So, what’s my Pauline been up to today?

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,918
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Thank you all. Every bowel movement is loose and best word I can come up with is, ‘slurry,’ as best description. She has had GP rectal exam plus stool sample tests and FIT test but no response from GP so I messaged them yesterday via PATCHES asking the questions but as yet no response.
Mornings are now becoming a sort of routine as yet again and before I could shave and shower, Pauline has an accident in pull-ups so needing cleaning and changing and putting back to bed while I finish up in the bathroom including cleaning pan etc. However, as I exit the shower she is back and fresh pull-up is soiled so I clean her up and get her showered etc.
All pretty routine except that, as shown in chest scans yesterday, which clearly showed the radiographer said, that I Have only one fully functioning lung at present, so all this is now exhausting to say the least.
Just hoping they find a treatment for it that doesn’t mean hospital stay as if I go in she will have to go into respite care without a dounbt.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
82,332
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Kent
This is awful for you @Agzy.

Is Pauline still so resistant to help in the home? If you could have someone in the morning and evening it would surely take some of the strain off you.
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
1,291
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I wouldn’t wish for you to have to go in to hospital but if it means you get some respite it could be a blessing in a way
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,918
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
This is awful for you @Agzy.

Is Pauline still so resistant to help in the home? If you could have someone in the morning and evening it would surely take some of the strain off you.
Absolutely resistant, vehemently so and weekly companion contract has just been cancelled as her attendance although pleasurable and enjoyed at the time has become a negative fixation, so frustrating.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,370
0
South coast
Agzy, Im really, really worried about you
Pauline seems to have got a lot worse recently and you are far from well.
We read so often on here about people who look after their spouses with dementia single handed who then pass away. I dont want to sound melodramatic, but carers are 30% more likely to die than non-carers and I dont want it to happen o you.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,918
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Agzy, Im really, really worried about you
Pauline seems to have got a lot worse recently and you are far from well.
We read so often on here about people who look after their spouses with dementia single handed who then pass away. I dont want to sound melodramatic, but carers are 30% more likely to die than non-carers and I dont want it to happen o you.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thank you @canary and yes, she is worse since her fall and trip to A&E and, while my breathing/lung issues do make somethings hard we at least know what it is and will hopefully know quite soon what is to be done.
In some ways I think by doing so much for her has made her too dependant on me but I can’t imagine me allowing her to struggle and not help and just wish her sons would have accepted the diagnosis and been more hands on in helping early on, but now have their own issues and make it even less likely.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,419
0
Surrey
We all worry so much about you @Agzy - I do wish there was some sort of solution to help you in the mornings particularly.

If you were a paid carer you would be signed off sick by now. How would Pauline react to help if she was told you couldn’t do it?

I know the accidents happen not at set times but is there a window of an hour or two when they do happen When help might be at the best timing? …….regardless of whether Pauline would accept it or not!

Are your children helping you - even if emotionally and helping with ur hospital appointments etc?

Hoping for some joy this Saturday for you…
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,604
0
Bury
Another one who is concerned about you and Pauline.
Have you considered using a pulse oximeter to see if your breathing difficulties are affecting the oxygen level in your blood?
There's a wide choice, the one I have is currently on offer.
5199TGp44RL._SL1000_.jpg

It's an old model only showing oxygen level, pulse, and pulse regularity by a dot that bounces up and down, new models show waveforms.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,918
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
We all worry so much about you @Agzy - I do wish there was some sort of solution to help you in the mornings particularly.

If you were a paid carer you would be signed off sick by now. How would Pauline react to help if she was told you couldn’t do it?

I know the accidents happen not at set times but is there a window of an hour or two when they do happen When help might be at the best timing? …….regardless of whether Pauline would accept it or not!

Are your children helping you - even if emotionally and helping with ur hospital appointments etc?

Hoping for some joy this Saturday for you…
Thank you and I too wish there was an easy solution especially as, for 75% of the day, she is lovely and just need company and someone to navigate the various TV apps and outlets for her favourite films and series. We are not married and my family are very supportive of me but I will not permit them to do hands on care as, if anything happened to me they would inherit her care rather than it being the responsibility of her sons as it should. All life is a quandary but a dementia carers more so it seems.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,918
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Another one who is concerned about you and Pauline.
Have you considered using a pulse oximeter to see if your breathing difficulties are affecting the oxygen level in your blood?
There's a wide choice, the one I have is currently on offer.
5199TGp44RL._SL1000_.jpg

It's an old model only showing oxygen level, pulse, and pulse regularity by a dot that bounces up and down, new models show waveforms.
I have a wrist worn BP monitor but GP says oxygen levels are ok in spite of the diaphragm in my right lung being stuck in the raised position and so limiting air intake. Most recent video scan (?) shows the diaphragm as ‘fluttering’ but once that know why they can either medicate or operate and hopefully give relief.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,396
0
Nottinghamshire
@Agzy, can you get some help in and say it is for you? At the very least it would be someone to help sort out the washing. That way Pauline might get used to them and then they can gradually start to help her.
I too don't want anything to happen to you {{{Agzy}}}
 

Scarlet Lady

Registered User
Apr 6, 2021
600
0
I agree with others, @Agzy . Could you present a need for help to Pauline under the umbrella of helping with your own health care? After all, it wouldn’t really be a lie, you both need assistance. If necessary, would your GP or nurse be able to persuade her that it’s really you that needs help (even if you say on a temporary basis) ?
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,918
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
No poo accidents yesterday although several pads renewed as she wet herself with every toilet visit. Early on her mood was very down and got so bad that no TV programme was good enough. I tried several and then settled her with a Netflix one about a wolf and lion cub based in Canada. This was great for her and began a day of really good TV watching with a couple of films and series we have never seen or heard of before. Didn’t go out the front door at all and yet we were really happy together and at peace with the world.
Her son couldn’t visit as his van has been written off and he has no transport So not aa single visitor all day but she didn’t notice and no problems from it.