So bizarre !

[RedLou]

Ooh, definitely taking a bit of getting used to.
JM - yes, I think miscarriage is little spoken of considering how very, very common it is. If it happens early in the pregnancy no one expects you to be very upset. But the fact that you've lost that forward-hope of a new life is an emotional trauma. I think all this is because the medical profession know that miscarriages are very common and usually there is no reason why the woman can't go on to have another child. However, from the mother's perspective, she is filled with doubt and anxiety about whether her problems run deeper and she won't be able to.
Amy, I will happily prattle on about my course! I'm doing an English major, Spanish minor part-time. (Finished the Spanish bit now.) My next module is Children's Literature, approached from a historic and psychological aspect, not just a literary one. And I'm loving it, while being anxious I'm not 'up' to this level (it belongs to year 3 of a degree, but I've picked and chosen my modules quite randomly and I've done only half of my year one modules and half of my year two modules so far.) I have an essay to prepare at the moment (about the depiction of adults in Rapunzel and either Harry Potter or Philip Pullman) and my current concern is that I'll never get all I want to say into the length we're allowed so I just hope that's a good sign! --The two books that totally re-enraptured me this time around were Tom's Midnight Garden and Northern Lights. Little Women, particularly the second part aka Good Wives, did leave me disappointed; I mourned how much Louise May Alcott sold out Jo, turning her into an obedient hausfrau to the opinionated ugly German guy. And I don't know why we're supposed to accept that it wouldn't have worked with Laurie; they're clearly good friends and equals in their sparring. I'd rather she'd let Jo be an independent spinster, as she was. It felt as if LMA felt she had to bow to contemporary norms, instead of being as bold in her fiction as she was in her life.

 

[jugglingmum]

both children have really enjoyed the Philip Pullman trilogy, marketed now as YA (young adult ie teens by another name)I think. Not sure if son read tom's midnight garden but it remains on daughter's bookshelf.

I remember not understanding the change in Jo at the time I read the books (when I was probably mid teens) and really only enjoyed Little Women, now you mention it and not the others.

Dau has never managed to read HP (unusally for her) but has really enjoyed the films (again unusually as she normally prefers books to films). Both dau and I got bored with the whomping willow in book 2.

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning everyone,

Spamar, glad the funeral went well and that you are OK, although sorry that you had to consult with a GP whilst away - fingers crossed that the betnovate and the aqueous cream betwen them do the trick for you. Safe journey home for today (or tomorrow, if you travel then) hunxxxx

Red, much as I feared the 'academic essays' when I went to uni, like you, I found the main issue to be fitting everything into the number of words we were allowed - that was especially true of my dissertation, condensing all the research and conclusions into 5000 words was the hardest bit!

I could never figure out why Jo and Laurie couldn't marry, either - up until it was clear that he and Amy were obviously going to be together, I was sure that Jo would have a change of heart, and the two of them would end up together travelling and having adventures all over the world. I remember feeling that would have been a much better outcome for Jo, and being disappointed when it clearly wasn't going to happen.

Manic week in work, (what else?) - fun, a lot of the time, but I really am shattered! Sheep day went well - and has been extended - its in a Pop Up gallery until next week, as several people contacted me saying that they were gutted that they couldn't make the actual day, so it's being watched over and young disabled people from the area have been invited to 'pop in' and help with the painting. Aside from that, I've had another group designing a CD album cover, to help develop their IT skills, and (also to help with IT skills) another two groups have had a hoot using on-line programmes to make their own group CD's. Yet another group have created wall art for their new classroom and I thiink the waiting list for me to come in and run projects with an ever-growing number of organisations now extends to January/February. Really wish that there were two of me at the moment!

OH also shattered - so proud of him, he had a major exam to take this week, as part of his training, and has really worked his socks off preparing for it - and he passed, with 96%. On top of that, he's had a week that's involved a lot of physical training, so he and I are currently both ready for a break - Rhodes seems a long, long time ago!

