Somebody else's glasses

[TinaT]

Dear Hendy,

I'm so very sorry to read of the decline of your dad, when we all had such hopes that you could, at last, have some peace after working so hard for him. You are such a stalwart Hendy and are as ever, working away to try to make your dad as comfortable as can be possible.

As ever, it is such an uphill struggle and must be completely exhausting you at this most distressing time. I'm thinking of you, your family and your lovely dad. Bless you all

xxTinaT

 

[hendy]

Dear Tina
Thank you for your kind message. Dad has declined very quickly, have just rung hospital to see how he's doing and although still very poorly, has been able to have some solid food. This is good news. But how well he can make a recovery, i'm not sure at all.

During our visit yesterday, what can I say, we all heard it, Dad had been struggling to speak,but clear as a bell, *ugger !!
Well, thats Dads opinion about everything thats happened!

Dad is such a fighter, but I dont know how much more of this I can take. I'm exhausted, my health's suffering. I dont know how I'm going to carry on. Sometimes I feel I've got nothing left to give to anybody. All I want to do is sleep, but when I wake up I still feel the same. My lovely family have managed to carry on through out all of this, my husband is just such a wonderful support. I cant remember a time when I have just been able to enjoy my children, without the worry of Dad hanging over us the whole time.
take care
hendy

 

[Skye]

Dear Hendy

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, and even more sorry to hear how low you have become.

It's hard when you get to this stage, you don't know what to expect from one day to the next, and it's a constant rollercoaster.

I know how exhausted you are, and I don't know what I can say to help. All you can do is try to stay strong, and come and talk to us whenever you can. You are doing a wonderful job for your dad, and should be so proud of yourself.

Love and hugs,

 

[hendy]

Dear Hazel
Thanks Hazel, I think I'm just feeling sorry for myself right now. I'm sure it will pass and I will be feeling more positive tomorrow. Ken very kindly visited Dad this evening, but he was so tired he just slept through.
take care
hendy

 

[hendy]

Dear All
Dad has been moved off the medical assessment ward. He has been placed on stroke recovery ward. He is on a hi-tec bed. They are trying their best to prevent pressure sores, so we will have to wait and see. Dad is much brighter in himself, although still poorly, he is off oxygen and has been able to take pureed food and liquids with thickner in. He has also been prescribed build up feeds, which he enjoys. He is being seen by the speech therapist who will assess his swallowing etc. Staff will be trying to encourage his mobility, when he is feeling less tired. He has been bed bound since his stroke. He is fighting this all the way! I'm feeling a little more positive and I think I will be ok as long as there aren't anymore emergencies for a while...
take care
hendy

 

[Grannie G]

Good news hendy

IT is good news isn`t it.

And it sounds as if the medics haven`t given up on him and are trying everything they can to help improve his condition.

Fingers crossed hendy.

Love xx

 

[hendy]

Dear Sylvia
Thanks so much, the staff have been very reassuring. Its amazing how they can be without promising miracles!
take care
hendy

 

[May]

Hendy, so sorry to hear you are having such a tough ( understatement of the year) time at the moment. Thinking of you and sending best wishes.

 

[TinaT]

My thoughts are with you Hendy - Really don't know how you are coping with it all. Thank God you have your husband and children. They are everything at times like this. It must be like looking at a miracle when you see your dad even slightly improving. God willing, he will continue in this way.

xx TinaT

 

[Skye]

Dear Hendy, it all sounds so much more promising for your dad.

They're certainly doing all they can for him, and re-assuring you as well. It must help to know he's in good hands.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad.

Love,

 

[hendy]

Dear Tina, Hazel and May
Thanks for your support, it does help to keep me positive! Dad is still incredibly tired, but he was able to talk a little(not making sense) and respond to simple questions. He had been mmoved onto the ward next door. His hands were really cold and the staff got him another blanket. He had a good tea(pureed) but had not had anything else to eat in the day.His teddy and cards had been stashed in his cupboard, so got them out again. Cant describe how I feel right now, not anxious or upset, but kind of accepting I suppose. I've decided to visit every other day, as I dont think I could cope with going every day and feel a bit guilty about this. But have felt very fragile recently and need to be able to 'keep going' indefinately. Dads just not ready to give in yet.
take care#hendy

 

[TinaT]

It must have upset you to find your dad had been moved. Did they explain why? Just as you had developed some working relationship with staff on the previous ward. It all goes to add to the stress dosn't it.

