Found the right place for introducing myself so here's me again....
Hi there, good to be here...
After helping my mum with undiagnosed dementia keep on living in her beloved bungalow which my father built for her , she's now in a care home with my first proper visit being yesterday. And that was naturally awful.
I live 80 miles away from her, and my sister and I have been working together after mum had a bad fall 5 weeks ago and broke her ankle in the bungalow. Hospital stay ensued then social worker wanted her to be discharged after about a week into a form of 24 hour care. Then a stressful time ensued. The care home is excellent with good ratings, plenty of experience with dementia but its not her home and yesterday I saw her so resigned, confused, shuffling around on a zimmer frame with a massive moon boot on for her ankle.
Mum was twice assessed by mental health in the past and passed the tests, given the mild cognitive impairment diagnosis with short term memory loss only. After the fall she's a different lady with far worsened dementia and after doing all her own meds at home plus her eye drops, and looking after herself, she was assessed as needing 24 hour care. And they are right, she now does.
I feel as if I've lost the mum who kept ringing me for reaasurance, the mother I ordered a weekly shop for, the mother who I helped with jigsaws and kept chosing new ones for her to do. The dementia has rendered her confused, dependent, vulnerable. Driving away leaving her in the hospital and then driving away leaving her in the care home was heart wrenching. She's been an amazing mother living on her own independently for 19 years after my father died and though I know she's not dead, it feels somewhat like she is.
Sorry I didn't mean to type so much, but again, glad to be here and very best wishes to everyone.
Hi there, good to be here...
After helping my mum with undiagnosed dementia keep on living in her beloved bungalow which my father built for her , she's now in a care home with my first proper visit being yesterday. And that was naturally awful.
I live 80 miles away from her, and my sister and I have been working together after mum had a bad fall 5 weeks ago and broke her ankle in the bungalow. Hospital stay ensued then social worker wanted her to be discharged after about a week into a form of 24 hour care. Then a stressful time ensued. The care home is excellent with good ratings, plenty of experience with dementia but its not her home and yesterday I saw her so resigned, confused, shuffling around on a zimmer frame with a massive moon boot on for her ankle.
Mum was twice assessed by mental health in the past and passed the tests, given the mild cognitive impairment diagnosis with short term memory loss only. After the fall she's a different lady with far worsened dementia and after doing all her own meds at home plus her eye drops, and looking after herself, she was assessed as needing 24 hour care. And they are right, she now does.
I feel as if I've lost the mum who kept ringing me for reaasurance, the mother I ordered a weekly shop for, the mother who I helped with jigsaws and kept chosing new ones for her to do. The dementia has rendered her confused, dependent, vulnerable. Driving away leaving her in the hospital and then driving away leaving her in the care home was heart wrenching. She's been an amazing mother living on her own independently for 19 years after my father died and though I know she's not dead, it feels somewhat like she is.
Sorry I didn't mean to type so much, but again, glad to be here and very best wishes to everyone.