Two months today Nick has been living in the CH
As I have said the experience and reality of the CH did not align with my expectations.
Last night, a few family and friends gathered outside at the home of a couple who have hosted our American Thanksgiving potluck feast for the last 25 years. Only 10 people allowed to gather outside at a private home and we had beverages outside under the half moonlight, for about one hour and 10 minutes. We all brought our usual specialties, I made the pumpkin and pecan pies. I felt very outside the group, a bit of an alien, somehow. I am sure it is just me. The everything was divided up and we each took the feast to our own homes for eating. I ate with my son and my daughter's little family. So, that was lovely.
But everything celebratory seems odd and strange without Nick, he is alive but not a part of life. I am not sure how to deal with it. It feels rather false to be joyful without him especially while it does not seem possible that he will have any joy again. Many of on TP wrote and share about the issues of going on with our life. I really thought I had always done this over the last years. Last year Nick did not attend this celebration because of incontinence issues, and I left early last year as it was painful. It is different each holiday wondering what we are to do.
What do you do when your OH is in a CH? Unless he is vastly improved by Christmas there is no way he can come to a Christmas feast with the children and grandchildren even the current scaled back version....but perhaps he will be able too.. I cannot imagine. Do some of you just spend the day at the CH with your OH?
As I have said the experience and reality of the CH did not align with my expectations.
Last night, a few family and friends gathered outside at the home of a couple who have hosted our American Thanksgiving potluck feast for the last 25 years. Only 10 people allowed to gather outside at a private home and we had beverages outside under the half moonlight, for about one hour and 10 minutes. We all brought our usual specialties, I made the pumpkin and pecan pies. I felt very outside the group, a bit of an alien, somehow. I am sure it is just me. The everything was divided up and we each took the feast to our own homes for eating. I ate with my son and my daughter's little family. So, that was lovely.
But everything celebratory seems odd and strange without Nick, he is alive but not a part of life. I am not sure how to deal with it. It feels rather false to be joyful without him especially while it does not seem possible that he will have any joy again. Many of on TP wrote and share about the issues of going on with our life. I really thought I had always done this over the last years. Last year Nick did not attend this celebration because of incontinence issues, and I left early last year as it was painful. It is different each holiday wondering what we are to do.
What do you do when your OH is in a CH? Unless he is vastly improved by Christmas there is no way he can come to a Christmas feast with the children and grandchildren even the current scaled back version....but perhaps he will be able too.. I cannot imagine. Do some of you just spend the day at the CH with your OH?