Our magic bitter sweet moments 🥰🥰🥰
- Thread starter sdmhred
- Start date
I might be an idea to save some of the herbs and spices in a memory box which along with photos and perfumes ect you can use these at a later time for interactions
Thanks @steph122 .
A bit late, I'm afraid. My post you have referred to was in April 2023,
I made the curry using some of the "mystery" ingredients. It was fine, and we survived!
So, since then I've used the rest of those old, old spices.
At the time it felt like a bit of a lottery. A bit like a story one of my friend told me. They had a flood from their immersion heater upstairs above the kitchen where the water cascaded down through their "stock" cupboard where they kept numerous tins of food stuffs. Result was that all the paper labels on the tins came off. They then had lots of unlabelled tins, and decided that once a week they'd pick two or three tins and make a meal of the contents together whatever they were. They had a lot of odd meals mixing up soup, or beans, or fruit, etc, until they'd used up the supply. They didn't want to waste anything!
Reminds me of the time I stayed with an aunt . She had a shop and had bought unlabelled tins from the warehouse for her own use. I had tinned peaches every night with custard for two weeks. Can't stand tinned peaches now🤣
my mum used to work in a big supermarket for years. they used to sell the cans without labels on. she got quite adept at the codes on the tin and what they were. 9x out of ten, she would be right. i think she treated it as a challenge.
Do you know Jennifer I actually haven’t painted since the night before mum died 😢😢 I’ve not had the creative energy…but apparently the way to get it back is to start so I may try and channel some energies into a tribute painting…..but I have needed something to do so making lavender bags with her pretty pants 🙈🙈
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Unexpected Blessings and A Life Well Lived..
That’s my summary from yesterday. I had been sad on Monday & Tuesday so my emotions took me by surprise!
The day started well with 2 unexpected encounters as I walked the refreshments to the church. I bumped into an old client who was off to a morning French lesson. Knowing how disabled he had previously been with schizophrenia I was very impressed and so it was lovely to say hi. I then bumped into one of the care home nurses who had just disappeared a couple of months ago. I suspected something was ‘up’ and sadly a complaint had been made by another member of staff and they had decided to up and leave. I never had issues with them - they were always kind which goes miles in my book.
Mum had a lovely countryside half hour drive from the funeral home to the crematorium via the care home. Not planned that way, but it felt fitting as we spent so much of our time together doing just that. Quite ironic that her route would have past many of our old haunts. She was running early and we quickly had to overtake her at one point 🙈🙈
I was surprised by my emotions in the crem. As I kissed her coffin on the way out I expected to be distraught, but I just felt such a surge of thankfulness to her 🥰🥰🥰 I had read out a few tributes we had received and was filled me pride. I realised where I get my love for people with difficulties from - the penny hadn’t dropped before - it was mum’s heart too. I had completely forgotten that back in 2018/9 she used to offer to take a lady with dementia to a gardening group / coffee morning. Crazy to think that we know now mum was in the early stages but this lady was well into her journey and needed to be watched as she wandered. Now I know why her husband was so kind and visited mum when Dad died. He must have been so greatful!
We had a fairly relaxed thanksgiving service to follow. I had been so sad that the numbers were going to be low. One friend only remaining alive and able to travel. For me it was also the cruelty of dementia exclusion, Dad died at 88 (mum 84) and his service was packed. But I can only say I had a spiritual moment in the hymns. I had an image of all the people that have been touched by mum over the years (many dead or lacking capacity) all at a parallel service in heaven giving thanks for her. And that service was packed. I could have lost it then.
Family meal saved by the difficult man cancelling 🙈🙈👋👋 and therefore lovely and relaxed. Good to catch up with wider family and no surprises, similar stories from a relative who is currently caring for his mum with the d diagnosis. Slight horror at the end when the 91 year old only friend asked for a lift to the train station 😱😱 ( we all assumed her daughter who dropped her would be picking her up). No - off she went on 2.5hr train journey across the country - wearing small heels I hasten to add! I felt like a mum to a teenager ringing last thing to check she’d got home ok! Ps - she is also a carer to her daughter - what a lady!
And for my brother a football fan - a win for England in the evening…..family funerals bode well for England. They beat Germany at Wembley the night of Dad’s funeral.
Today exhausted! Working (a little) but clearly tired as went out at lunchtime with my top on inside out …and then tonight realised I had a different top on for my evening walk which was clearly dirty 🙈🙈
Thanks mum 🥰🥰
That’s my summary from yesterday. I had been sad on Monday & Tuesday so my emotions took me by surprise!
