So bizarre !
- Thread starter Ann Mac
- Start date
Am I the only person who is thinking that Grace should take this special opportunity to raid her MIL's house while she is away over Christmas? Take back all your stuff, Grace; if you can find it!
Brilliant idea.
Tee hee! I love the idea of us all raiding MIL's house to get Grace's things back Grace, you really do deserve to spend Christmas exactly how you want.
(((Spamar)))
Ann, I remember you talking about MIL thinking that S is her husband. I can imagine that is one delusion you want to knock on the head quickly! I'm glad that she enjoyed her outing with you and the girls - such a simple pleasure, so sad that she can't participate more often.
For several years, I have taken Mum to a local garden centre in December, to see the decorations and - in particular - the real reindeer. Last year I found the driving too much but hubbie has said he will take us this year Mum has become less interested in the decorations etc so I don't know how many more years we have (mind you, she will be 90 in March so age will also be a factor).
I have never heard of 'Home Sence' so I am guessing we don't have one locally! TakkyMax (TKMax) is useful sometimes and, as I said, they have a lovely selection of beautifully wrapped soaps. I got a bit upset around my birthday as Mum did not remember the date and, when reminded, gave me £10 whereas she spent quite a lot of time getting me to help her buy something (costing £30) for her friend. She remembered that date alright! It's hard not to believe that she would remember if she really cared, even though I know that is not really the case Something like this allows all the old doubts and insecurities to surface.
Ann, I do hope MIL allowed you to flump, you must get absolutely exhausted at times I came home last night from choir with a terribly sore throat and aching all over. Thankfully, I don't feel as bad today as I thought I would but still not great so have had a duvet day. I am very aware that you rarely get that opportunity.
Grace, you really do deserve to spend Christmas exactly how you want.(((Spamar)))
Ann, I remember you talking about MIL thinking that S is her husband. I can imagine that is one delusion you want to knock on the head quickly! I'm glad that she enjoyed her outing with you and the girls - such a simple pleasure, so sad that she can't participate more often.
For several years, I have taken Mum to a local garden centre in December, to see the decorations and - in particular - the real reindeer. Last year I found the driving too much but hubbie has said he will take us this year
Mum has become less interested in the decorations etc so I don't know how many more years we have (mind you, she will be 90 in March so age will also be a factor).I have never heard of 'Home Sence' so I am guessing we don't have one locally! TakkyMax (TKMax) is useful sometimes and, as I said, they have a lovely selection of beautifully wrapped soaps. I got a bit upset around my birthday as Mum did not remember the date and, when reminded, gave me £10 whereas she spent quite a lot of time getting me to help her buy something (costing £30) for her friend. She remembered that date alright! It's hard not to believe that she would remember if she really cared, even though I know that is not really the case
Something like this allows all the old doubts and insecurities to surface.Ann, I do hope MIL allowed you to flump, you must get absolutely exhausted at times
I came home last night from choir with a terribly sore throat and aching all over. Thankfully, I don't feel as bad today as I thought I would but still not great so have had a duvet day. I am very aware that you rarely get that opportunity.
I know how you feel. My father wanted me to run around buying expensive presents for his friends' grandchildren but didn't give anything to his own. I've never known if that was the illness or a clue as to his real concerns -- when my mum was in a mood with him she always used to say he 'cared more for outsiders than his family.' By which i think she meant he cared over-much about the impression he made on friends and acquaintances and could be very detached from family. So I've never known what was illness and what was his innate self, exposed by illness.
It seems my piece on long-distance caring for him has been accepted. No word on which issue it will make yet.
Morning all,
Fabulous idea - I'd be in on that one Part of the human chain that Essie suggests
Spamar, hope the heart rate has slowed down for you now, and you are feeling OK, hun. Not surprised that the GP didn't know what 'biologistics' are - can't tell you the number of times that I've had to explain to GP's (and various other medically trained peeps) what certain terms used in dementia mean - I guess they can't be experts in every single thing, but so frustrating when you want advice and they just don't know.
