Second post. No diagnosis, just worried about my husband.

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
Hi. I have posted once before but just needed to get this off my mind.
This is in relation to my 58 year old husband. I had concerns about 18 months ago and husband had a private neurologist appointment, followed by an MRI and was given the all clear.
SORRY this is so long.
Concerns:
Memory not really affected. Only had one time a couple of days ago where my husband hadn’t known who I was talking about when I told him something about our ex son in law.
  • Seems more mellow than has been most our 35 years together.
  • Despite the above though, does not handle a situation well - I.e when our dog had to go to the animal hospital recently, I had to calm him, when I could on our own. He was quite outspoken and exaggerating to me in front of them that he could be there for years and would also cost thousands (was quite expensive though ha). He dotes on our dog by the way as well.
  • He lacks empathy. I’ve suffered a recent unexpected and difficult bereavement. He would have always taken me under his wing and looked after me. He has felt quite empty (although try’s if prompted).
  • He gets a bit OCD about some things. Walks at certain times and preferred routes. He had been bringing me a coffee and breakfast anytime from 5.30am on a weekend (he gets up early). I did manage to stop this after a few months but he’s still hovering around the bedroom from about 7.30am to see if I am planning a walk with him or should he go alone. I’ve tried to say that we work all week and don’t need to be out so early but he’s anxious to go.
  • Watches YouTube for hours - either a handful of people that he like who video walking around towns (he will watch for hours) and obsessively, American news (mainly Fox and pro republican for whatever reason). Not saying that is right or wrong but it’s quite unusual for him and obsessive.
  • Practical things:
  • He struggles with planning and problem solving now. He has always been good at diy for example - but struggles now if for example there were a cut needed in tiles or wallpaper, he wouldn’t work it out without me (very unlike him over the years).
  • Won’t volunteer himself any longer for any help with diy etc with our daughters’ like he would have done over the years.
  • I’d recently asked if had given our dog his insulin, he felt like he had and hadn’t. I checked the sharps bin and at the top was a needle, still with the insulin in.
  • Biggest impact at the moment:
  • He was made redundant last year. Has always been in engineering and a manager for many years. Could not grasp the new role offered so took the redundancy. In a new job now for 4 months, with (we thought) less demands, still in engineering. He is really struggling and making lots of mistakes (to the point of being shouted at on a number of occasions and told today that he isn’t performing as they had hoped). He is making mistakes on things like measuring and inputting dates and data onto the computer. He had to use his phone a few weeks ago (he told me), to add one onto another four digit number. His probation is up in about a month and for the first time ever in his working life, he may be finished for not being ‘good enough’. He has always done so well, I just don’t know what’s happening.
  • He says he would be fine at work if it wasn’t for the guy training him, who he says is watching over him and losing it with him. Even this, is not my husband to just take that. He told our daughters’ the other week that he goes to the machine for a Yorkie bar if he gets in trouble - again, not him.
  • I have given thought to the idea of depression but I just don’t know. If he has no (or little) responsibility and can be with me, he is so content. He generally is in good spirits if there are no problems or worries.
  • This long list may seem obvious and shout out my concern - but this is a few worries compiled together, so looks bad. No one else would even know really. He is quite able to hold a fluent conversation etc. and takes good care of himself.
  • I have made an appointment for us both to talk to the doctor again this weekend. I don’t want to put worries in his mind or exaggerate the situation, everything just feels so different and I can’t quite say any one reason why. I feel so bad for him that he is struggling so much and I don’t know how best to help him. Thank you for letting me vent. X
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,048
0
South coast
Hello @RM3

Please print out all your concerns and make sure the doctor has them before you go to the appointment. You need to get back to the memory clinic/neurologist
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
Hello @RM3

Please print out all your concerns and make sure the doctor has them before you go to the appointment. You need to get back to the memory clinic/neurologist
Hello @canary. Thank you for replying. It is such a good idea but seems like it may be hard to do ( I suppose I could just walk in to reception with it maybe). It’s so hard to get in to the doctors and you are given such little time. Hard not to feel like an inconvenience sometimes (even though until going 18 months or so ago, I can’t remember my husband going to the doctors for much for anything). Thank you x
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,709
0
Kent
Hello @RM3

