Siblings removing valuables from Mother with Vascular Dementia
- Thread starter Suecj
- Start date
Hello @Suecj , welcome to the group. I'm sorry you are upset by the actions of your siblings.
Have you asked them calmly why they have removed the valuables? You don't say what the valuables are but did they do it because they thought they may get broken or lost or that mum may give them away?
Sadly, people with dementia are prone to hiding things and not knowing what they have done with them. Are carers going in and did your siblings feel that the valuables might lead to a theft temptation or damaged by cleaners?
Before you fall out with siblings over this please try and find out what they have to say.
Incidentally my oh has taken a shine to his shaver. He tends to carry it around in his pocket . At the moment it is missing, His mobility is extremely poor so it can't be far but I can't find where he has put it and he now has three days growth on his face. Looks like I'm going to have to buy another. 😂
Have you asked them calmly why they have removed the valuables? You don't say what the valuables are but did they do it because they thought they may get broken or lost or that mum may give them away?
Sadly, people with dementia are prone to hiding things and not knowing what they have done with them. Are carers going in and did your siblings feel that the valuables might lead to a theft temptation or damaged by cleaners?
Before you fall out with siblings over this please try and find out what they have to say.
Incidentally my oh has taken a shine to his shaver. He tends to carry it around in his pocket . At the moment it is missing, His mobility is extremely poor so it can't be far but I can't find where he has put it and he now has three days growth on his face. Looks like I'm going to have to buy another. 😂
I agree, find out why they have removed them.
My mum hid a lot of important/valuable items and when I cleared her bungalow I found things hidden in all sorts of strange places. Other things that I would like to have kept I never found at all and I think she must have thrown them out. It would have been better if I could have removed them for safe keeping
My mum hid a lot of important/valuable items and when I cleared her bungalow I found things hidden in all sorts of strange places. Other things that I would like to have kept I never found at all and I think she must have thrown them out. It would have been better if I could have removed them for safe keeping
That is a good point if it's your mum that is saying that your siblings have taken things @Suecj
My mum used to think that people were coming in and taking things, so she hid them - especially items that she knew were important or valuable - then she forgot what she had done, couldn't find them and was convinced that someone had come in and taken them........
I found a lot of it all later, in some very strange places
Both my granny and mother in law used to say that people had taken things, and now mum has started saying that as well , including accusing me of taking her nighties (I take them for washing and none have gone missing).
She also hides things, which is probably what’s happened to the nighties and a few other things. And mother in law persistently threw away lots of things, including very sadly all the family photos.
To add to the confusion, because we worry that items may get lost or thrown away, we do remove some things for safe keeping, mainly family documents and old photos.
It’s a difficult and sad situation but maybe try to establish the truth if you can x
She also hides things, which is probably what’s happened to the nighties and a few other things. And mother in law persistently threw away lots of things, including very sadly all the family photos.
To add to the confusion, because we worry that items may get lost or thrown away, we do remove some things for safe keeping, mainly family documents and old photos.
It’s a difficult and sad situation but maybe try to establish the truth if you can x
Be careful with valuables. When dad went on respite I stupidly let him take his watch. Massive sentimental value and worth a bit as well. Care home can't find it and they're not even bothering to show any willingness to find it. It's definitely been stolen because it's been 5 months now. Everything he had went missing, clothes, wallet and cash, TV remote control, jacket, toiletries, mobile phone etc. all he came home with was 1 pair of mismatched pjs, 2 jumpers, 1 pair of undies (they didn't tell me he'd become doubly incontinent, I found that out myself the following morning)and his slippers. Care home absolutely do not give a monkeys and he paid £1000 a week for that privilege x
@TMH ,have you tried these labels ?https://www.nametags4u.co.uk/care-and-nursing-homes
Everything needs labels,even glasses
and hearing aids, when going in a home as other residents can take them or things get lost in the laundry system.
PWD are also prone to hiding things as well.
I haven't used a home yet for my OH but I'm in the process of ordering theses tags as the link was posted recently . I'm having them on standby in case he needs them .x