Certainly getting into the Christmas spirit here, too, lol! Yesterday morning, youngest and I were wrapping presents (for the dogs, would you believe!) listening to a Christmas playlist and with candles scented with mulled wine and cinnamon burning. The girls then emptied the 'penny jar' - which this year contained over £30! - and headed off to spend it on 'Christmassy bits and bobs', comming back with new baubles in gold, copper and red for the tree, some really sweet fluffy robins to also hang on the tree and with a festive little 'train',which has carriages designed to hold candles. There's still over £10 left, which they have decided that youngest will use to shop for some more 'stuff', they are both quite keen on seeing if she can find a 'Tin soldier' type figure to join the rest of the items that they want to use to decorate around the fireplace
I get what you mean about how you felt over your Mum seeming to be less concerned about your birthday yet going to great lengths over her friends, Slugsta. Mil can be very mixed up about money often now - the current value and cost of things in particular. When she is fretting over what to give her Grandchildren, mostly she talks in terms of 'Will 5 shillings be enough?' , yet where her friends' pressie is concerned, after being told that getting the canvas prints done cost £24, she doesn't bat an eyelid and instead worries that she hasn't spent enough Mostly, I can laugh it off, but sometimes it does niggle that she gets her priorities so mixed up. Hard not to take it personally! I do hope that you and your Mum enjoy the trip to the garden centre to see the decorations - we are not far from the Grosvenor Garden Centre, which is absolutely stunning to visit when its decked out for Christmas - but its also usually packed out, so I'm unsure whether or not to risk taking Mil, she just isn't good with crowds now
Mil slept a good bit of yesterday morning, coming down at 11 for breakfast then just heading back up to bed without a word to anyone I was planning Sunday lunch for about 2pm, and she finally got up at 1, whilst the girls were out with their Dad, doing their shopping. Unfortunately, Mil got up wearing her ET hat Initially, she wasn't too agitated, but just very repetative, asking when she was going home, was OH taking her, should she put her shoes on to go home now, was OH taking her home on the train or was I going to 'lend him' my car? I fudged answering where I could, was gentle about giving excuses when I had to answer directly, but no sooner had I replied then she was off again. By the time OH and the girls got back, she was fixed on the notion that arrangements had been made for her to visit her nephew, P (who lives in Ireland) and no matter how many times we explained that no, she didn't need to put her coat on, that we were not going anywhere 'today', she just kept going on and on with the questions about how she was getting there, and what time was she going and were we coming too? My oldest was lovely , especially, trying to engage Nana in different conversations to change the subject, but not a chance. We managed lunch in relative peace, but as is often the case when Mil finishes her meal, she then stepped up a notch. We had to make the decision that she wouldn't be able to go with OH and I to see oldest off on the train at 4, because she had it fixed in her head that it was her going on a train - to see P - and we felt a trip to the train station would make things worse - so I had to stay home to watch her instead (made more sense for OH to go, as I couldn't help dau with her heavy luggage).
She stepped up a notch after they left, OH was now her husband again, each time I reminded her that he's her son she would say 'That's right' - but then straight back to how the two of them were going back 'home'. She started to get more and more agitated about where he was and when would he be back and asking me over and over to confirm that when he got back that the two of them would be leaving to either go home or go to P's house. She was getting up, peering out the window, fretting about where he was, trying to get upstairs or heading for the dining room to get her coat and shoes, asking where her case was, claiming that her bag had been stolen and panicking because 'The ferry/train tickets' were in it. I tried telling her that the ferry was cancelled - as per LadyA's suggestion - due to the awful wind and rain that we had yesterday. Nope, she instantly switched to them travelling by train and even insisted that I'd 'promised' to lend my car for them to drive there. When I pointed out that P lives in Ireland, she started to insist that he had moved over to England - years ago! A flipping answer for everything!
By the time OH and youngest got back, I was practically sitting on top of her in the lounge to try and stop her frantic searches for coat, case, shoes and bag. OH wasn't even properly in through the front door before she was stood right in front of him and flapping on about leaving. OH spoke to her very firmly and suggested she either calm down or go to her room - calm was beyond her at this point, I think, so he escorted her upstairs, with a drink and put her TV on, whilst she ranted on making a lot of uncomplimentary remarks about me 'interfering and stopping them leaving'!. She also asked OH if he wanted a divorce, being as he was clearly now carrying on with me! We had perhaps 30 minutes of peace, but then she was off again. OH - knowing I wasn't feeling the best - tried sitting with her in the dining room, but after about 40 minutes, he was just battered from the nagging and constant delusions I made her a light tea and a cuppa, hoping that would distract, at about 6pm - not a chance. OH sent her back upstairs afterwards. And she came back down again after about 15 minutes and was begging me to help her find her money so she could leave, insisting that P was expecting her and that I couldn't keep her prisoner. OH again marched her upstairs, this time really cross with her as she was now being quite nasty towards me. All quiet afterwards, I took her meds up at 9 - and at 10.30, back down she came, this time insisting that I hadn't given her the sleeping tablet she needs. (I had - but can't say that zopiclone is much use at the moment!). OH got her back upstairs, but then at just before 11 when we were heading to bed, she tried to get back downstairs, insisting it was morning and that she wanted her breakfast!