The day started well with 2 unexpected encounters as I walked the refreshments to the church. I bumped into an old client who was off to a morning French lesson. Knowing how disabled he had previously been with schizophrenia I was very impressed and so it was lovely to say hi. I then bumped into one of the care home nurses who had just disappeared a couple of months ago. I suspected something was ‘up’ and sadly a complaint had been made by another member of staff and they had decided to up and leave. I never had issues with them - they were always kind which goes miles in my book.
Mum had a lovely countryside half hour drive from the funeral home to the crematorium via the care home. Not planned that way, but it felt fitting as we spent so much of our time together doing just that. Quite ironic that her route would have past many of our old haunts. She was running early and we quickly had to overtake her at one point 🙈🙈
I was surprised by my emotions in the crem. As I kissed her coffin on the way out I expected to be distraught, but I just felt such a surge of thankfulness to her 🥰🥰🥰 I had read out a few tributes we had received and was filled me pride. I realised where I get my love for people with difficulties from - the penny hadn’t dropped before - it was mum’s heart too. I had completely forgotten that back in 2018/9 she used to offer to take a lady with dementia to a gardening group / coffee morning. Crazy to think that we know now mum was in the early stages but this lady was well into her journey and needed to be watched as she wandered. Now I know why her husband was so kind and visited mum when Dad died. He must have been so greatful!
We had a fairly relaxed thanksgiving service to follow. I had been so sad that the numbers were going to be low. One friend only remaining alive and able to travel. For me it was also the cruelty of dementia exclusion, Dad died at 88 (mum 84) and his service was packed. But I can only say I had a spiritual moment in the hymns. I had an image of all the people that have been touched by mum over the years (many dead or lacking capacity) all at a parallel service in heaven giving thanks for her. And that service was packed. I could have lost it then.
Family meal saved by the difficult man cancelling 🙈🙈👋👋 and therefore lovely and relaxed. Good to catch up with wider family and no surprises, similar stories from a relative who is currently caring for his mum with the d diagnosis. Slight horror at the end when the 91 year old only friend asked for a lift to the train station 😱😱 ( we all assumed her daughter who dropped her would be picking her up). No - off she went on 2.5hr train journey across the country - wearing small heels I hasten to add! I felt like a mum to a teenager ringing last thing to check she’d got home ok! Ps - she is also a carer to her daughter - what a lady!
And for my brother a football fan - a win for England in the evening…..family funerals bode well for England. They beat Germany at Wembley the night of Dad’s funeral.
Today exhausted! Working (a little) but clearly tired as went out at lunchtime with my top on inside out …and then tonight realised I had a different top on for my evening walk which was clearly dirty 🙈🙈
Thanks mum 🥰🥰
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That is lovely, all of those who loved her can put one in their drawers. Beautiful memento.
it all takes time. i remember you saying you used to paint when you was with your mum in her room.
Such a moving post it sounds like your lovely mum had a wonderful send off.
The flowers are beautiful x
The flowers are beautiful x
Thank you all.
My sister in law did the flowers. It’s one of her hobbies. mum has prepaid some of her funeral and we were allocated an eco funeral director - hence the wicker coffin. I loved it …I’ve always wanted one for myself. I know it makes no difference or sense, but I always thought i would feel ‘freer’ in a wicker type one!
My sister in law did the flowers. It’s one of her hobbies. mum has prepaid some of her funeral and we were allocated an eco funeral director - hence the wicker coffin. I loved it …I’ve always wanted one for myself. I know it makes no difference or sense, but I always thought i would feel ‘freer’ in a wicker type one!
Not sure if @Alisongs is coming back to the forum, but I have been thinking about her question. I have sooo many precious memories of the time when I was caring, but they‘re currently too raw. So my mind went back to our adventure together - a Caribbean cruise 🙈🙈🛳🏝 Mum and Dad had always wanted to go but with dad being well into his 80’s wanted me to go with them to help. So I got a generous gift towards the cost. Unfortunately Dad got an abscess that needed draining a week before setting off and was unable to fly. My sister stepped up for Dad and mum and I had a 10 day girlie jaunt. Ironically our days panned out much like caring….food, mum sitting enjoying a view with a coffee whilst I walked and explored. I wasn’t sure whether I would liKe cruising, but I did. We deliberately stayed away from the crowds and I loved seeing a new place each day. Mum occasionally took a tour when I went off on my own, but we also went a few local buses on various islands And did our own thing. Food was lovely and we discovered the quiet areas for our evening relaxing. I’m quite keen now to do the Norwegian Fjords which mum has done…and maybe the artic too
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