Refusing Food, PEG Feed, Palliative Care, Starting to Break

[Pottypeg]

Thank you so much for the words of comfort from all of you, they're so uplifting.

Pottypeg, I really feel the weight of responsibility where I need to be so mindful of what I say and share in such a place. I often worry that I'm saying things that will cause unnecessary distress to the people who find themselves in a similar situation.

I am sure you have compassion in equal measure, otherwise you wouldn't be moved or affected by what you've read and your own experiences. Please don't sell yourself short. I'm not quite clear about your dad, since I'm not familiar with what being in an assessment unit means. I really felt I was floundering about trying to work out any possible causes for Dad's lack of appetite. He had really been eating much less for several months leading up to his hospitalisation, so it may have just been the way he was headed regardless of his location or possible causes.

I would ask for a variety of possibilities to be explored for your dad, oral thrush, any stomach or digestive issues, perhaps even a mild depression, infections, or combinations of medications which may cause nausea or lack of appetite. I really don't know what else to suggest or say other than, every person is different and so is their path and progress so please don't feel so distressed. I'm so sorry this thread has caused you so much sorrow and I really wish you, your mum and your dad all the very best.

Stephanie, xxx

Your thread did not cause sorrow, but allowed me to let my emotions out, because I had been keeping them bottled up.

 

[lilysmybabypup]

I'm so glad you were able to release all that emotion, and I hope you're feeling lighter.

Stephanie, xxx

 

[CeliaW]

Stephanie, I am so sorry to read that your Dad has passed and my apologies that I have only just caught up with this thread. How are you coping?

No-one will change how you feel about agreeing to your Dad having the morphine and it will be something you have to work through yourself over time. What I can say though is that I know from my nursing experience that you probably took the best decision. It can be very difficult to agree to something that may feasibly shorten life (though not guarenteed to do so) but it comes down to quality over quantity. From what you write, your Dad slipped away quite peacefully and the morphine will have contributed to the peacefulness by removing pain and discomfort and so easing agitation.

It was a very selfless choice and, in my opinion, the best one for your Dad although it meant he was not with you for as long as maybe he would have been. But he passed with dignity and minimal if any distress as well as knowing he was loved and cared for.

I am sure it will be a trying time but I do hope you can come to feel that you made the right choice and feel at peace yourself and not guilty in anyway.

Wishing you strength and sending supportive hugs,

Take care

Celia
xx

 

[Pottypeg]

I'm so glad you were able to release all that emotion, and I hope you're feeling lighter.

Stephanie, xxx

much better thanks, it helps to know you're not alone.

Anne

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Stephanie, so sorry to hear of your dad's passing and my apologies for my lateness. But the mother of a friend died Friday and we were with them for the weekend, so I have just caught up with this.

My condolences to you and your family.

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Thank you Celia, Kassy, Anne and CG,
Your expressions of sympathy are deeply appreciated.

Stephanie, xxx

 

[Caring1212]

Hello

Thank you Celia, Kassy, Anne and CG,
Your expressions of sympathy are deeply appreciated.

Stephanie, xxx

Hello Stephanie
Sorry to hear of your loss, thinking of you
Xx

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Stephanie, I am so sorry to read that your Dad has passed and my apologies that I have only just caught up with this thread. How are you coping?

No-one will change how you feel about agreeing to your Dad having the morphine and it will be something you have to work through yourself over time. What I can say though is that I know from my nursing experience that you probably took the best decision. It can be very difficult to agree to something that may feasibly shorten life (though not guarenteed to do so) but it comes down to quality over quantity. From what you write, your Dad slipped away quite peacefully and the morphine will have contributed to the peacefulness by removing pain and discomfort and so easing agitation.

It was a very selfless choice and, in my opinion, the best one for your Dad although it meant he was not with you for as long as maybe he would have been. But he passed with dignity and minimal if any distress as well as knowing he was loved and cared for.

I am sure it will be a trying time but I do hope you can come to feel that you made the right choice and feel at peace yourself and not guilty in anyway.

Wishing you strength and sending supportive hugs,

Take care

Celia
xx

Thank you, Celia, your words have helped me considerably, I know there was nothing more I could do. It's a helplessness that makes us clutch at such straws. It's good to get some reassurance.
Stephanie, xxx

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Hello Stephanie
Sorry to hear of your loss, thinking of you
Xx

Thank you, Caring1212.
xxx