Poo

[Jerac]

My husband suffers from vascular dementia & alzheimers diagnosed in 2020.
He wears incontinence pants but still manages to soak his trousers whilst assuring me he’s completely dry so I secretly check every night.
Last night the same. His trousers were damp so I took them for washing. This morning I turned them inside out to put them in the machine & found them full of 💩. My sense of smell is non existent at the moment due to hay fever otherwise I would have smelt it! My husband must have known he had pooed but didn’t say a word. We have had incidents in the past re poo but usually due to him having made a mess in the loo & attempted to clear up.
This is a long whinge but I am feeling rather queasy & depressed this morning!
How do you deal with someone who pretends there is no problem in this situation? Wee is bad enough but poo is another thing entirely!

 

[SherwoodSue]

This is tough. Have you asked GP to refer you to incontinence team?

Also pet shop has very useful supplies for the clean up operation

I am sorry you are going through this

 

[Jerac]

This is tough. Have you asked GP to refer you to incontinence team?

Also pet shop has very useful supplies for the clean up operation

I am sorry you are going through this

Thank you for your support, makes me feel less alone.
He has seen the incontinence team re his bladder. We are now supplied with pants which helps. It’s the refusal to admit when he has a problem that makes things hard. If this gets worse I will contact them again.

 

[canary]

It’s the refusal to admit when he has a problem that makes things hard

Im afraid that it is quite normal for them to reach a stage in their incontinence when they do not realise that anything has happened.

When mum started with incontinence she knew she needed to go, but would leak a bit, or not quite make it in time. Then she would say when she was actually going. Then she would say when she had been. Then she didnt know that she had been.

It sounds like your husband is reaching this final stage.
Id contact the incontinence team now

 

[sdmhred]

Oh @Jerac
@canary is sadly right - he may well not realise he has been.
Do contact the team …..and think about what might work for you to manage
- mum was generally compliant for me so I put her on the loo regularly throughout the day…this kept incontinence at bay. She would often say she didn’t need to go / didn’t even know if some had come but this generally worked for us As the instinct when on the loo was still there.

Would it help for a carer to come in and help you clean him once each day?

Or is it time for day or residential care for others to largely manage the problem

I’m so sorry - bowel incontinence is one of those sad mini griefs we suffer on this journey xxxx