Post a print out of your post to the doctor with a covering letter saying this is why you are so worried.
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
Hello @RM3

Post a print out of your post to the doctor with a covering letter saying this is why you are so worried.
Hello @Grannie G. Thank you for reading and replying.
I am definitely going to take the advice of yourself and Canary. There’s so little time in an appointment and it’s hard to stress the effects on day to day life of these sometimes subtle changes. Thank you again x
 

Jess2023

Registered User
May 4, 2023
31
0
Hi. I have posted once before but just needed to get this off my mind.
This is in relation to my 58 year old husband. I had concerns about 18 months ago and husband had a private neurologist appointment, followed by an MRI and was given the all clear.
SORRY this is so long.
Concerns:
Memory not really affected. Only had one time a couple of days ago where my husband hadn’t known who I was talking about when I told him something about our ex son in law.
  • Seems more mellow than has been most our 35 years together.
  • Despite the above though, does not handle a situation well - I.e when our dog had to go to the animal hospital recently, I had to calm him, when I could on our own. He was quite outspoken and exaggerating to me in front of them that he could be there for years and would also cost thousands (was quite expensive though ha). He dotes on our dog by the way as well.
  • He lacks empathy. I’ve suffered a recent unexpected and difficult bereavement. He would have always taken me under his wing and looked after me. He has felt quite empty (although try’s if prompted).
  • He gets a bit OCD about some things. Walks at certain times and preferred routes. He had been bringing me a coffee and breakfast anytime from 5.30am on a weekend (he gets up early). I did manage to stop this after a few months but he’s still hovering around the bedroom from about 7.30am to see if I am planning a walk with him or should he go alone. I’ve tried to say that we work all week and don’t need to be out so early but he’s anxious to go.
  • Watches YouTube for hours - either a handful of people that he like who video walking around towns (he will watch for hours) and obsessively, American news (mainly Fox and pro republican for whatever reason). Not saying that is right or wrong but it’s quite unusual for him and obsessive.
  • Practical things:
  • He struggles with planning and problem solving now. He has always been good at diy for example - but struggles now if for example there were a cut needed in tiles or wallpaper, he wouldn’t work it out without me (very unlike him over the years).
  • Won’t volunteer himself any longer for any help with diy etc with our daughters’ like he would have done over the years.
  • I’d recently asked if had given our dog his insulin, he felt like he had and hadn’t. I checked the sharps bin and at the top was a needle, still with the insulin in.
  • Biggest impact at the moment:
  • He was made redundant last year. Has always been in engineering and a manager for many years. Could not grasp the new role offered so took the redundancy. In a new job now for 4 months, with (we thought) less demands, still in engineering. He is really struggling and making lots of mistakes (to the point of being shouted at on a number of occasions and told today that he isn’t performing as they had hoped). He is making mistakes on things like measuring and inputting dates and data onto the computer. He had to use his phone a few weeks ago (he told me), to add one onto another four digit number. His probation is up in about a month and for the first time ever in his working life, he may be finished for not being ‘good enough’. He has always done so well, I just don’t know what’s happening.
  • He says he would be fine at work if it wasn’t for the guy training him, who he says is watching over him and losing it with him. Even this, is not my husband to just take that. He told our daughters’ the other week that he goes to the machine for a Yorkie bar if he gets in trouble - again, not him.
  • I have given thought to the idea of depression but I just don’t know. If he has no (or little) responsibility and can be with me, he is so content. He generally is in good spirits if there are no problems or worries.
  • This long list may seem obvious and shout out my concern - but this is a few worries compiled together, so looks bad. No one else would even know really. He is quite able to hold a fluent conversation etc. and takes good care of himself.
  • I have made an appointment for us both to talk to the doctor again this weekend. I don’t want to put worries in his mind or exaggerate the situation, everything just feels so different and I can’t quite say any one reason why. I feel so bad for him that he is struggling so much and I don’t know how best to help him. Thank you for letting me vent. X
Hi. I have posted once before but just needed to get this off my mind.
This is in relation to my 58 year old husband. I had concerns about 18 months ago and husband had a private neurologist appointment, followed by an MRI and was given the all clear.
SORRY this is so long.
Concerns:
Memory not really affected. Only had one time a couple of days ago where my husband hadn’t known who I was talking about when I told him something about our ex son in law.