No set plans for the weekend, though we might take a run to Coventry to visit oldest. I should really get stuck into the house, as it's now at the stage where it could be used for a TV special for Kim and Aggie - but whether or not I can summon up the energy is another matter. We may pop and see Mil today, depend's on whether or not we do decide to do the Coventry trip tomorrow.


Hope all of you are OK, and Much love to you all - I'll finish with a couple of pics of Leonard the sheep, especially for Amy, lol xxxx

(Not quite sure whats happened here - although I've only uploaded each image once, for some reason in preview, they seem to have uploaded twice - and I can't work out how to delete the duplicates! - Sorry!)

 

[RedLou]

Ann, he so's beautiful, he deserves to be posted twice!

 

[Slugsta]

Evening all,

Sorry I have not been in for a few days, time seems to have run away with me - which is strange considering how little I have to do! [I wanted to put an 'embarrassed' smiley here but can't find one]

Ann, I'm very glad that MIL was physically brighter when you visited but so sorry that she remains in bad humour relating to you

Hurrah! and congratulations to your OH, he has clearly worked hard.

Sheepie is lovely

Spamar, I'm glad that the funeral went well.

I read LW when I was just in my teens but I don't remember anything about it. Nor have I ever met Elsie Whoever [embarrassed again]

Will pop in properly soon . . .

 

[Spamar]

Hi there, now at home, in my own chair, and it's lovely and peaceful! Much as I love cousin and wife, it's a madhouse, especially at fair time! Long journey back. I left late, and stopped an hour at Taunton Deane. I dont usually stop that long! Couple of slow bits, lots for traffic and I'm just not going to go into my driving. Think I need driving lessons! So went much more slowly than usual. NOT a good journey.

Hope things are doing as welll as possible. Ann, hope your employers realise what a long time you spend commuting. Loooove the pics of grandd Patch
Red, so pleased for dau. I'm another who has had a miscarriage, btw.. or is it you who wants to be a grandmamma?
Amy, lovely to hear from you, glad everything is OK.
Slugsta, glad skycat is enjoying the best in life!
Well, I have Strictly on, but I must go and start unpacking and fill the washing machine!

 

[jugglingmum]

cyclocross season has started - I wasn't 100% for the first race, but did take part today (racing snakes at the front - slow ones at the back)

Daughter has moved up to juniors so in the same race as me now, she lapped me

Not sure this will work but this is a link to a photo of my plump body carrying my bike up a very muddy slope, nice slidey drop off into the woods though

https://www.flickr.com/photos/100713057@N05/36705854944/in/album-72157686758419280/

 

[Slugsta]

Yes, that worked Jm - well cycled!

 

[Spamar]

Yep, worked for me as well. I can only admire!
Must be a bit annoying to be lapped by daughter! But also pleasing cos she must be a bit better!

 

[2jays]

cyclocross season has started - I wasn't 100% for the first race, but did take part today (racing snakes at the front - slow ones at the back)

Daughter has moved up to juniors so in the same race as me now, she lapped me

Not sure this will work but this is a link to a photo of my plump body carrying my bike up a very muddy slope, nice slidey drop off into the woods though

https://www.flickr.com/photos/100713057@N05/36705854944/in/album-72157686758419280/

Love ya lots but I'm still convinced......

YOU ARE CRAZY

 

[cragmaid]

Good Grief JM.... above and beyond!!! Brava kiddo !!!!x

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

Flipping heck JM! Cracking photograph - but that looks hard work! Torn between admiration and agreeing with 2jays Maybe not so good for you to be lapped by your daughter in one way - but in another, you must be so pleased that she is obviously so much better!

Spamar, glad you are home safe, but sorry that the journey home was so hard for you. I have never been that fond of driving, I must admit - glad I can get myself from A to B, but I don't enjoy it and I won't tackle long journeys these days because of the stupid joint pain, so you are much braver than me!