It is good to hear that your dad is slowly improving. Every milestone is to be celebrated.

I'm also glad that you are 'pacing' yourself a little by visiting every other evening. You are in for the long haul and have to consider all of the family. I'm sure that is what your dad would advise you to do.

xxTinaT

 

[hendy]

Dear Tina and everyone
Thank you for your kind message. Dad is still bed bound, and on a drip. He has been able to take small amounts of food. He is receiving his last drip tonight. The physios are seeing him tomorrow to try and see if he can become mobile. He has been trying to get out of bed. I took on Dads new glasses and explained to staff, if they were trying to get him up then, he would definately need his glasses on as he is visually disabled without them. I made light of the fact that this was his fifth (or so, lost count) pair of glasses, and he has left a pair in every hospital he's been in! However,I think she got the message and locked them into his cabinet. I will worry now that that is where they will stay when they are trying to get him walking! I have been worried about bed sores but they seem to have managed them very well and there aren't any that have broken down.
The hospital have been in touch with the Home and I think they are working to get Dad discharged, but there are obviously questions about his changed needs,and of course nothings definate when its dementia - it can change everything overnight.
take care
hendy
Was very conscious of the fact that Dad was in a ward with relatively young men in, was it because it was disturbing for others to see such a poorly man? Was it because the dementia aspect is so obvious to everyone and it is a medical ward? Some visitors seemed to be more interested in me visiting Dad than in their own 'patient'. Perhaps we were just a curiosity.

 

[lesmisralbles]

We cannot do any more than send our love to you. That is because we do not know what to say
Barb & RonXX

 

[TinaT]

You must take after your dad - what a fighter he is. The next few days will be even more nerve wracking for you as you wait to see how he gets on! It's never ending is it - living on your nerves?

Heard a lady who cares for her disabled husband this morning saying on TV that she had a breakdown because as the doctor explained to her, she had been living on such an emotional roller coaster that her adrenalin levels had been constantly putting her body under stress. I think we can relate quite easily to that!!

Fingers crossed for the next few days.

As ever I'll be thinking about you and sending you waves of love.

xxTinaT

 

[hendy]

Dear Barb, Ron and Tina
Thank you for your lovely messages.They do mean so much. I know that 'adrenaline' feeling only too well.
take care everyone
hendy

 

[Grannie G]

Dear hendy.
All I can send are positive vibes for your father and admiration for you.
Love xx

 

[hendy]

Dear Sylvia
Thank you. Dad needs all the positive vibes he can get!
take care
hendy

 

[hendy]

Bad news and the Good news

Dear All
Just in contact with the hospital to find out how dad got on with his phsio assessment. The bad news is that Dad has lost his mobility almost completely. He can stand from sitting, but cant move round on his feet or walk. He will need a hoist in future. This sudden and dramatic decline is what I can only have expected. Things never seem to get better do they? As ever when dealing with this foul disease, hope for the best, but expect the worst. So the roller coaster, keeps on going...
Having accepted this,(I cant do anything more), the next worry was will the home have him back? His needs have drastically changed. The good news is that they will, if the family agree to it! Or course!! So thats one less thing to worry about. Its the one big positive. Thank God!

take care
hendy
ps I didnt dare ask whether he'd got his glasses on for this assessment. I dont suppose they would have done much good in the grand scheme of things. But he will certainly still need them even when immobile.

 

[Irish Eyes]

Dear Hendy,
Sorry to hear about the decline in your Dads mobility. Reading your posts is so familiar to my Mums story. She went to hospital from the home last October and has been in wheelchair since. On the positive side afterwards she did not seem bothered as walking had become a chore. At least the home will have him back. Glasses are always an issue for us also...and slippers. We must be on our 10th pair of slippers and numerous glasses. Hang in there, your posts inspired me. This site is new for me and a blessing. It is lovely to chat to people who really know what it is like. Sending good thoughts and wishes. x