So the much looked-forward to 'flumping' didn't really happen at all, sadly. I shouldn't have said anything - mentioning it probably jinxed it!
Another foul day here, weatherwise, so once I've got Mil off to day care, whatever I decide to do, ging out won't be part of it, lol! Its lashing it down (so I'm expecting multiple requests to lend Mil a brolley so she doesn't get soaked whilst waiting for her bus/train ) and staying in seems to best option today!
Hope you all have a good day xxxx
Am I the only person who is thinking that Grace should take this special opportunity to raid her MIL's house while she is away over Christmas? Take back all your stuff, Grace; if you can find it!
Fabulous idea - I'd be in on that one
Part of the human chain that Essie suggests Spamar, hope the heart rate has slowed down for you now, and you are feeling OK, hun. Not surprised that the GP didn't know what 'biologistics' are - can't tell you the number of times that I've had to explain to GP's (and various other medically trained peeps) what certain terms used in dementia mean - I guess they can't be experts in every single thing, but so frustrating when you want advice and they just don't know.
Certainly getting into the Christmas spirit here, too, lol! Yesterday morning, youngest and I were wrapping presents (for the dogs, would you believe!) listening to a Christmas playlist and with candles scented with mulled wine and cinnamon burning. The girls then emptied the 'penny jar' - which this year contained over £30! - and headed off to spend it on 'Christmassy bits and bobs', comming back with new baubles in gold, copper and red for the tree, some really sweet fluffy robins to also hang on the tree and with a festive little 'train',which has carriages designed to hold candles. There's still over £10 left, which they have decided that youngest will use to shop for some more 'stuff', they are both quite keen on seeing if she can find a 'Tin soldier' type figure to join the rest of the items that they want to use to decorate around the fireplace
I get what you mean about how you felt over your Mum seeming to be less concerned about your birthday yet going to great lengths over her friends, Slugsta. Mil can be very mixed up about money often now - the current value and cost of things in particular. When she is fretting over what to give her Grandchildren, mostly she talks in terms of 'Will 5 shillings be enough?' , yet where her friends' pressie is concerned, after being told that getting the canvas prints done cost £24, she doesn't bat an eyelid and instead worries that she hasn't spent enough
Mostly, I can laugh it off, but sometimes it does niggle that she gets her priorities so mixed up. Hard not to take it personally! I do hope that you and your Mum enjoy the trip to the garden centre to see the decorations - we are not far from the Grosvenor Garden Centre, which is absolutely stunning to visit when its decked out for Christmas - but its also usually packed out, so I'm unsure whether or not to risk taking Mil, she just isn't good with crowds now Mil slept a good bit of yesterday morning, coming down at 11 for breakfast then just heading back up to bed without a word to anyone
I was planning Sunday lunch for about 2pm, and she finally got up at 1, whilst the girls were out with their Dad, doing their shopping. Unfortunately, Mil got up wearing her ET hat Initially, she wasn't too agitated, but just very repetative, asking when she was going home, was OH taking her, should she put her shoes on to go home now, was OH taking her home on the train or was I going to 'lend him' my car? I fudged answering where I could, was gentle about giving excuses when I had to answer directly, but no sooner had I replied then she was off again. By the time OH and the girls got back, she was fixed on the notion that arrangements had been made for her to visit her nephew, P (who lives in Ireland) and no matter how many times we explained that no, she didn't need to put her coat on, that we were not going anywhere 'today', she just kept going on and on with the questions about how she was getting there, and what time was she going and were we coming too? My oldest was lovely , especially, trying to engage Nana in different conversations to change the subject, but not a chance. We managed lunch in relative peace, but as is often the case when Mil finishes her meal, she then stepped up a notch. We had to make the decision that she wouldn't be able to go with OH and I to see oldest off on the train at 4, because she had it fixed in her head that it was her going on a train - to see P - and we felt a trip to the train station would make things worse - so I had to stay home to watch her instead (made more sense for OH to go, as I couldn't help dau with her heavy luggage). She stepped up a notch after they left, OH was now her husband again, each time I reminded her that he's her son she would say 'That's right' - but then straight back to how the two of them were going back 'home'. She started to get more and more agitated about where he was and when would he be back and asking me over and over to confirm that when he got back that the two of them would be leaving to either go home or go to P's house. She was getting up, peering out the window, fretting about where he was, trying to get upstairs or heading for the dining room to get her coat and shoes, asking where her case was, claiming that her bag had been stolen and panicking because 'The ferry/train tickets' were in it. I tried telling her that the ferry was cancelled - as per LadyA's suggestion - due to the awful wind and rain that we had yesterday. Nope, she instantly switched to them travelling by train and even insisted that I'd 'promised' to lend my car for them to drive there. When I pointed out that P lives in Ireland, she started to insist that he had moved over to England - years ago! A flipping answer for everything!