Hiya Red, 2jays, Maureen, R Anne, Amy and Slugsta and everyone else - hope you are all OK xxxx

It was a quiet weekend for me. OH had developed a stonking cold by Saturday morning, so we decided to hold off on trips to see oldest. Other than me getting stuck into the house, and him getting stuck into the ironing (to be fair, for the last couple of months he has done ALL the ironing!), we did very little. Made a nice change, tbh, not to be running round here and there.

Yesterday afternoon, with OH going through tissues and throat lozenges at a rate of knotts, I decided that I would visit Mil solo - first time I've done that since before our holiday. I hoped that, despite the fact that she was certainly a bit 'off' with me last week, enough time had passed for to her to have got over whatever it was that had prompted the quite nasty attitude she had towards me before we went on holiday.

Found her in the lounge, obviously just having eaten her lunch (in fact, one of the staff told me that she had eaten TWO lunches, demanding a second when she forgot she had eaten the first!). I got a huge smile and she actually knew my name without any prompting. I sat down and she was straight into her confabulations - how she 'always comes here for lunch, every time they put a roast on ', all about her shopping trip, and how she had bought herself a 'Lovely green top with little white squares all over it', how she had seen me in town and 'waved like mad, but you were in a world of your own and didn't see me', as well as sundry tales about going dancing, going to the pictures (which prompted a brief burst of singing songs from Mary Poppins), and a rambling account of her going into the 'big town' and finding that the big shop 'had sold out of everything she wanted, but had plenty of what others wanted'. She actually started to get cross with the last story - the more she rambled on, the more detailed it got and the more annoyed she got at these awful 'town shops' not having even the 'bread and sausages' she had wanted to buy, so I tried youngest daughters trick and whipped out my phone to show her some photographs, which seemed to distract her. She recognised and named her grandson, her son and (really odd) our older dog, Busta - but couldn't put a name to her grandddaughter's and when shown a picture of herself, she stared at it for several seconds before informing me that 'That's not MY Mum!'. When I smiled and said no, it was her, she asked was I stupid? It wasn't her, she insisted - because ' My hair isn't white for a start - its dark brown!' I skipped to the next picture to distract, and a couple of images later she had no problem recognising herself in a shot taken of her and youngest - though she didn't know who youngest was.

She then announced she wanted the loo and called out to a pasing staff to ask if 'the toilet here has been fixed yet?' . Intrestingly, this prompted two staff to appear by her side, and they helped her stand and supported her to walk to the toilet - despite being told that Mil can and does walk without help, it's about 2 months since I've seen her able to get from A to B without needing support, and the staff yesterday acted as though helping her like that is the norm.

When she sat back down, I was flicking through the photographs still, and she looked at a few more before she very abruptly told me to 'put the album away - I want to talk'. So, I put the phone down and just like that, it was all change. Time we were leaving, she told me - she had to get back to the little one at home. I tried a smile and 'reminding' her that I was going to pick up some errands and she had a taxi coming 'later' (I sometimes find that if I present a reason for something happening or not happening, as though I'm reminding Mil rather than telling her something as though its new information, Mil accepts it as reality - like me saying that I was helping cut her meat because of 'your sore wrist' on the last visit). She wanted to know why I couldn't share her taxi then? I explained that I had to go in the opposite direction to get to the 'shops'. She accepted that for a few seconds, then it was back to her trying to stand and insisting that it was 'time we were going'. Again I tried the tale of how she was going in a taxi to her house 'later' and I was going shopping, then to my house. She told me she was going home with me . . . because 'My husband is at your house, and if you think I'm going to let you go and be alone with him, you can think again!'.

Aggressive tone and attitude, clearly very suddenly angry and suspicious and very obviously me back to being a floozy who is after her husband. No idea if the husband was her late husband, or if she had drafted her son into the role yet again, and I didn't stop to find out. Up I got and made briskly for the door, with Mil shouting after me to 'wait for her' and to 'come back now!'. I stopped for a few seconds to explain to a staff member why I was off, and she headed straight for Mil to try and distract her, while I whipped out the door and headed off quickly, without looking back.

