One Step Forward

[Dave W]

Cheers She

Oh, I'm on my feet. Well, I'm on my bum, sat th the laptop and watching the footie, but you get my drift ...

As I've been keeping a dairy (thanks for the tip on that one), I've been going back over the sequence of events since the first fate, checking what was prescribed when, what reassurances were given, and what monitoring was promised. And the reasons given for prescribing it. (Until 17 Jan, her medical condition was given no cause for coern. Then they changed two lots of medication ...)

So a further stiff email will be leaving the living room later, along with a request for the hospital's complaints procedure. Don't think I'll bother saying please while I'm asking either.

 

[Amy]

Is that "sat on the laptop" Dave, can't be comfortable! Of course you'll say please, I'm sure your mum always told you to remember your manners!
Glad you are still on your feet. I think in your situation I would have been tearing my hair out!
Amy

 

[Dave W]

If my arms were longer ...

... I'd give Amy a hug, and then tear *someone else's* hair out.

Since 16 Jan, a previously physically stable woman has been subjected to 3 changes of medication, which are now being ascribed as the reasons for the faints that have now delayed her discharge for four weeks already, will delay it at least until 27 Feb and may well cost her the place in a good home that has been on hold since 18 January. Not even my Mum would expect me to say 'Please' under the circumstances

 

[May]

Toy throwing.....

Any good tips Dave on how to throw the toys accurately........I see our CPN in the morning to try and coerce (formulate...) some care and discuss meds , and after the evening I've just had, I actually feel like chucking the pram as well........

 

[Dave W]

As you ask ...

Keep notes of every piece of information you are given (decisions made, medications given and withdrawn and reasons for doing so ... everything). When it doesn't work, quote it all back at them. With the best possible grammar, quoting a few authoritative sources (god bless Google), and firmly requesting prompt responses. Get as much in writing as possible (they won't like it, but stick to your guns).

And remember that they have a legal duty of care. Remind them too. As the relative and carer, hold the moral ground. Plant your flag in it, and don't surrender it.

Good luck

 

[Sheila]

And,.. keep all correspondence you get and copies of everything you write, you can quote these back too, including their reference nos etc. Take names of those you speak to both face to face and on the phone. Never think something is too trivial to include in your diary if it worrys you, especially any changes in medications or treatments, the information may be vital later, like Dave is now finding out about those 3 medications. If you dont write down the dates of things. You have no real record of how close together etc things happened and the ensuing results. If you haven't got the info, you can't argue the case so well. I know it shouldn't be necessary, but sadly it is. Our loved ones can't do it for themselves, so we must. Love She. XX

 

[currywurst]

Dear Dave

So sorry to hear about all the problems you are having at the moment but I hope your mum is recovering.

I'm new to the site and I notice from your posts that we are in the same area, and I wondered if you could tell me the name of the home that you are hoping to get your mum into please, and also does it provide EMI care? I am currently waiting to have an assessment along with my mum in the hope that I will receive some respite, the problem is as we live just outside the MK area, mum's respite (if we get some!) will be within Aylesbury Vale area and I would like something in MK even if it means paying for it.

Thank you.

 

[Amy]

OK Dave, where have you gone? Not thrown one too many toys, sent one too many E-mails or drunk one too many bottles I hope. Or maybe the thought of hugging me was all too much for you! Any way I hope you are OK. How are things going with your mum?
Amy

 

[Dave W]

Still here ... and still there ...

Hi

it's ok, I'm still here: just a hectic weekend where I didn't get a chance to log on and update the saga.

Mum will be going back on the original tranquiliser today (chosen as the preferable option as she's tolerated it before), and the hope is that she will be ok for discharge next week - that's the current ambition. No immediate side effects from the Aricept, but they will keep an eye on possible gastric ulceration (she's had this in the past).

So I shall be on the phone to the home in the morning to check the state of play there, and my partner and I will use next weekend to retrieve a few more personal belongings from her house for her (and attempt to rehouse the cat). We didn't manage to get down over the weekend, but I spoke to Mum on the phone and she seemed in reasonable spirits (if entirely inaccurate about where she was!). Talked through the whole medication regime with the consultant by phone today, and now have a clearer understanding, which is a relief.

