A tough week for both yourself and mum @sdmhred but you're both strong and fingers crossed you get over this hump ❤ Glad to hear that the painting is still happening and a hike too sounds well top The daffodils will soon be amongst us so not long to wait now... good hunting haha.I’ve felt quite tired this week - the emotional drain of it all I think. Of course the treatment for mum’s legs caused loose stools….and as she can’t be regularly hoisted….sitting in it 😢😢 managed to persuade GP to prescribe preventative UTI abx but it seems to all be about how much fight us carers have in us!
I’ve also had some weighty stuff in my work life….again vulnerable adults where the treatment by ‘services’ is leaving them worse off 😬😬
I’ve made a real effort to look after myself and went for a long hike last Monday and have kept painting…..We’ve been daffodil hunting when mum has been able to get up….
Thankfully care home manager has been all smiles with me - phew!
CHC MDT on Tuesday - not looking forward to that at all …….
oh and lunch today…the lady who paces grabbed my dinner repeatedly and then the man who paces who is usually a sweetie told me I wasn’t doing a good job and had to be held back from throwing me a punch 🙈🙈 mum …well she just slowly kept eating mouthful by mouthful 🤣🤣
bonus pics - Singapore in 1966!
i think its coping with challenging behaviour. how to diffuse a situation.Thanks @maisiecat! I’ve not cried …just got rather annoyed with the amount of headspace it’s taken! I may have been a little bit grrrr during a work meeting today - but when that’s SS wasting time and money on talking about useless processes that’s not unusual for me 🙈🙈
Today tho has been good. The sun has been shining…a lovely young carer carefully timed mum’s 4 hr out of bed so she could enjoy a sociable lunch, a walk with me in the garden and then the communion service. It really was person centred care at its best - and so lovely for me to know she was being so well taken care of whilst I was working.
My bizarre moment of the day was my complete unphased reaction to when chatting with the cleaner….feeling my top from behind being carefully pulled down and put in place and then my bottom gently smacked…..I didn’t need to turn round ….I knew it was The Lady Who Paces 🥰🥰🥰
My shocker of the day is finding out the staff have had no training in dealing with violence 😱😱😱 I’ve had loads in my role and they deal with more of it than me. I am shocked because the home is very good at training staff ….it makes me wonder if there is good de-escalation / safety training available for care home staff. There should be! I know they are not a psych unit but there are punches and scratches thrown every day …
Love that story @canary I don't remember a magpie at dad's care home.I expect today has been busy for the staff as I should imagine that lots of people came to visit their mums. There may well be a lot of grumpy residents tomorrow who are tired out from Host Mode!!
Do you have a Magpie in your mums home? I bet you do - most places have one. The Magpie in mums home was a tall elegant lady with an eye for nice things and anything that caught her eye would be taken back to her room. I have seen her remove the slippers off someone who was asleep and every now and then the staff used to raid her room! The magpie particularly liked mums walking stick which had been beautifully carved and there was a bit of a running battle between her and my mum. Mum would say to me "that walking stick is well named - its walked off again" and I would tell the staff who would roll their eyes and raid the Magpies room again
I'm so glad you have so many wonderful new friends at your mum's care home a smile can always bring a big lift to our morale in the face of so many potential challenges.It has felt a long week …stressing over the abandoned CHC MDT has worn me out…..I knew the pressure of all this would not go down well with me 😢😢 I am Parking it now until Monday, but do need to try and get some advice….
Its Mother’s Day tomorrow which I have found odd these past few years…I haven’t had a ‘mum’ since 2021 …and instead find myself mum, PA, accountant, care co-ordinator, GP advisor , driver, bottom wiper, feeder etc…..when do WE get a day for flowers and chocolates eh?
I’ve not known what to get her for gifts as she’s had ‘me’ 150% and I know my siblings will do the traditional stuff. I was beginning to feel desperate about what I was going to rustle up, but was saved by the arrival of our new mini vintage slide projector today….mum can be given that…and I found a random card I had made out of one of my paintings - phew!
I’ve been blessed by my new dementia friends when it’s been hard going. I had a lovely dinner with the Man who Paces last night - the dining room was too much for him so whilst my sister was with mum we sat together in the corridor …he was chattering on gibberish but friendly and calm….and then today one of the ladies who has no-one bar a solicitor in her life and always gives me a huge smile…and today she spontaneously leant and kissed my cheek 🥰🥰🥰
Tonight I’ve had some time to paint whilst mum watches the Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra which has really engaged her 🥰🥰 Reminded me of lockdown when Dad wanted to watch them but couldn’t manage their tech. I had to watch it on my iPad and then simultaneously zoom it sharing my screen to him 🙈🙈
photo 2021 and 2024
oh and ps …best bit today looking up and seeing the lovely man who paces doing the pacing but with pants and trousers at his ankles and pad flying everywhere 😱😱 reminded me again of Dad whose trousers were always falling down and he was 100% cognitively with it until he died!
Good to see the Spitting Northumbrian Lady making a reappearance along with the Lady Who Paces. 🙂Up for the late shift again today…..this time I’ve been working so having done an honest days work …it’s straight into helping at supper, getting some evening fresh air ( very exciting as first of time this year!) and then a good push around the home…..mum is now sat in wheelchair and it’s me lying exhausted on the air mattress 🤣🤣
usual supper shenanigans …..the lovely lady from Northumbria spitting out what she didn’t want…..I must remember not to sit down wind or down spit 🤣🤣🤣 …and the Lady Who Paces clearly decided I needed to join the ranks in getting into nightwear….she tried to undress me from my top…could have been a little embarrassing as I had nothing underneath 🫣🫣🫣 thankfully a carer intervened as she’s a strong lady 🤣🤣🤣
I love your insights @sdmhred so many different characters! Lucky you had staff on hand to discourage your very 'helpful' lady haha... I sometimes joke with mum that it would be nice if somebody got me ready for bed 🛌 now I just roam around in my shorts and t-shirt in the evenings so the act of tumbling in at nighttime is so much easierUp for the late shift again today…..this time I’ve been working so having done an honest days work …it’s straight into helping at supper, getting some evening fresh air ( very exciting as first of time this year!) and then a good push around the home…..mum is now sat in wheelchair and it’s me lying exhausted on the air mattress 🤣🤣
usual supper shenanigans …..the lovely lady from Northumbria spitting out what she didn’t want…..I must remember not to sit down wind or down spit 🤣🤣🤣 …and the Lady Who Paces clearly decided I needed to join the ranks in getting into nightwear….she tried to undress me from my top…could have been a little embarrassing as I had nothing underneath 🫣🫣🫣 thankfully a carer intervened as she’s a strong lady 🤣🤣🤣