I already know the answer to this as I have read other similar posts. I cant get away from feeling selfish. looking to the future I just feel 'poor me' how am I gonna cope. I know from reading here that others have felt like this but it doesn't make the feeling go away. mum was diagnosed a few days ago and I feel overwhelmed. I should be feeling sorry for her as she is the one suffering. she has forgotten about the diagnosis, but knows things aren't right. im just seeing a big black hole ahead, not knowing from one day to the next how the day will be, will mam be happy or sad, feel I cant plan anything. damn this horrible disease.
selfish ??
- Thread starter spuddle
- Start date
thanks grannieG, I guess you have hit the nail on the head.... 'responsibilities'. I think in a way, although im nearly 50, I have always felt like the 'child' and its now feeling topsy turvy.. I suppose it could be about time to 'grow up'. daft eh!
Not daft at all spuddle, daunting. Your whole life will be changing.
It`s tough but there`s little we can do but get on with it and hope we cope.
I hope Talking Point and the support you will get from other members, who either have been in similar shoes or still are, will help.
It saw me through. I dread to think where I would have been without it.
It`s tough but there`s little we can do but get on with it and hope we cope.
I hope Talking Point and the support you will get from other members, who either have been in similar shoes or still are, will help.
It saw me through. I dread to think where I would have been without it.
I know just what you mean Spuddle - we're all our parents' children and it's a peculiar relationship that we treasure and take for granted in equal measure so when something comes along to cause us to reassess the relationship it's a real jolt. But we 'muddle' through and find a way.
I'm in my 50s and if I'm honest resent that I now can't go to my parents for help as I always used to - but they gave me so much I am more than willing to give back as much as I can and it's another natural stage in life. At least I am able to support him.
But I also think we are allowed some selfishness - if you don't think of yourself and look after yourself then you will fold and be no good to man nor beast.
So, take your time with things. Your mum is still the mum and woman she was a few days or weeks ago, you just now have some insight into the future you didn't have then. Visit TP whenever you want, and stay away whenever you want - it's a wonderfully informative, friendly and comforting place to be.
But also find someone to have a natter with and blow off steam - you can't keep it all to yourself. So chat with a good friend or join a carers group, sometimes it's easier to talk to a knowledgeable 'stranger'. And remember that you are you and have every right to set time aside for whatever makes you content.
Now I'll just take a bit of my own good advice and get ready to go out with a friend who's lived through all this and is happy to talk about this, that and everything else. The vacuuming can wait.
I'm in my 50s and if I'm honest resent that I now can't go to my parents for help as I always used to - but they gave me so much I am more than willing to give back as much as I can and it's another natural stage in life. At least I am able to support him.
But I also think we are allowed some selfishness - if you don't think of yourself and look after yourself then you will fold and be no good to man nor beast.
So, take your time with things. Your mum is still the mum and woman she was a few days or weeks ago, you just now have some insight into the future you didn't have then. Visit TP whenever you want, and stay away whenever you want - it's a wonderfully informative, friendly and comforting place to be.
But also find someone to have a natter with and blow off steam - you can't keep it all to yourself. So chat with a good friend or join a carers group, sometimes it's easier to talk to a knowledgeable 'stranger'. And remember that you are you and have every right to set time aside for whatever makes you content.
Now I'll just take a bit of my own good advice and get ready to go out with a friend who's lived through all this and is happy to talk about this, that and everything else. The vacuuming can wait.
The greatest fear is fear itself. You will get through this, you will laugh, you will cry, there is nothing to be afraid of.
Spuddle totally understand how you feel. Sometimes I find it helps me if I say to myself 'this is just life' not good, not bad, just life and I have to just go with it, like, there is no rule anywhere that says it is going to be a ball, it is just life and life and there will be enjoyable bits to life and unpleasant bits tool Don't know if that makes sense. X