By the time OH and youngest got back, I was practically sitting on top of her in the lounge to try and stop her frantic searches for coat, case, shoes and bag. OH wasn't even properly in through the front door before she was stood right in front of him and flapping on about leaving. OH spoke to her very firmly and suggested she either calm down or go to her room - calm was beyond her at this point, I think, so he escorted her upstairs, with a drink and put her TV on, whilst she ranted on making a lot of uncomplimentary remarks about me 'interfering and stopping them leaving'!. She also asked OH if he wanted a divorce, being as he was clearly now carrying on with me! We had perhaps 30 minutes of peace, but then she was off again. OH - knowing I wasn't feeling the best - tried sitting with her in the dining room, but after about 40 minutes, he was just battered from the nagging and constant delusions
I made her a light tea and a cuppa, hoping that would distract, at about 6pm - not a chance. OH sent her back upstairs afterwards. And she came back down again after about 15 minutes and was begging me to help her find her money so she could leave, insisting that P was expecting her and that I couldn't keep her prisoner. OH again marched her upstairs, this time really cross with her as she was now being quite nasty towards me. All quiet afterwards, I took her meds up at 9 - and at 10.30, back down she came, this time insisting that I hadn't given her the sleeping tablet she needs. (I had - but can't say that zopiclone is much use at the moment!). OH got her back upstairs, but then at just before 11 when we were heading to bed, she tried to get back downstairs, insisting it was morning and that she wanted her breakfast!So the much looked-forward to 'flumping' didn't really happen at all, sadly. I shouldn't have said anything - mentioning it probably jinxed it!
Another foul day here, weatherwise, so once I've got Mil off to day care, whatever I decide to do, ging out won't be part of it, lol! Its lashing it down (so I'm expecting multiple requests to lend Mil a brolley so she doesn't get soaked whilst waiting for her bus/train
) and staying in seems to best option today!Hope you all have a good day xxxx
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Hey there Flumpy Ann why not have one today. Maureen went to sleep thinking she was going to ask the G P if she could go back to live with her parents. Now if he can fix that my estimation of his powers will go up no end. Might ask him if he can help the Sky Blues get back into the Premiership next season!
Echo that - it's a duvet day.
GL - re: the premiership - aren't you getting ahead of yourself?
Not with Mogga at the helm and with the powers of the G P anything is possible.
Morning All....
You have made me smile with all your comments about raiding MiLs over Christmas.
The only things left to repatriate (that I am aware of) that she has 'taken' and I REALLY WANT BACK are my
Waterford Crystal glasses. They are / were special to me and my husband.
But, they are sat in a small locked cabinet of MiLs... taunting me every time I see them.
No idea where the key is, not in any of the usual hiding places...
I don't think the cabinet has been open in months +++
I didn't know they were missing, until I saw them in MiL cabinet, and now I am snookered.
I've even tried to buy 'keys' off the A internet that look like they should work, but they do not.
Flippin 'eck.... the subterfuge I go through in retrieving my things from MiL
the guilt I feel in getting my own things back, often involving my niece and children as a distraction ...
I should not feel guilty in getting my own things back but I do... why on earth is this?
I'm sure there are things she has that are mine, but I wont really know until I go to look for them.
Will post later about my Christmas plans, and a new 'back up' plan.
Take care , wrap up warm if you are going out .
You have made me smile with all your comments about raiding MiLs over Christmas.
