Somebody else's glasses

[Skye]

Hi Hendy

You can get advice and help in organising and event from AS. there are fact sheets etc,

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?categoryID=200148&documentID=513

Good to know that your dad won't be kicked out if he doesn't get this place, but you've done everything you can. How soon will you know?

Love,

 

[TinaT]

Keep up the pressure Hendy. You are doing a fine job for your dad. xxTinaT

 

[hendy]

Dear Tina, Hazel and everyone
Many thanks for your interest and support. Have phoned the hospital and everyone I can think of, but the 'jury is still out'. I cant help feeling pessimiistic! If Dad doesn't get the bed, we'll just wait for another one to come up and battle it out again and again if necessary. I really feel for all five patients who need the bed and I will keep on at my concillor until I get a saisfactory answer from him. Being selfish, I cant believe anyone is as poorly or more needy of this bed than my Dad. How much more complex or profound do his difficulties have to be?
Take care
hendy

 

[Carolynlott]

Glasses again!

Dear Hendy,
Just to say I've got my fingers crossed for you too.

Just to get back to the subject of your original post on this thread (glasses) ... saw my Dad today and for the second week running, no glasses. Then on my way out the girl on reception asked me for the go ahead for the optician to repair Dad's glasses - at a cost of £100 (apparently one leg had broken). I nearly choked. I said no way, I'll order him some more via the internet - they only cost £50 in total. At least his other shoe has turned up. Slippers gone now though.

Speak soon,
Carolyn

 

[hendy]

Shoes Pyjamas and Glasses

Dear Carolyn
You do right! Its a shame they couldn't have told you earlier about your dads glasses, you could have got some sooner. Has your dad managed ok without them? Thankfully, the ward seemed to have really looked after Dad and his glasses. I still have to give them a good clean when I go though. My dad seems to have adopted somebody elses slippers. I cant bring myself to get stressed over it, its mildly amusing these days. I had to hand back various other peoples pyjamas the other day. My dad now has enough of his own pyjamas to dress the whole ward in. But they still try to put other peoples ones on him!! I've never seen his trendy brown trainers (first pair) I think they've gone for good. Is one of Dads shoes turning up more or less annoying than no shoe turning up Carolyn?
take care
hendy

 

[hendy]

Dear Hazel
Thanks very much for the link. Its very informative. Its just possible that we might be able to put something together by means of a fund raiser. The problem is getting a suitable venue for a six piece band and a sizeable audience, the tickets covering the cost.And to guarantee selling tickets to meet costs and make profits. The band would not need paying, but it would be only fair to pay their expenses. Its quite a financial commitment to put on a gig even if it is for charity. To ensure ticket take up it requires marketing which is effective and cheap! But it is not an impossiblity!
take care
hendy

 

[Skye]

Oh boy, it would be a huge undertaking.

But it might be worth talking to the fundraisers, they may have some ideas to help you.

Any word on your dad yet? I guess not, or you'd have told us!

Love,

 

[hendy]

Dear Hazel
Thanks for asking! Still no news!! I'm feeling even more pessimistic than ever! Oh well...
take care
hendy

 

[hendy]

Dear All
Had an answer phone message from Social worker. about the home that hospital has said is unsuitable. They are able to take Dad. Pardon me, but whats going on??? Just to 'put them in the picture' I phoned back to explain what the latest news was concerning dad. Couldn't they have bothered to do this? I did have to check back with hospital they werent planning to send him there! I was also able to ascertain, that the decision regarding Dad going to the preferred home no1, is still in the making. So there is hope after all, the senior ss chap( oviously in another department to the other SS) is coming to assess dad(I thought they had done this already?? )If I've put a 'spoke in the works' and delayed this decsion, then good. If i've made them think twice, then great. Please God let it be in my dads favour. Hospital have told me they have 'pushed' for dad to get this bed as well. Thank God I didn't, rely on dads allocated Social worker, they've turned out to be completely useless, at the time when Dad needed them most, they've really let him down. I hate blaming individuals. The system's rubbish. Why doesn't the right hand know what the left one's doing??
take care
hendy

 

[TinaT]

Have to agree with you Hendy. When Ken's consultant said that he could go to the home of my choice I waited a week for a social worker to phone me. I had two social workers - one who had dealt with us when Ken lived at home and one who was the hospital social worker. The SW who dealt with us from our home had said many months ago that she had signed him off as he was now under the care of the hospital social worker.

So I phoned the hospital social worker to ask what arrangements were being made for Ken's transfer. She told me to contact the old social worker as he was now under her care again. No one had thought to give me a ring to let me know any of this!

In the meantime I had been told by my next door neighbour that there was now a vacant place at the NH (her friend works at the Home). I immediately phoned up the old social worker, pushing the fact that Ken was now technically 'bed blocking', that the Consultant had given her consent, and that she was now back to being my social worker. I then went hotfoot to the NH and chatted to the manager about the vacant bed and asked him to phone the SW now back in charge of Ken's case.

Within 24 hours Ken had been given the vacant bed!! I wonder if this would have happened without my chasing and chasing all concerned?

xxTinaT

 

[Skye]

. The system's rubbish. Why doesn't the right hand know what the left one's doing??
take care
hendy

Why on earth is it so difficult for the different agencies to talk to each other? It shouldn't be up to the family to be a go-between.

Sorry you've had this fresh upset Hendy, but at least you know your dad is still in with a chance.

