1. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Hi Dave,

    Great news. You must be feeling somewhat relieved by now!

    Please keep us posted on the move next week.

    Very best wishes,

    Jude
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Dave, all the best to you and your Mum. Hope it all goes well for both of you. Keep us posted please. Lotsaluv, She. XX
     
  3. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    Cheers

    Jude/She - bless you both. Another 12 hour day at work and I'm just so tired I've come home and cried for half an hour. Too tired to do anything else, and life feels like one 'to do' list where everything on it is for someone else. Must print out Rummy's Carers Bill of Rights and pin it on the wall - I need the reminder on a daily basis right now.

    A weekend of sewing name tags into clothes and moving furniture and stuff ahoy, but at least we get to see an old friend to celebrate his birthday. Will be the first time since last June I've managed to get to see anyone I know outside the city we live in: where did my life go,and will I ever feel like I've got it back? Just have to keep on fighting I guess. (And all this for a woman who visited me once in 26 years because she 'couldn't leave the dog': there are times when - were she capable of understanding it - I could gladly tell her just how unloveable she can be. But then what good would it do? I'd only feel guilty at being spiteful when I could just carry on being better than that.)

    Ho hum ... obviously having a glum day. Think it's time for a gin.

    Dave
    x
     
  4. Wilma

    Wilma Registered User

    Feb 2, 2006
    2
    Chin up dave , have just joined the site and have read your previous info. Sounds like you've been a real star to your mum.
    Now it's time to put yourself first and live life abit like you want / need to.
    You've done your Mum proud.
    Take care, enjoy afew g n t's! [not too many ofcourse.!]

    Regards Wilma xx :p
     
  5. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hi Dave, sounds as if you are in the thick of it.

    Girly advice is usually to soak in the bath, surrounded by candles, and have a good wallow. Don't know what to suggest for the male equivilant. So think I will join you in a G & T. Cheers, take care now, Connie ;)
     
  6. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    The Male Equivalent

    Seems to be a baked spud with bacon and beans, gallons of tea, Desperate Houswives on the Tivo and a long rant about the cultural sterility of Milton Keynes (I'm a guitarist and calligraphy and I live there, so I feel vaguely qualified on the subject, especially having sat through a breakfast seminar today about the lack of youth or non-corporate culture in the city centre - naturally sponsored by a consortium of local businesses, who applauded themselves at the end for having turned up and eaten a breakfast they could afford anyway after listening to two young artists and alternative music promoters who probably had to borrow the bus fare to be there and were so polite you felt like getting them ****ed and telling them to bite the hand that wasn't feeding them). (Oh sh*t, I'm ranting again ...)

    Tea and putting the world to rights, then? Think I'd rather have had the candles and the wallowing, but not sure it works too well in a shower. Tomorrow night should be better (ice-cream and a DVD with the lovely Carol, who's always happy to be our fag-hag if there's Haagan Dazs involved and the film's funny).

    Time for my beauty sleep. God knows I need it!!

    Dave
    xx
     
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Dave, hang on in there, you do a brilliant job you know. Sewing in labels is enough to make anyone cry! Seriously though, try to make a little time for you won't you, we can't have you catching another rotton cold because your not taking good care of yourself now can we. Hope tomorrow the sun shines for you. Luvanhugs, She. XX
     
  8. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    No worries

    Just about to settle down on the sofa with a curry and the Tivo, so maximum relaxation for now. The boss is away till Monday, the inbox is as clear as it'll ever get, and there's tea in the pot. Think I'll cope. Confirmation day tomorrow at the hospital, so I'll keep everyone posted.

    Bless you all, and have a good evening everyone -

    D
    xx
     
  9. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    Here we go ...

    Aricept now started, and offical plan now definite for Tuesday: we'll move things in and make it as homely as we can on Sunday afternoon after an epic bout of sewing in name labels. And then just pray she'll settle - the hospital have had a few more bouts of 'When am I going to go home?' again, although they usually difuse it by asking her which of her homes she wants to go to :)

    Aiming to take her dog to see her next Saturday - do others things this is wise, or more likely to be upsetting (she's always been animal mad: the dog's always mattered far more to her than I have)? At least she's stopped asking about the cat, so I suppose that's one bonus.

    Any hints and tips on 'surviving the transition for carers and relatives' gratefully received, though won't be online again till tomorrow night.

    Enjoy your weekends, everyone.

    D
     
  10. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Dave, my Mum always got a lot of pleasure from the animals. Just let her love it to bits, then when its time to go say it needs to go for a walk to spend a penny and leave it at that. Simple always works best I find, in everything really. Dont try to explain why the dog cant say, just say it needs to go for a tiddle and go! Lotsaluv, She. XX :)
     
  11. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    One day nearer

    First batch of personal bits and pieces delivered, and room looking vaguely homely. Staff were a real pleasure - very welcoming, brought us a tray of tea and biscuits, ked if there was anything we needed a hand with, when was Mum coming, what does she like to be called.

    Long forms to fill in to give some of her background, and I'll go through all the old photos tomorrow night if I get time and put a labelled album together (after another working day and band meeting straight from work - jeez).

    Mum was calmer if pretty confused on Saturday morning, apart from hag a bit of a misunderstood paddy with another patient in the ward on the way out: two women who weren't understanding each other resorting to shouting till we distracted Mum and it blew over. She had a slightly fairly moment Saturday afternoon, but nothing to worry about apparently, and it passed very quickly.

