Preparing for death?

[smithdee]

Me again...
My dad has developed a nasty cough that sounds like he's choking when he coughs. He's on antibiotics for it, but it doesn't seem to be getting much better.
GP said its common with late stage Alzheimers when sitting around a lot as he is almost bed bound and only gets up a few times a week and even that is to sit in his chair all day.
My mum has expressed her concerns to me that she thinks this is the end for my dad and she is frightened he is going to develop pneumonia and he will pass away suddenly.
Could she be right? Is this a common thing at the end of life? What can I do to prepare myself just incase but not worry her at the same time?

Im trying to stay positive for her sake, even though (as per my previous post) I do sometimes wish he would just slip away, but mum is getting herself very worked up, to the point that I'm having to stay overnight incase it happens.

 

[canary]

Hello @smithdee

Im sorry to hear your dad has a chest infection. You mum is partially right - people with dementia do often die from pneumonia, but it is not usually sudden. When they die it is almost always a slow drawn out decline over days or even weeks and they will usually refuse food and fluid as part of this dying process.

There is no way of knowing which way your dad will go. He may start to respond to the antibiotics, or the doctor may try other antibiotics that he responds to, or it may be, unfortunately, that he does not recover. If the latter happens the doctor will almost certainly have time to put support in place and make sure that he is being kept pain-free and comfortable.

I hope that your dad recovers, but if he starts to show signs of decline, dont leave it - contact the GP straight away.