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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,537
0
North West
I confess my biggest fear right now is misisng my mums passing.....she could so easily go in a flash thats how frail she now is, and for now I only very much think of being there for her....and that is all I can do now, there is nothing much else that is left and I am sure as hell after the experience with my sister that I will be there -whatever it takes
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,537
0
North West
It's beautiful here too. Saturday is my photo-taking day (work stuff) but it makes my back ache and the sunshine is beckoning. Compost has just arrived so I could plant up some pots/tubs instead...And there's a bottle of rosé lurking in the fridge...

I know you deserve a day off (or several) - just trying to justify it for myself!
I did drink the frizzante in the end and and went through a range of emotions, listening to music and just generally haveing a day of nothingness.....heads a bit fuzzy today though🥴
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,537
0
North West
A day off and despite my saying no to being the cook for our team bbq on the 18th July I somehow seem to have been roped in to doing it -by that I mean being the cook. So I have now been left to invent a menu, which today I have completed and already ordered two whole sides of pork belly bone in and deboned and then cut into three and rubbed with the seasoning and then frozen ready for braising the day before before finsishing on the bbq, I have also today trialled a new recipe I have not done before and it was a success so that is now the second meat on the menu....however, due to unforseen circumstances I seem to have the bbq sauce and also trces of charcoal all over me! I just don't know how that happened, but the carpet will wash:oops:
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,537
0
North West
Just to say my post of my mum has been moved to the Tea Room so that its not on the public platform, TP members can view it there without it being overtly public
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
909
0
Hi @Palerider, sorry I've not been around in the last few months. I've missed TP - I'm OK now. Its a tiring and emensly sad situation. You've been with Mum from the start, to the end.

Pete
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,537
0
North West
Hi @Palerider, sorry I've not been around in the last few months. I've missed TP - I'm OK now. Its a tiring and emensly sad situation. You've been with Mum from the start, to the end.

Pete
Hi @Pete1 -I hope your ok now?

Yes, I always thought what the future would hold, but never once thought it would be like it is. But I have insight as many of us do, and that means an awful lot.

Just waiting for my doctoral interview which is this morning at 10:30 -its been done via Teams, so I'm sat at home willing the time to hurry up 😃
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,537
0
North West
How do you think it went?
I try not to dwell on such things -but that said it was OK, some things I could have answered better and others I was clear on. I was honest as well in that the main question and aims are yet to be refined more, but thats the point of the first year anyway -just hope I seemed motivated enough, because that's what they are looking for, someone who will complete the project
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,537
0
North West
A weird few weeks if I am honest. But today I found out the hairdresser is finally allowed back into mums care home -hurrah, poor mum is desperate to get a cut, though she won't tolerate a perm and set as she used to.

Today I had a gardner round to cut the front hedge of my terrace cottage, the neighbours were of course delighted as they got their sides cut for free -I have yet to receive a thank you! Anyway the gardner and his partner (life partner and work buddy) asked for a brew. I of course obliged and then worried if I had any tea in the house -it was OK I had a box of Red Label from Sainsbury's, bought for my sister when she visited, but alas no more. Anyway as they finished up I went out and we chatted for about 30 mins and within a few minutes we got onto the topic of dementia (which started as they asked why I moved here) and both our stories came out, how I ended up where I am and how the gardner (and partner) has ended up with his dad in an EMI unit -its a small world indeed!! We had a long chat about our experiences and they both agreed that no one knows or gets what its like to walk this path. I'm glad we had the chat, there were things they didn't know and things they needed to think about. Interestingly we both talked about the guilt we feel but also how we think we are ten steps ahead with dementia, when in fact by the time we recognise ensuing difficulties, we are already ten steps behind. I have booked them again towards the end of August, so we will catch up.
 

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