    Final ward review tomorrow and then if no concerns raised the hospital will move her on Tuesday. Hope she doesn't throw a wobbler - we don't know what she understands of the move at all, although she seems to think she's having a holiday in the country. Given she thinks she's been in hospital for years, hopefully the sense of how g the holiday will go on for will be equally vague (although she didn't mention wanting to go home this weekend, which was a relief). As long as the home don't make a meal of 'this is a home', I think we'll be ok.

    Keep those fingers crossed everyone, and thanks She (as always) for such sensible advice

    Dave
     
  12. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    And another step ...

    Well, after the fainting episode on Saturday, they've decided Mum's not ready to move tomorrow and needs to wait to be seen again by the medics (Thursday at earliest).

    So we're back on hold again. Thank God I'm going down the pub this evening. CPN liaising with home to see if they'll go back on hold - after I returned their contract this morning. Argh.
     
  13. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    For the love of ...

    CPN had phoned home and told them not to hold the room. So *I* phoned the home, where I found out the manageress is away until tomorrow and the deputy isn't clear whether formal offer has been made to anyone else as yet (there had been possible interest). Home will phone me tomorow to let me know state of play.

    Despite being in a hospital, it seems my mother can't be seen by a medic until Thursday, and will possibly undergo ECG to see if there's any identifiable reason for fainting attacks.

    I'm being told by ward staff that it's not a possible side effect of Aricept - anyone know any more on that one?

    (She fainted sufficiently scarily enough to be carted off to A&E a couple of weeks ao after a change of blood pressure medication, although this is now being described as 'just one of those things'.)

    Which makes Friday as earliest possible date for move, even if given the all clear. By when we may well have lost the home place and be back at square one. AGAIN.

    It's too absurd to be depressing, but it's endless frustrating. Much as part of me doesn't want to face up to the fact that I'm 'putting my mother in a home', a larger part of me knows this is what is needed for her - she needs 24 hour care, and I'm not in a position to do that. Geting to the end of this stage would also give me some sense of resolution, which I'm feeling badly in need of.

    Ho hum, go and put the wine in the fridge and try to find some wrapping paper for the Valentine's present I only got time to buy at lunchtime. (Guilt monster attack - woken up this morning with tea in bed, lovely card and present from a wonderful partner who never complains, when I'm not even had time to write his card - done in haste while refilling the mugs in the kitchen - thank God I had a biro in my dressing gown!).
     
  14. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hang in there - hope the wine is good (we've nearly finished a bottle!!). We are all in such a mess on this site is that a comfort or what???? Take care BeckyJan
     
  15. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    Well, surprise me ...

    www.aricept.com/3003.php:

    "Some people taking Aricept may experience fainting."

    This is the offical website for Aricept, produced by Pfizer. The patient insert with the medication repeats the warning.

    One UK Mental Health Trust website lists fainting at the top of possible serious side effects, whih should be reported immediately to a doctor or hospital.

    I have just written responsible for my mother's care by email and fax asking some detailed questions. The most recent delay to discharge (ie the week before Monday's current one) was to start her on the drug. The current one is because she fainted. Am I the only one with a whiff of rat in the nostrils here?
     
  16. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Dave,

    My mother tried Aricept initially. It made her very ill with diahorrea, vomiting and fainting spells within 36 hours of starting the drug. Since it was the ONLY medication that my mother was taking, I was amazed that it took the nurses a fortnight to work that out for themselves! In the meantime, she was in bed and in a terrible state. Fortunately, I was came home at the end of the fortnight and immediately stopped the medication myself. She recovered within a day or two - and she certainly didn't need an ECG to figure out what was wrong!

    In my opinion, the main thing you need to do is to is to get this room organised for her asap - and stop the Aricept for now. Once she is in the Nursing Home, then you could try other drugs such as Ebixa. The main thing now is to get her settled.

    I think it might be time to start jumping up and down a bit, rather than listening to all these 'professional' opinions. Just go with your gut feelings for now.

    Jude
     
  17. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    Toy throwing time

    Threw all available toys way out of the pram at all parties last night by email, with delivery and read receipts all round. Quoted Pfizer's own warnings re possible side effects at them, especially given picture is mostly vascular. Still waiting to hear from Home Manageress as to whether room still a possibility or not. Consultant back today, and will hopefully have encountered her inbox by now. They're certainly aware they have a hopping mad relative to handle.
     
  18. Geraldine

    Geraldine Registered User

    Oct 17, 2003
    143
    Nottingham
    Hi Dave

    It seems to me that as you have had a place ready for about a month now and maybe lost it becuase of someone's incompetance or indecision that when they do eventually give your Mum the green light make it quite clear that you will not be rushed into finding another placement until she has been well and stable for at least a week.

    Geraldine
     
  19. Dave W

    Dave W Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    268
    Bucks
    And another step forward

    Home have lost a member of staff, so room not being marketed till replacement in place and trained. Room still therefore ok for time being. Mum being taken off current tranquiliser, as medic's opinion is that this is the possible cause of the fainting episodes. Means review to go will be a week on Monday (27/2). So I'll phone back the home tomorrow am and see where we go from there.

    There are probably rules about swearing on the boards, so I'll sign off and get a coffee ...
     
  20. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Dave, hope you enjoyed your coffee!......... ;) Well it looks as if the gods are smiling on you at present about the room anyway. Hope it all soon gets sorted. You must feel you dont know whether your on your head or your heels at present. Love She. XX
     

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