So, evidently, she still has this deep seated antagonism towards me, which largely revolves around her being convinced that I am having an affair with her husband. She sometimes forgets it, and we can have a run of visits where all is OK, but sooner or later, back this delusion comes and I am pretty sure now that it will always be there and there is little I can do about it - Lord knows, I've tried! All I can do is be thankful when we get a mostly good visit, and cut and run quickly when the delusion emerges. To stay just makes her more wound up, and the staff have said when asked that yes, it can take time to settle her after I've left when she is like that. Not so much for the staff's sake, but for hers (because it must be awful to really believe what she believes and it upsets her) it's better if I leave as soon as she starts, and if that means very short visits sometimes, then that's just the way it is.

Full day at a science centre with two of my groups today, IT session and then a Nature reserve visit tomorrow. Got to chase up a couple of emails, too, and Wednesday will be a full admin day. Thursday I am taking my day off, and if I can, only working a half day on Friday to try and claw back some of last weeks hours.

Hoping that all is OK with all the Bizarrites, take care everyone xxxxx

 

[CeliaW]

Morning Ann. Sorry to hear about the affair fixation looming again but glad you seemed to have quite a reasonable visit before that.

Your work sounds frantic although you are obviously a success in this role. Rather concerned about the impact on your back/joints though, what's the situation with a new therapist?

Do take care of yourself

Hugs xx

 

[Spamar]

Sorry to hear about mil, Ann. My thoughts are with you!
I used to love driving and think nothing of driving to Cornwall or wherever. I think these days it's do much busier and I'm so much older! With all the aches and pains that entails. My mistake was not stopping at Reading and spending the night. I was OK when I passed there......but it was downhill from there! Stepdau wasn't in either (Chelmsford).
Today would have been our 35th wedding anniversary. Think I will go out for lunch! Keep my mind off it.
Very windy here today, lawn and drive covered with oak leaves. Work for gardener in the morning. Did I say we had changed part if a flower bed to lawn? Will make mowing easier. Sowed the grass seed the day before I left for Cornwall. Some of the new grass is now 4'' high, lots hasn't germinated! Patchy is the best way to describe it!
Slugsta, I have read Little Women and the rest. Elsie Dinsmore is mentioned in one of the Chalet School series as 'that good little girl, always spouting texts' or something like that. I'm not reading all the 50 odd CS books to find out if my memory is right!
Everybody, hope things are going well!

 

[RedLou]

JM - I am seriously impressed. I'm puffing at the end of my one-hour Pilates class.
Spamar - no, not me who wants a grandchild. I'm just not on that kind of wavelength. Although now we've got this far I am invested personally as well as on account of my daughter's anguish. Daughter has had cramps over weekend and currently in hospital for scan. Trying to distract myself...
Glad you are back safely.
Ann, sorry the delusion has returned. Hope you get your time off to relax and enjoy yourself!

 

[Spamar]

Red, will be thinking about your daughter. Don't think cramps are good, but hoping they will pass.

Been out for lunch, indulged in glass of white with lunch and a glass of port now, in OHs honour. It's good really, I haven't had anything alcoholic to drink for ages and ages!

Have got an appt for shoulder injection under ultra sound (sure the consultant said under X-ray!) Thursday morning. Thursday pm is singing so won't be home much that day!

Still windy here. Outside the backdoor was cleared of leaves this morning, they were back 5 mins later!

 

[Slugsta]

Afternoon all,

Ann, I'm sorry that the delusion is still in full force You clearly have a workable system of dealing with it, but it would be better all round if it was not there in the first place. I do hope that OH's cold has cleared and that you are managing your work load.

Spamar, I am sorry that I missed your special day. I hope you were able to remember your husband mostly with smiles (((hugs)))

Red, I hope all is well with your daughter and the babe. I remember nursing a lady who had cramps and bleeding, sometimes very heavy, throughout her pregnancy and still delivered a healthy baby at full term - so I have my fingers firmly crossed (which does make typing difficult!).

I'm rather like Ann with regards to driving. I would do it because I had to but never really enjoyed it. Now I can't drive much anyway because of pain - 10 - 15 minutes is about my tolerance.