The only things left to repatriate (that I am aware of) that she has 'taken' and I REALLY WANT BACK are my
Waterford Crystal glasses. They are / were special to me and my husband.
But, they are sat in a small locked cabinet of MiLs... taunting me every time I see them.
No idea where the key is, not in any of the usual hiding places...
I don't think the cabinet has been open in months +++
I didn't know they were missing, until I saw them in MiL cabinet, and now I am snookered.
I've even tried to buy 'keys' off the A internet that look like they should work, but they do not.
Flippin 'eck.... the subterfuge I go through in retrieving my things from MiL
the guilt I feel in getting my own things back, often involving my niece and children as a distraction ...
I should not feel guilty in getting my own things back but I do... why on earth is this?
I'm sure there are things she has that are mine, but I wont really know until I go to look for them.
Will post later about my Christmas plans, and a new 'back up' plan.
Take care , wrap up warm if you are going out .
Never mind the boy Craig, if Pierce Brosnan appears he is mine
(((Ann))) I am so sorry that you didn't get a moment's peace, never mind a Flump Day
Grace, I am so sorry about your crystal glasses. I do hope you manage to get them back without bloodshed!
(((Ann))) I am so sorry that you didn't get a moment's peace, never mind a Flump Day
Grace, I am so sorry about your crystal glasses. I do hope you manage to get them back without bloodshed!
Grace can you persuade a friendly locksmith to lend you a set of those special keys they show in all detective series on the tv. They seem to insert them in a lock, jiggle them about for a moment and hey presto lock is undone.
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Skeleton keys I think you mean but maybe wrong.
Have you looked in any ornaments like jugs etc for the key?
Morning all,
Grace, are your Mils family aware that she has some of your possessions? I think I would be very tempted to tell them and let them know that you would like the items back - I'd do it by email or letter, so you have a record. Because if there comes a crisis with your Mil, and that does seem likely, and she ends up in hospital and not able to go back to her home for example, I can see things like the waterford glasses being 'claimed' by other members of the family, and then they will be gone for good I'd hate you to lose things like that permenently, hun xxx
Usual type of morning with Mil yesterday - found myself thinking that its a bit like wading through treacle, getting her washed and dressed and sorted for day care most days. I constantly have to re-direct her, every step of each task we have to get through. It wasn't helped yesterday as she started the day with a wet bed - which she of course insisted was 'sweat' - and she was so taken up with insisting that it was OK, it would dry and be fine and no the bedding didn't need changing for a just 'bit of sweat' that the simple steps of putting on slippers and dressing gown to go to the bathroom took forever. I am trying so hard to let her do as much for herself as is possible, but oh boy - it makes for a long drawn out process to get her clean, dressed and downstairs. We had the usual fretting over 'Is it raining, I don't have brolly, can you lend me money, I'll get soaked waiting for the bus' and then the inevitable 'I'll just get my coat', before I was able to wave her good bye.
I managed about 2 hours of 'flumping' yesterday This cold is lingering, though no way as bad as the last lurgy I picked up, and I'm finding I'm aching badly with it. By 1.30pm, I had everything done that had to be done - including scrubbing down Mil's nattresses and pillows and floorm, as I was sure the smell of wee was lngering, then making up the bed and so on - so I curled up on the sofa with a book till just before dau came home.
