Our magic bitter sweet moments 🥰🥰🥰

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
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Surrey
Well done @Chizz - sounds quite adventurous cooking to me. Maybe the spices mature and ripen with years!

I cooked a curry for mum in the first month I was living with her and it had the effect @Neveradullday! describes - at 2am 🙈🙈 I’ve avoided them for a year but now introducing some very gentle ones!
 

Eddcorner

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Aug 27, 2020
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I always wonder how mum responds to seeing / hearing about dementia on the media. I don’t say anything unless she does. In the car today she heard abouta funds raising run for dementia on the radio and immediately asked if I would be running for her! She then said how much coverage dementia is getting at the moment - a bizarre moment of clarity and insight. She also said having dementia isn’t anything to make a ‘fuss about’ but needed my help to know where to put her hands on her walker ….and then having been left alone in the loo I discover this ..

we do live in a bizarre world……we did have a good chuckle tho!!!

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Ahhh, my mum has always avoided watching or listening to programmes regarding dementia, tbh I always found them quite distressing too. We just didn't want to be reminded. Not so bad these days but I don't think mum quite makes that connection anymore. Similarly she was quite explicit at the outset about day centres or groups that focused on dementia, she just didn't/doesn't want to be around others with similar challenges. Mum impressed upon me her need for mainstreaming in the community at large but each person is different I guess.

Yep, you're mum is right too about not making a fuss! Wise words indeed... I'm always pleasantly surprised at mum's timing when her brain fires up - usually to put me in my place and reasserting her role in the mother-son dynamic. It's a 'gentle' reminder that she's still the boss, I prefer being told what to do anyway so suits me fine - well most of the time haha ;)
 

sdmhred

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Jan 26, 2022
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Surrey
Mums confabulations are amazing at the moment - I just can’t keep up!

yesterday she woke up in ‘hospital’, had discharged Herself by lunchtime and was back home,,,,,by the evening she was visiting me as a school friend and wanted to tell her parents she was ok and having a sleepover…

by this morning yesterday had been a long journey home from her childhood home….and this evening she’s visiting me as a university friend for dinner ( but why I would then give her personal care who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️)

im exhausted with not knowing who I am and where I am 🤣🤣 I can’t keep up.

I do find it fascinating tho as I can see how bits of our day and conversations have entangled themselves in this interesting life. It’s certainly more busy and interesting than reality.

today has been 2,5 hrs on phone to HMRC and repotting the plants we picked up by the side of the roadside!!
 

Neveradullday!

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Oct 12, 2022
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England
For a carer of a PWD, say in the mid stage, things very slowly get worse for them and we get on with it, of course. All the confabulations, misperceptions etc..
But sometimes it dawns on me just how ill our loved ones are, they've slowly been losing their minds, and it's come to this. How strange it is!

I don't mean it distresses me (way past that) but sometimes I think how odd it all is!

What would we give that they could be in their right minds again? But now, it's best that we let them stay in their new world. And there are still good glimpses of the old person.

Sorry, @sdmhred , just got a bit reflective! Not in a depressed way - I still feel good.
 
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Eddcorner

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Aug 27, 2020
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Mums confabulations are amazing at the moment - I just can’t keep up!

yesterday she woke up in ‘hospital’, had discharged Herself by lunchtime and was back home,,,,,by the evening she was visiting me as a school friend and wanted to tell her parents she was ok and having a sleepover…

by this morning yesterday had been a long journey home from her childhood home….and this evening she’s visiting me as a university friend for dinner ( but why I would then give her personal care who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️)

im exhausted with not knowing who I am and where I am 🤣🤣 I can’t keep up.

I do find it fascinating tho as I can see how bits of our day and conversations have entangled themselves in this interesting life. It’s certainly more busy and interesting than reality.

today has been 2,5 hrs on phone to HMRC and repotting the plants we picked up by the side of the roadside!!
Strange the first thing I picked up on was the plants you liberated... ;) In regards to conversation, oh yes been there! Fact, fiction and fantasy all rolled into one... fortunately I was never cast in the role of villain ;)
 

sdmhred

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Jan 26, 2022
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Surrey
Its a bizarre world we live in! Glad to have others that experience this strange reality we operate in - my friends are great but none yet to experience this - and yes I’m pleased to that I am always a friend as opposed to foe….but for tonight I wish mum would stop being so blinking polite - always A sure sign shes staying with friends In her world.