  • Seems more mellow than has been most our 35 years together.
  • Despite the above though, does not handle a situation well - I.e when our dog had to go to the animal hospital recently, I had to calm him, when I could on our own. He was quite outspoken and exaggerating to me in front of them that he could be there for years and would also cost thousands (was quite expensive though ha). He dotes on our dog by the way as well.
  • He lacks empathy. I’ve suffered a recent unexpected and difficult bereavement. He would have always taken me under his wing and looked after me. He has felt quite empty (although try’s if prompted).
  • He gets a bit OCD about some things. Walks at certain times and preferred routes. He had been bringing me a coffee and breakfast anytime from 5.30am on a weekend (he gets up early). I did manage to stop this after a few months but he’s still hovering around the bedroom from about 7.30am to see if I am planning a walk with him or should he go alone. I’ve tried to say that we work all week and don’t need to be out so early but he’s anxious to go.
  • Watches YouTube for hours - either a handful of people that he like who video walking around towns (he will watch for hours) and obsessively, American news (mainly Fox and pro republican for whatever reason). Not saying that is right or wrong but it’s quite unusual for him and obsessive.
  • Practical things:
  • He struggles with planning and problem solving now. He has always been good at diy for example - but struggles now if for example there were a cut needed in tiles or wallpaper, he wouldn’t work it out without me (very unlike him over the years).
  • Won’t volunteer himself any longer for any help with diy etc with our daughters’ like he would have done over the years.
  • I’d recently asked if had given our dog his insulin, he felt like he had and hadn’t. I checked the sharps bin and at the top was a needle, still with the insulin in.
  • Biggest impact at the moment:
  • He was made redundant last year. Has always been in engineering and a manager for many years. Could not grasp the new role offered so took the redundancy. In a new job now for 4 months, with (we thought) less demands, still in engineering. He is really struggling and making lots of mistakes (to the point of being shouted at on a number of occasions and told today that he isn’t performing as they had hoped). He is making mistakes on things like measuring and inputting dates and data onto the computer. He had to use his phone a few weeks ago (he told me), to add one onto another four digit number. His probation is up in about a month and for the first time ever in his working life, he may be finished for not being ‘good enough’. He has always done so well, I just don’t know what’s happening.
  • He says he would be fine at work if it wasn’t for the guy training him, who he says is watching over him and losing it with him. Even this, is not my husband to just take that. He told our daughters’ the other week that he goes to the machine for a Yorkie bar if he gets in trouble - again, not him.
  • I have given thought to the idea of depression but I just don’t know. If he has no (or little) responsibility and can be with me, he is so content. He generally is in good spirits if there are no problems or worries.
  • This long list may seem obvious and shout out my concern - but this is a few worries compiled together, so looks bad. No one else would even know really. He is quite able to hold a fluent conversation etc. and takes good care of himself.
  • I have made an appointment for us both to talk to the doctor again this weekend. I don’t want to put worries in his mind or exaggerate the situation, everything just feels so different and I can’t quite say any one reason why. I feel so bad for him that he is struggling so much and I don’t know how best to help him. Thank you for letting me vent. X
Hello and sorry to read how worried you are, I have to say I can’t underestimate writing these observations down and dropping them into your surgery or doctors secretary as soon as you can before your appointment. I followed the advice here for my own husband and it helped professionals to understand my concerns and his behaviour to the point the assessment process was accelerated. Your opinions and experiences as his spouse are pivotal. Everything you’re saying is valid and I can hear your worry.
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
Hello and sorry to read how worried you are, I have to say I can’t underestimate writing these observations down and dropping them into your surgery or doctors secretary as soon as you can before your appointment. I followed the advice here for my own husband and it helped professionals to understand my concerns and his behaviour to the point the assessment process was accelerated. Your opinions and experiences as his spouse are pivotal. Everything you’re saying is valid and I can hear your worry.
Hello @Jess2023. Thank you for reading and replying. I am so glad I posted. Taking in a printout of the things that concern me and the effects on day to day life, prior to the appointment, is not something that I would have done but I will do now. I’m very grateful for the advice from everyone and I suppose the validation of my worries. Thank you x
 