Horrendous weather when I went to pick Mil up, absolutely lashing it down and a lot of mini floods on the roads. Once again, I got to DC to find that Mil had refused to use her frame all day - I'm getting the impression that whilst they are afraid of her falling, trying to make her use the frame is actually causing them even more grief and they have more or less given up. I'm honestly not sure which way to go on that one - she can walk unaided, but then she will start the 'shuffle' that throws her off balance and that's when she stumbles and falls. The more worked up she gets (and every day she starts the 'home' business for them, sometimes all day) , the more she shuffles, the more likely she is to fall - but also the more she will also becomes adamant that she will not use the frame, that it isn't hers, etc. I get the impression that DC are fed up with the whole frame business, and suspect that they have more or less stopped insisting that she use it. I get where they are coming from - but a bit of me thinks that if she falls and hurts herself, its OH and I that will have to mainly deal with any repercussions
Anyway, she was agitated when I arrived, had refused (they said) to use the frame at all, had been constantly pacing - and had once again put her handbag in some 'safe' place and it now couldn't be found. As she was getting into her coat, the senior and I were just chatting, and Mil started to rudely interrupt, demanding 'Can we go now?'. As we turned to leave the senior said to her 'See you tomorrow' and Mil went into a panic about what time tomorrow? Both the senior and another staff told her that she would be picked up as usual, but Mil rambled on about how she doesn't 'come here' in the mornings. I repeated what the staff were saying and got such a rude mouthful about interfering and minding my own business. And it really was rude, and quite nasty As we got outside she suddenly realised she didn't have her handbag, I explained it was lost but the 'girls' would be looking for it - and Mil straight into accusations that they had stolen it
In the car, and she suddenly started to tell me that she had 'every right' to be 'p****d off' at me, after what I had done She insisted that she had phoned me 3 times that morning, had left me mesages and that I hadn't called her back even once, even though she had 'urgently' needed to speak to me - mind you, she couldn't remember what the 'urgency' was. I reminded her that the phones in DC could only take incoming calls (a fiction the staff all keep up, as a reply to frequent demands to phone me, OH, her parents, her husband, etc, etc) and she switched to insisting that she had phoned me from her house. I remininded her that her house was sold months ago. I added that I'd been in all day and the phone hadn't rung. Completely ignoring that, she went on and on about how rude I was not to answer or ring her back, getting proper worked up. I stopped the car and did the all too familiar lecture about the weather conditions and the traffic and how she could cause an accident, emphasising how badly she could be hurt - peace, at last!
At home, we had sundry odd delusions - looking for her 'phone book', the box of chocolates the girls at work had given her and which were 'just here a minute ago', the 'box thing with the buttons in' and at times looking for her bag which she remained convinced had been stoloen - only now she claimed to have had about £100 in her purse, to 'buy those curtains' - but thank goodness, she gradually wound down and we ended up having a quite calm evening, with her heading off to bed at just after 9. And for once, no back downstairs an hour or two later!
She's been up twice since 6a.m., and told it's 'too early, the kitchen isn't open' each time. Hoping she will stay put now, whilst dau and OH get up and ready for school and work.
Got to hit the supermarket this morning, hoping to pick up one or two of the 3 remaining pressies I have to buy while I'm out, and to also add to the 'Christmas cupboard' goodies I've amassed so far. I've also got to phone and book Mil in for overnight respite, for oldests graduation on the 17th of this month - such an odd time of year for a grad ceremony!
Hope you all manage to have a good day xxxx
Grace, are your Mils family aware that she has some of your possessions? I think I would be very tempted to tell them and let them know that you would like the items back - I'd do it by email or letter, so you have a record. Because if there comes a crisis with your Mil, and that does seem likely, and she ends up in hospital and not able to go back to her home for example, I can see things like the waterford glasses being 'claimed' by other members of the family, and then they will be gone for good
I'd hate you to lose things like that permenently, hun xxxUsual type of morning with Mil yesterday - found myself thinking that its a bit like wading through treacle, getting her washed and dressed and sorted for day care most days. I constantly have to re-direct her, every step of each task we have to get through. It wasn't helped yesterday as she started the day with a wet bed - which she of course insisted was 'sweat' - and she was so taken up with insisting that it was OK, it would dry and be fine and no the bedding didn't need changing for a just 'bit of sweat' that the simple steps of putting on slippers and dressing gown to go to the bathroom took forever. I am trying so hard to let her do as much for herself as is possible, but oh boy - it makes for a long drawn out process to get her clean, dressed and downstairs. We had the usual fretting over 'Is it raining, I don't have brolly, can you lend me money, I'll get soaked waiting for the bus' and then the inevitable 'I'll just get my coat', before I was able to wave her good bye.