It is quite mild here still but the trees are looking very autumnal and it is getting dark earlier - we went out at 7.30 on Sunday evening and it was properly dark, not just gloomy, by then

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

Celia, no new therapist - I've been recommended one in the area, have phoned a few times, but always fully booked. There are others, I know, but I just would prefer to go on word of mouth - the last therapist showed me how different the approaches are, and as I actually think I was worse for several weeks with him, I would prefer not to risk that happening again Plus, tbh, its a lot to do with how busy I am, and the fact that at the moment, I am having to work Fridays, as I have a regular project running on that day. That means having treatment on a Thursday - and if I am stiff and sore afterwards, having to work on the Friday, whereas with the last treatment, I had the weekend to recover. In the meantime, I'm using tens, heat packs, tiger balm and green muscle extract gel to help with the pain. OH, after he found a lot of research suggesting that infra-red suana heat helps with fibromyagia and joint pain, bought a small, perfectly working second hand infra red sauna - I'm using that twice a week, and I think it helps.

On the plus side, I finally - several months after seeing one of the locums who now staff our surgery - have had through an appointment with the rheumatology department at the hospital, for the end of this month. This is hopefully to either confirm or rule out if it is fibromyalgia causing the joint pain and swelling, which I hope will maybe lead to some treatment that is more effective than the cortizone injections - or that awful plasma injection!

Spamar, I hope you were able to get hrogh the anniversary OK, hun - days like that must be hard, sending you a big {{{{{hug}}}}} xxxxx

Red, got everything crossed that your dau is OK and that the scan showed that everything is OK with baby - thinking of you all xxxx

Hi Slugsta - yes, Autumn has arrived here too, with it seemingly getting light later and dark earlier, all of a sudden! So much rain here at the moment, that I haven't been able to get out to try for some pics of the gorgeous Autumn colours yet - I don't mind wet weather for my own sake, but its definitely not good for my camera!

Mil's delusion just makes me feel so sad now. I actually would prefer to visit more often - more for my benefit than hers, it just feels like what I should be doing - but comon sense tells me that if it just causes her to become more agitated, it's not fair of me to go more than I am at the moment. Poor woman - just wish that the delusions that cause her so much angst would vanish - she has been through enough. I can cope better with her forgetting us, than I can with seeing her so angry and upset because of the delusions.

OH has generously shared his cold with me. Monday evening I had twinges of a sore throat and was sneezing, by last night I was going through tissues at a rate of knots, and croaking like a frog. Today I feel rotten, achey and just absolutely fed up of blowing my nose and feeling like my throats lined with barbed wire. I have a meeting today, plsu some admin that HAS to be done, but if I'm no better tomorrow, I'm actually considering cancelling Friday's group - something I wouldn't normally do, but having seen how ill OH was at the weekend, I doubt I'd be able to manage it if I get that bad.

Right - off for my shower and to get ready to run OH into work - we are trying to manage with just the one car, but its getting increasingly difficult as the heavy rain is making cycling into work impractical for him - I think we may have to think about getting a second car, perhaps after Christmas.

Take care and love to everyone xxxx

 

[CeliaW]

Fingers crossed for your appt having some positive outcomes Ann and for your cold to do a runner!

Just a thought but would your organisation let you advertise for a volunteer to help you? (Presumably you have a local volunteer centre?) I remember when you were unsure if you would get the job/be considered suitable - you seem to have really faced the challenge and made a great success of it, well done you!

Have a good day and take care xx

 

[Slugsta]

Evening all,

Ann, I'm sorry that your OH kindly gave you his cold I do hope you soon feel better - but having Friday off sounds like a good idea, you don't want to give your bugs to your service users!

Mum wasn't great today. Her eyes were open but she really wasn't interacting at all - other than eating her choccy! The staff reported that she had been 'very grumpy' yesterday, which is unlike her. I suspect that she might have been overtired after her interaction with us on Sunday.

We have been lucky here with the weather, very little rain. Although we are forecast wind and rain by the end of the week/weekend.