Jess2023

Registered User
May 4, 2023
31
0
Hello @Jess2023. Thank you for reading and replying. I am so glad I posted. Taking in a printout of the things that concern me and the effects on day to day life, prior to the appointment, is not something that I would have done but I will do now. I’m very grateful for the advice from everyone and I suppose the validation of my worries. Thank you x
It wasn’t something I’d have done either until I posted and was advised to by the experienced people here , I also kept notes of any changes on my phone so I could refer to it when I met a doctor. It was helpful for professionals to build a picture as part of my husbands assessment. I did feel like I was compiling evidence against him sometimes but was a means to an end . Sending you lots of strength :)
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
It wasn’t something I’d have done either until I posted and was advised to by the experienced people here , I also kept notes of any changes on my phone so I could refer to it when I met a doctor. It was helpful for professionals to build a picture as part of my husbands assessment. I did feel like I was compiling evidence against him sometimes but was a means to an end . Sending you lots of strength :)
Thank you @Jess2023. I am going to take this in on Wednesday for our apt Saturday. Thank you and best wishes x
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
Thank you @Jess2023. I am going to take this in on Wednesday for our apt Saturday. Thank you and best wishes x
Thank you @Jess2023. I am going to take this in on Wednesday for our apt Saturday. Thank you and best wishes x
It wasn’t something I’d have done either until I posted and was advised to by the experienced people here , I also kept notes of any changes on my phone so I could refer to it when I met a doctor. It was helpful for professionals to build a picture as part of my husbands assessment. I did feel like I was compiling evidence against him sometimes but was a means to an end . Sending you lots of strength :)
@Jess2023, I understand what you mean about feeling like giving evidence against them - but with their best interests at heart.
There’s so much to say about sometimes, such little things. Put all together though, like when I read back what I wrote in my post, it is easier to understand why someone has concerns. Thank you x
 