(As a note to everyone, you must insist on being fully informed - chances are you won't be unless you make it clear that you want to be.)

Just about to settle down with the Winter Olympics and a bit of freelance editing so I can buy the bass guitar I want so I can get on with some home recording sometimes we have to rewards ourselves, eh?

Currywurst - I'll drop you a private message later tonight or tomorrow. In the meantime, you can always use www.csci.org.uk to locate EMI homes in the MK area, but bear in mind at least half of them are block booked by the Council, who allocate all places. Somewhere I have a list that tells you which ones, but it'll take a little while to unearth it in the mountain of info.

Take care of yourselves everyone -
D

 

[May]

Thanks Dave

I went prepared ( learned a lot from you good folk) dates, meds,questions. Did the 'professional' bit, noted all answers for future reference. We may have a way forward, but I'll reserve judgement until it comes to fruition......

 

[Dave W]

Good luck

Well done, May, and fingers crossed for you. I think you'll find in times to come that you'll be glad you made notes of everythingand stood as firm as you could (while taking in as uch advice and knowledge as you can), even if it doesn't feel positive at e time. With hindsight, you'll probably find you will be very, very glad that you did. I do hope things to some kind of fruition for you - the may not be the fruit you expected, but I hope there is at least a crop.

All quiet on the western front here, thankfully, so I'm about to rustle up chorizo and lentils and sit myself down in front of a good DVD with Im Indoors and an old friend. May everyone's evenings pass peacefully - take care everyone.

 

[Dave W]

And another step ...

After a night of vomiting and stomach ache, the Aricept has been withdrawn and Mum is physically much healthier. And after a week on the original anti-psychotic, she has also become considerably calmer. Unless there are any more dilemmas between now and Monday, it is highly probably she will be considered fit for discharge on Monday and will move next week. Apparently, she understands she's moving somewhere nearer to me, and is looking foward to that (even if she doesn't know the real picture, but would only be distressed anyway).

I'msure the move will only bring the next set of dilemmas and horrors, but it looks like the last round are drawing to an end (a mere five months in hospital all told). I'm off to a friend's for the evening and will visit her in the morning (Network Rail allowing, of course).

Thank you to everyone for the support and kind words and support so far, and good luck in your own situations. I'll keep you all posted as the next stage unravels.

 

[Sheila]

Dear Dave, will be thinking of you, hope all goes well. Love She. XX

 

[Dave W]

Must uncross the fingers as I can't play piano!

Mum was in good hysical fettle and very chirpy yesterday - I think the return to a previously tolerated regime must be giving her a boost. And she's knows she might be moving to a room in a big old house in the country this week, and is looking for to it. So it's all down to the review tomorrow, but she could well be nearby by the end of the week. And I shall go and have glass of red wine and try to be calm

 

[Amy]

Hiya Dave,
OK you uncross your fingers and I'll cross mine for you - we can't take any risks.
Pleased things seem to be looking up for mum; hope all goes without a hitch tomorrow, let us know.
Enjoy the wine.
With love
Amy

 

[Dave W]

Time to open a bottle, I think

Well, 6pm today Mum got the all clear for discharge, so she should be moving by the end of the week - I just need to get the Home and the CPN talking to each other to arrange the practicalities, drop off a few more bits (having sewn a few more labels in), tie up a few financials, and we're on to a new chapter.

Absolutely shattered (must be, I spelt that 'aboslutly' at first attempt), so going to chicken out and phone pizza on the grounds that if I serve it with cava and follow it with organic chocolate ice-cream, I might be forgiven. Wish me luck.

 

[nikita]

at last

glad to hear that things are finally getting sorted, heres to another chapter in your's and your families life.

 

[Sheila]

Dear Dave, heres to its all being sorted next week then. Love She. XX

 

[Dave W]

Cheers!

Thank you both - very woozy today (it was a big gin!), but just confirmed the date as being Thursday. Just need to make sure the ward staff sort out transport, sew a few tags in coats, drop a few bits off and we're onto what I guess will be Chapter Three.

Calls for a fag break and a coffee, I reckon ...

 

[Lynne]

Good to hear your news Dave, Happy landings when the day gets here!