I managed about 2 hours of 'flumping' yesterday
This cold is lingering, though no way as bad as the last lurgy I picked up, and I'm finding I'm aching badly with it. By 1.30pm, I had everything done that had to be done - including scrubbing down Mil's nattresses and pillows and floorm, as I was sure the smell of wee was lngering, then making up the bed and so on - so I curled up on the sofa with a book till just before dau came home.Horrendous weather when I went to pick Mil up, absolutely lashing it down and a lot of mini floods on the roads. Once again, I got to DC to find that Mil had refused to use her frame all day - I'm getting the impression that whilst they are afraid of her falling, trying to make her use the frame is actually causing them even more grief and they have more or less given up. I'm honestly not sure which way to go on that one - she can walk unaided, but then she will start the 'shuffle' that throws her off balance and that's when she stumbles and falls. The more worked up she gets (and every day she starts the 'home' business for them, sometimes all day) , the more she shuffles, the more likely she is to fall - but also the more she will also becomes adamant that she will not use the frame, that it isn't hers, etc. I get the impression that DC are fed up with the whole frame business, and suspect that they have more or less stopped insisting that she use it. I get where they are coming from - but a bit of me thinks that if she falls and hurts herself, its OH and I that will have to mainly deal with any repercussions
Anyway, she was agitated when I arrived, had refused (they said) to use the frame at all, had been constantly pacing - and had once again put her handbag in some 'safe' place and it now couldn't be found. As she was getting into her coat, the senior and I were just chatting, and Mil started to rudely interrupt, demanding 'Can we go now?'. As we turned to leave the senior said to her 'See you tomorrow' and Mil went into a panic about what time tomorrow? Both the senior and another staff told her that she would be picked up as usual, but Mil rambled on about how she doesn't 'come here' in the mornings. I repeated what the staff were saying and got such a rude mouthful about interfering and minding my own business. And it really was rude, and quite nasty
As we got outside she suddenly realised she didn't have her handbag, I explained it was lost but the 'girls' would be looking for it - and Mil straight into accusations that they had stolen it In the car, and she suddenly started to tell me that she had 'every right' to be 'p****d off' at me, after what I had done
She insisted that she had phoned me 3 times that morning, had left me mesages and that I hadn't called her back even once, even though she had 'urgently' needed to speak to me - mind you, she couldn't remember what the 'urgency' was. I reminded her that the phones in DC could only take incoming calls (a fiction the staff all keep up, as a reply to frequent demands to phone me, OH, her parents, her husband, etc, etc) and she switched to insisting that she had phoned me from her house. I remininded her that her house was sold months ago. I added that I'd been in all day and the phone hadn't rung. Completely ignoring that, she went on and on about how rude I was not to answer or ring her back, getting proper worked up. I stopped the car and did the all too familiar lecture about the weather conditions and the traffic and how she could cause an accident, emphasising how badly she could be hurt - peace, at last!At home, we had sundry odd delusions - looking for her 'phone book', the box of chocolates the girls at work had given her and which were 'just here a minute ago', the 'box thing with the buttons in' and at times looking for her bag which she remained convinced had been stoloen - only now she claimed to have had about £100 in her purse, to 'buy those curtains' - but thank goodness, she gradually wound down and we ended up having a quite calm evening, with her heading off to bed at just after 9. And for once, no back downstairs an hour or two later!
She's been up twice since 6a.m., and told it's 'too early, the kitchen isn't open' each time. Hoping she will stay put now, whilst dau and OH get up and ready for school and work.
Got to hit the supermarket this morning, hoping to pick up one or two of the 3 remaining pressies I have to buy while I'm out, and to also add to the 'Christmas cupboard' goodies I've amassed so far. I've also got to phone and book Mil in for overnight respite, for oldests graduation on the 17th of this month - such an odd time of year for a grad ceremony!
Hope you all manage to have a good day xxxx
Just heard that a close friend of mine, a couple of years younger than me, has pancreatic cancer. It's only taken 3 weeks to diagnose, maybe it's been caught early? That's the way to live longer. The last person I knew with it was dead in 4 months!
At least it's shoved aside any morbid thoughts over the fact it would have been OHs birthday tomorrow.
Devastated.
Had a very insistent phone call yesterday that they wanted to talk to OH. A very well know charity, whose DD I cancelled when he went into care home. When they wouldn't take no for an answer, I said OK, you can talk to his ashes if you like! She briefly apologised and put the phone down.
At least it's shoved aside any morbid thoughts over the fact it would have been OHs birthday tomorrow.
Devastated.
Had a very insistent phone call yesterday that they wanted to talk to OH. A very well know charity, whose DD I cancelled when he went into care home. When they wouldn't take no for an answer, I said OK, you can talk to his ashes if you like! She briefly apologised and put the phone down.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Spamar - got my fingers crossed that it has been caught early enough to make a big difference to her x And will be thinking of you tomorrow - its an oft repeated phrase, but I think that there is a lot of truth in that the first anniversaries are so hard after bereavement - sending you {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} xxxx
As for the phone call - why are people so damn insinsitive? I well remember Mil being reduced to tears by a similar call after her husband died - I'm so sorry you had to deal with that xxxx
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