Lilstar

Registered User
Aug 11, 2019
106
0
Hi. I have posted once before but just needed to get this off my mind.
This is in relation to my 58 year old husband. I had concerns about 18 months ago and husband had a private neurologist appointment, followed by an MRI and was given the all clear.
SORRY this is so long.
Concerns:
Memory not really affected. Only had one time a couple of days ago where my husband hadn’t known who I was talking about when I told him something about our ex son in law.
  • Seems more mellow than has been most our 35 years together.
  • Despite the above though, does not handle a situation well - I.e when our dog had to go to the animal hospital recently, I had to calm him, when I could on our own. He was quite outspoken and exaggerating to me in front of them that he could be there for years and would also cost thousands (was quite expensive though ha). He dotes on our dog by the way as well.
  • He lacks empathy. I’ve suffered a recent unexpected and difficult bereavement. He would have always taken me under his wing and looked after me. He has felt quite empty (although try’s if prompted).
  • He gets a bit OCD about some things. Walks at certain times and preferred routes. He had been bringing me a coffee and breakfast anytime from 5.30am on a weekend (he gets up early). I did manage to stop this after a few months but he’s still hovering around the bedroom from about 7.30am to see if I am planning a walk with him or should he go alone. I’ve tried to say that we work all week and don’t need to be out so early but he’s anxious to go.
  • Watches YouTube for hours - either a handful of people that he like who video walking around towns (he will watch for hours) and obsessively, American news (mainly Fox and pro republican for whatever reason). Not saying that is right or wrong but it’s quite unusual for him and obsessive.
  • Practical things:
  • He struggles with planning and problem solving now. He has always been good at diy for example - but struggles now if for example there were a cut needed in tiles or wallpaper, he wouldn’t work it out without me (very unlike him over the years).
  • Won’t volunteer himself any longer for any help with diy etc with our daughters’ like he would have done over the years.
  • I’d recently asked if had given our dog his insulin, he felt like he had and hadn’t. I checked the sharps bin and at the top was a needle, still with the insulin in.
  • Biggest impact at the moment:
  • He was made redundant last year. Has always been in engineering and a manager for many years. Could not grasp the new role offered so took the redundancy. In a new job now for 4 months, with (we thought) less demands, still in engineering. He is really struggling and making lots of mistakes (to the point of being shouted at on a number of occasions and told today that he isn’t performing as they had hoped). He is making mistakes on things like measuring and inputting dates and data onto the computer. He had to use his phone a few weeks ago (he told me), to add one onto another four digit number. His probation is up in about a month and for the first time ever in his working life, he may be finished for not being ‘good enough’. He has always done so well, I just don’t know what’s happening.
  • He says he would be fine at work if it wasn’t for the guy training him, who he says is watching over him and losing it with him. Even this, is not my husband to just take that. He told our daughters’ the other week that he goes to the machine for a Yorkie bar if he gets in trouble - again, not him.
  • I have given thought to the idea of depression but I just don’t know. If he has no (or little) responsibility and can be with me, he is so content. He generally is in good spirits if there are no problems or worries.
  • This long list may seem obvious and shout out my concern - but this is a few worries compiled together, so looks bad. No one else would even know really. He is quite able to hold a fluent conversation etc. and takes good care of himself.
  • I have made an appointment for us both to talk to the doctor again this weekend. I don’t want to put worries in his mind or exaggerate the situation, everything just feels so different and I can’t quite say any one reason why. I feel so bad for him that he is struggling so much and I don’t know how best to help him. Thank you for letting me vent. X
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
2,034
0
I would also take a copy of your print-out with you when you go to the appointment.

Other areas you might like to consider are:
* How is he with handling finances without your input?
E.g. understanding financial statements, paying for things, renewing insurances
* How is his sense of time?
E.g. can he organise and remember appointments himself? Is he aware of what day / week / month / year it is without you prompting him? Can he remember important dates and things that you have done / places you have been?
* Can he operate the phone / tv / oven / washing machine / dishwasher / heating / thermostat without prompting?
* Can he still follow a recipe and prepare meals without prompting?
* Does he still recognise people that you know and remember how you know them (e.g. mother of your daughter's school friend / man who owns the hardware store / former neighbour etc)
* Is he still socialising as before? Will he still arrange to meet people without your input?
* Is he still pursuing the same hobbies and interests without you encouraging him?

You need to emphasise how much your husband has changed.

Regarding work, if your husband feels that he is being unfairly treated and this is risking him not passing his probationary period then could he speak to HR, or a union rep if he's a member of a union.
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
I would also take a copy of your print-out with you when you go to the appointment.

Other areas you might like to consider are:
* How is he with handling finances without your input?
E.g. understanding financial statements, paying for things, renewing insurances
* How is his sense of time?
E.g. can he organise and remember appointments himself? Is he aware of what day / week / month / year it is without you prompting him? Can he remember important dates and things that you have done / places you have been?
* Can he operate the phone / tv / oven / washing machine / dishwasher / heating / thermostat without prompting?
* Can he still follow a recipe and prepare meals without prompting?
* Does he still recognise people that you know and remember how you know them (e.g. mother of your daughter's school friend / man who owns the hardware store / former neighbour etc)
* Is he still socialising as before? Will he still arrange to meet people without your input?
* Is he still pursuing the same hobbies and interests without you encouraging him?

You need to emphasise how much your husband has changed.