Your reflections are spot on @Neveradullday!
 

Chizz

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Jan 10, 2023
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Kent
Hi @sdmhred ,
Yes, it throws you when the PWD has a moment of "relevance". My OH sang with a local "operatic society" that put on musicals twice a year, and then she changed and sang with a pro-am opera company (with Covent Garden chorus members taking leading parts) for about 25 years, but a long time ago.

Whilst we were watching the Coronation concert, Andrea Bocelli (tenor) came on and sang "You'll Never Walk Alone" (from the musical Carousel ), and my OH who seemed to be half dozing, sat up and said quite forcefully, "I don't think much of his voice for that song!" 🤣
 

sdmhred

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Jan 26, 2022
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Surrey
Ah that makes me smile @Chizz to think of ur wife perking up to say that. We enjoyed watching the concert and all the different types of music. I notice with mum how she taps her hands & toes when we put music on - more so than pre dementia
 

jennifer1967

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Mar 15, 2020
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Southampton
my husband now likes music, the louder the better which he would never tolerate pre-dementia great for me as i like it loud and next door loves it as they can enjoy it through the walls. hes like a born again teenager
 

Chizz

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Jan 10, 2023
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Kent
I have arranged lots of different playlists through Spotify on the iPad, and "we" choose every morning which to play. There's a great mixture. Our era would be 1960's music, but we have playlists for specific artists/ bands/etc plus music from the shows, and folk music and classical. Music has always been a v important part of my OH's life (she used to play piano (classical) and guitar (folk) and sing (as stated above).
Classical music seems to be most calming, when that is required. My OH will often sign or hum along, but is passed being able to do words and tune at the same time - seems like too much to process - so its one or the other. Sometimes the radio as well. The music allows me to run off and do other jobs round the house or garden - v useful.
 

sdmhred

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Jan 26, 2022
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Surrey
Just had one of those moments - getting mum dressed and she suddenly perks up with ‘aren’t I meant to wear knickers?’ 🙈🙈 oh dear - carer going straight for trousers without any pad, pull up or pants 😱😱 good to see mum cognitively sharp ish today 🤣🤣

oh and another photo - stumbled across this beautiful wild garlic forest! Of course some just had to be liberated for our dinner tonight 😀😀
 

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jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,411
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Southampton
Just had one of those moments - getting mum dressed and she suddenly perks up with ‘aren’t I meant to wear knickers?’ 🙈🙈 oh dear - carer going straight for trousers without any pad, pull up or pants 😱😱 good to see mum cognitively sharp ish today 🤣🤣

oh and another photo - stumbled across this beautiful wild garlic forest! Of course some just had to be liberated for our dinner tonight 😀😀
i put my husbands trousers back to front one day and got his slippers on the wrong feet and hes told me both times and not let me forget about it either
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,048
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South coast
I used to cook "magic meals" when the children were little
No, not that sort
They were meals made up out of leftovers - meals conjured up out of nothing!
When they asked what was for dinner, a "magic meal" sounded exciting
 

sdmhred

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Jan 26, 2022
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Surrey
I must confess we stayed out longer to enjoy the sunshine today so had a Too Good to Go ‘Magic Bag‘ from Costa.

I bet your kids remember those magic dinners @canary!
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,494
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Kent
Your magic dinners @canary sound better that my mother's "wait and see" suppers!

My niece once had a boiler leak where the water seeped down through her store cupboard. The result was that all the paper labels on the tins and canned foodstuffs came off. So they had a cupboard of canned food with no way of knowing what was in the cans. They would pick two or three cans for their evening meal. Pot luck what came out and what they ate together including things you wouldn't want together! Broadens the palate!
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
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Surrey
Exciting day for us - mums new wheels arrived! After cogitating for a while we have bought an all terrain wheelchair with mountain bike wheels!!! 🦽🦽 we love to go into the country ( we like to geocache!) and I often have to leave her as the terrain gets too rocky or bumpy. If you encounter an old lady sat in a wheelchair on her own on a footpath it’s bound to be mum!! We’re hoping this new mean machine will allow her to spread her wings a little!

I don’t think my pushing skills will have got her up this hill to see todays wildlife - but she should see more of the countryside 🥰🥰

in other news I completely failed in my allotted POA task as took the wrong paperwork to the bank 🙈🙈

and sorry to those eating healthy - as we’re by the sea it was fish and chips night!!!
 

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