Love,

 

[hendy]

Dear Tina and Hazel
Thanks so much for your support and interest. If I thought all of this was going to benenfit my dad and I would do it over and over again! The irony is that this 'shambles' could be happening and he'll still not get the bed! The only reason the hospital knew about this vacant bed was because an assistant to Senior SS chap, let it slip in a conversation I had with her!! Otherwise we would all be blissfully ignorant of this crucial info. Oh well...its just more to write about in my next letter to the councillor. Its like some bizarre soap opera!
take care
hendy

 

[hendy]

Dear All
This is just a really quick update. Eventually Dad is being transferred to preferred home on Monday - have just found out! Feeling very emotional. Hundreds of questions going through my mind at the moment for Monday... It was really the only place where he could have gone. I have missed TP so much the last week or so. I have been just been 'snowed under' with work, family and playing commitments. I will try and catch up with everyone's news this weekend. Sylvia, I haven't given up on slimming club, just darent get on the scales!! Have to rush children to a birthday party now! Love to everyone.

take care
Hendy

ps sister visited dad for first time this am. First visit since he was admitted at beg of Feb

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Hendy

You have been missed.

At least your father is going to your prefered home, so you at least will be easier in your mind. I know how hard it will be but what`s the alternative?

I will be thinking of you on Monday. I hope it goes well or as well as it can . The transition from a hospital to a home is often much easier than from one`s own home to a care home, so you might be the one who feels it most.

And come back to the Slimming Club when you are ready.

Love xx

 

[hendy]

Dear All
Dad is now on his second day at the CH. The staff and manager have been wonderfully reassuring. So important at such a traumatic time. Dad and I are old hands at this, you'd think it would get easier, but sadly the opposite is true. There have been number of concerns. The main one is an 'old chestnut' The GLASSES issue. Dad had managed to lose his glasses on his last day in hospital. The consequences of this are far reaching. Although mobile, Dad is even more frail and unsteady. He was high risk of falls before he lost his glasses, the situation is a whole lot worse now. There is another pair on order asap. Needless to say he has had a bump and has cut his forehead. I just hope he can get through the next few days without anything more serious happening... The CH have discussed the need for maybe Dad wearing hip protectors, they are going to see if he will co-operate wearing some.
Yesterday's visit was rather traumatic as Dad was very disorientated, uderstandably. But the home have very quickly tried to get to know Dad and his triggers. I was able to get together a 'scrap book'folder that included information I thought they might find useful- it has helped everybody enormously. They have even been able to write a careplan based on whats in it. The scrap book is very much a 'work in progress' and I intend to add much more information, photos etc as we go along. For example, I need to include a section on hobbies. Although Dad cant take part in his hobbies any more, the home feel its important to be able to stimulate his environment, so that he can see or hear activites going on. Very multisensory.
The latest visit to Dad showed him to be anxious but beginning to settle. He was able to thank staff on occasion, which I thought was very moving because he can't make a lot of sense and can still be polite to patients and staff. This is the Dad I know, when he's feeling really poorly and showing challenging behaviour they will know its not him, but the illness.
The best bit of all about tonights visit was that he recognised me and was able to wave bye bye when I left. He hasn't done that for a while.
take care
hendy

 

[hendy]

Dear Sylvia
Many thanks for your kind message of support. I will be joining slimmimng club again!
take care
hendy

 

[Mameeskye]

Hendy

I am so pleased that your Dad is finally in the home of choice. While it doesn't make it easy, it does make it easier on you. It sounds like a good home who are taking time to get to know him. It will take a while for him to settle and feel secure.

It will also help you to see that he does know you. These moments are always so special.

I know that the difference in Mum was amazing as the care home started to work with her following discharge. The doubly incontinent old lady who needed a zimmer who was discharged to them six months later was continent once more and walking freely. She had a further good couple of years of life.

Love to you all (and I'm with you on the scales!!)

Love

Mameeskye

 

[hendy]

Dear Mameeskye
Your reply was very reassuring, thank you. It just shows that despite dementia,with good nursing, things can be made just a little bit better and more comfortable. A better quality of life, when so much has gone away from Dad. Sometimes the little things we have taken for granted become more precious.
take care
hendy

 

[hendy]

Dear All
I just wanted to note down a few things that happened during Dads discharge.
The occupational therapist that sent me to go and see the wrong kind of home, got in touch to discuss Dads Life history booklet(She had wantd me to do one for training purpsoes and probably her CV). I reminded her of the time when she sent me on a wild goose chase! As she sent me to the wrong kind of home, she musnt have too much of an idea of my dads needs. So in that case I wouldn't be taking her advice about how to write about my dad. I'd be doing it myself and she'd have to find somebody else to do it. I'm beginning to wish I'd dobbed her in when I had the chance
The CH rang me to enquire about Dads medical history. Was he a diabetic? They didn't know because there wasnt anything mentioned on his discharge notes! (Yes he is, but not on meds)
The CH phoned me again the following day, they were worried about Dads dribbling. This had been treated successfully in hospital. He hadn't been written up for anthing to control it. I phoned the hospital to ask them what he was on for it and they said he had been taken off it just prior to discharge, but they didn't know why. No, they hadnn't found his glasses.
The CH wondered why he was on so many food supplements when he's got such a good appetite?
A week before dads dischage the SW phoned me to find out what was happening, seemed to be unaware of everything, didn't have time to enlighten her.
God Help anyone who needs help from 'the system' who can't speak up for themselves.
take care
hendy

ps sister managed to visit Dad for the first time since his admission in Feb on the Saturday just prior to his discharge.
ps trying to not to be cynical, but can't help it.

 

[Skye]

Hendy, that sounds like a huge failure in communication. The hopital should have drawn up a discharge care plan with input from the SW.

I'm not surprised you haven't much faith in the system.