Regarding work, if your husband feels that he is being unfairly treated and this is risking him not passing his probationary period then could he speak to HR, or a union rep if he's a member of a union.
Hello @Violet Jane. I can not thank you enough. I am going to complete the answers to all of these tonight and take in tomorrow. This is so very helpful (helps me focus on the detail rather than just generalising). I am going to speak to him tonight about work. I understand that they are probably frustrated with him (especially considering his last role and how his CV reads). Even so, no need to raise your voice and treat someone like a child. It is humiliating for him 😢. I hope that we can get some answers for him/us both soon.
Thank you once again for your care and time. X
 

Spottydog

Registered User
Dec 8, 2023
106
0
Hello, this must be such a worry for you. I would press for the doctor to do a blood test as there are many treatable conditions that can cause these symptoms. Is your husband on any medication and/or does he drink much alcohol?
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
Hello, this must be such a worry for you. I would press for the doctor to do a blood test as there are many treatable conditions that can cause these symptoms. Is your husband on any medication and/or does he drink much alcohol?
Hello @Spottydog. Thank you for your reply. I believe (but I’ll check), that he did have bloods done about 16-18 months ago and all fine but I will definitely ask about this again.
Does not drink very much alcohol. Most evenings (but not all) one can of lager whilst I make tea (and I often have him put a little bit in a glass for me). So I don’t think that would be enough to be a factor? Thank you again for your suggestions and best wishes 😌
 

Spottydog

Registered User
Dec 8, 2023
106
0
Hello @Spottydog. Thank you for your reply. I believe (but I’ll check), that he did have bloods done about 16-18 months ago and all fine but I will definitely ask about this again.
Does not drink very much alcohol. Most evenings (but not all) one can of lager whilst I make tea (and I often have him put a little bit in a glass for me). So I don’t think that would be enough to be a factor? Thank you again for your suggestions and best wishes 😌
Hello, there is something called alcohol induced dementia which I understand is reversible, but your husbands consumption is very modest. Definitely push for blood tests to rule out any chemical cause. You know your husband better than any doctor so keep on pushing til you get an answer. Best of luck to you both 🍀
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
Hello, there is something called alcohol induced dementia which I understand is reversible, but your husbands consumption is very modest. Definitely push for blood tests to rule out any chemical cause. You know your husband better than any doctor so keep on pushing til you get an answer. Best of luck to you both 🍀
Thank you @Spottydog ☺️
 

Lilstar

Registered User
Aug 11, 2019
106
0
Hi. I have posted once before but just needed to get this off my mind.
This is in relation to my 58 year old husband. I had concerns about 18 months ago and husband had a private neurologist appointment, followed by an MRI and was given the all clear.
SORRY this is so long.
Concerns:
Memory not really affected. Only had one time a couple of days ago where my husband hadn’t known who I was talking about when I told him something about our ex son in law.
  • Seems more mellow than has been most our 35 years together.
  • Despite the above though, does not handle a situation well - I.e when our dog had to go to the animal hospital recently, I had to calm him, when I could on our own. He was quite outspoken and exaggerating to me in front of them that he could be there for years and would also cost thousands (was quite expensive though ha). He dotes on our dog by the way as well.
  • He lacks empathy. I’ve suffered a recent unexpected and difficult bereavement. He would have always taken me under his wing and looked after me. He has felt quite empty (although try’s if prompted).
  • He gets a bit OCD about some things. Walks at certain times and preferred routes. He had been bringing me a coffee and breakfast anytime from 5.30am on a weekend (he gets up early). I did manage to stop this after a few months but he’s still hovering around the bedroom from about 7.30am to see if I am planning a walk with him or should he go alone. I’ve tried to say that we work all week and don’t need to be out so early but he’s anxious to go.
  • Watches YouTube for hours - either a handful of people that he like who video walking around towns (he will watch for hours) and obsessively, American news (mainly Fox and pro republican for whatever reason). Not saying that is right or wrong but it’s quite unusual for him and obsessive.
  • Practical things:
  • He struggles with planning and problem solving now. He has always been good at diy for example - but struggles now if for example there were a cut needed in tiles or wallpaper, he wouldn’t work it out without me (very unlike him over the years).
  • Won’t volunteer himself any longer for any help with diy etc with our daughters’ like he would have done over the years.
  • I’d recently asked if had given our dog his insulin, he felt like he had and hadn’t. I checked the sharps bin and at the top was a needle, still with the insulin in.
  • Biggest impact at the moment:
  • He was made redundant last year. Has always been in engineering and a manager for many years. Could not grasp the new role offered so took the redundancy. In a new job now for 4 months, with (we thought) less demands, still in engineering. He is really struggling and making lots of mistakes (to the point of being shouted at on a number of occasions and told today that he isn’t performing as they had hoped). He is making mistakes on things like measuring and inputting dates and data onto the computer. He had to use his phone a few weeks ago (he told me), to add one onto another four digit number. His probation is up in about a month and for the first time ever in his working life, he may be finished for not being ‘good enough’. He has always done so well, I just don’t know what’s happening.
  • He says he would be fine at work if it wasn’t for the guy training him, who he says is watching over him and losing it with him. Even this, is not my husband to just take that. He told our daughters’ the other week that he goes to the machine for a Yorkie bar if he gets in trouble - again, not him.
  • I have given thought to the idea of depression but I just don’t know. If he has no (or little) responsibility and can be with me, he is so content. He generally is in good spirits if there are no problems or worries.
  • This long list may seem obvious and shout out my concern - but this is a few worries compiled together, so looks bad. No one else would even know really. He is quite able to hold a fluent conversation etc. and takes good care of himself.
  • I have made an appointment for us both to talk to the doctor again this weekend. I don’t want to put worries in his mind or exaggerate the situation, everything just feels so different and I can’t quite say any one reason why. I feel so bad for him that he is struggling so much and I don’t know how best to help him. Thank you for letting me vent
 

Lilstar

Registered User
Aug 11, 2019
106
0
I can relate to many things that you stated, my oh is 5 years in not progressed much apart from a little bit more memory loss , he too can still hold conversations, cook meal , drive .My husband is still doing small jobs only because he is self employed, it would be interesting if he was employed by someone 🤔.My husbands empathy went out the window years ago and he also goes on you tube watching epic fails for hours. He had all testing done and scored 98/100 on tests his MRI came back ok then he had a spect scan where it showed damage, apparently that’s how the diagnosed mixed dementia.You would not know my oh has dementia talking to him as I said but there’s a lot of events and appointments he can’t remember . My husband was diagnosed young and I too had to push for it.
 

RM3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2024
65
0
I can relate to many things that you stated, my oh is 5 years in not progressed much apart from a little bit more memory loss , he too can still hold conversations, cook meal , drive .My husband is still doing small jobs only because he is self employed, it would be interesting if he was employed by someone 🤔.My husbands empathy went out the window years ago and he also goes on you tube watching epic fails for hours. He had all testing done and scored 98/100 on tests his MRI came back ok then he had a spect scan where it showed damage, apparently that’s how the diagnosed mixed dementia.You would not know my oh has dementia talking to him as I said but there’s a lot of events and appointments he can’t remember . My husband was diagnosed young and I too had to push for it.
Hi @Lilstar. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is quite difficult isn’t it when it’s really just you that sees the (mainly) subtle changes and also, I think because they confide in us with difficulties they have - big or small, so we are more aware.
I asked my husband something about his health a couple of weeks ago. He said that sometimes things look a bit ‘foggy’. I suggested that he might need an eye test but he said that he doesn’t really mean vision, more how things sometimes seem, around him.
That is so similar then with the hours of YouTube. Once he latches on to someone on there he could watch for a whole day.
I do still hope that there is a less worry some reason for the changes. Maybe a bit of a loss of confidence with general aging and changes with work etc, or just ready for an early retirement.
Thank you once again and best wishes ☺️
 
Last edited:

Forum statistics

Threads
138,807
Messages
2,000,070
Members
90,575
Latest member
Celiagibson