Oh brother

[Tin]

Just seems that mum's days are now taken up with two things, first being the constant wandering in and out of the house and I have to stop it by locking the front door. second pacing to and from the front door, mum pulling at the handle and talking to someone, telling them to b***** off we have no more money and then the dreaded time to go home, take me home pleas and endlessly asking for cigarettes and that's it.

Out and about this morning, same as every morning. Today she is complaining of knee and ankle pain, but wow she will not sit down.

Again I am beginning to question if the anti depressant she is taking is just increasing her restlessness. I have spoken to gp about this and he claims that it is just her dementia moving on and if we stop the medication then she will become overly obsessed with things again, but she is obsessed now! Going to try and distract her with some ironing.

 

[Tin]

At 62 if I did the amount of walking my mother does every day, I would every now and then collapse on my bed and sleep much longer than normal. Not my 82 year old mum, went to bed last night at 10.30 and was up around 3am this morning, probably because of a bathroom visit and did not go back to sleep till 4.30am. She was then up before me this morning. Another busy day today and bed at 10.15pm. Where on earth does this physical energy come from! Going to buy one of those mile counters to put on her.

 

[TrixieB]

Is he the baby of the family?
My brother is and Mum thinks the sun shines out of his proverbial.
Never mind the fact that he does nothing for her, and conned her into giving him her credit card and PIN no, and racked up GBP3000 in debt and the bank was about to get debt collectors onto Mum & Dad to repay.
I only discovered it all when Mum was about to go into hospital and I was sorting all her bills.
He has almost paid it all back.

I thought I had written your post for a moment! Exactly the same situation here - my brother stole my parent's bank cards and helped himself to over £7000 before I caught him, but that was only after he conned his best friend, who was dying of cancer,out of half a million pounds. He is currently in prison but slithering his way back out via open prison. He's never showed remorse or apologised, but my parents have forgotten all this and believe all his lies sent via other demented relatives. It's an absolute nightmare - whilst I've dealt with their increasing ill health and dementia over the last 10 years - he's done all this and the sun shines out of him! I just don't get it.

 

[Tin]

Anyone got anything to say about washable incontinence pants? I am thinking of ordering a pair to try out on mum, daytime only. We've had some success with wearing disposables during night, but cannot get mum to wear in daytime when I am finding she is having more and more little accidents. The ones I have seen are not inexpensive, but like most things these days Dementia has become a bottomless money pit.

 

[Spiro]

Ask your GP to refer your Mum to the continence service. Once she's been assessed then the pads are free of charge - I'm not sure about the pants. Sad to say , but incontinence will only get worse as the disease progresses.

 

[Tin]

Ask your GP to refer your Mum to the continence service. Once she's been assessed then the pads are free of charge - I'm not sure about the pants. Sad to say , but incontinence will only get worse as the disease progresses.

We have the pads, she just will not wear these at any time. So I continue to buy small pads from chemist, I tell her these are sanitary towels, but often find these torn up or pushed down toilet, chaffing is becoming a problem too, she tells me they scratch her. Pull up disposables at night are working.

Its hard to get a happy balance which is why I'm thinking of buying cotton washables. In the photograph they look like ordinary knickers. Just wanted to try and get some feedback on them before I buy.

 

[Tin]

Really bad weekend so pleased its over. Everything has gone wrong, mum just did not stop for a second. Obsession with dog way over the top and her in and out of the house! By 9pm last night she was fast asleep on sofa so got her into bed, at midnight she was up in and out of my bedroom so had to give her a sleeping pill-worked, but with this comes the morning after bladder problems - lot of floor mopping! Only interested in one thing and that is getting herself and dog "out of here". To me, everything she plays with or does like the walking, garden gate, car, front door, asking the dog same question. All points to a gut feeling of wanting to leave here, but where she wants to go I do not know.

We have an appointment with gp on 9th May, I am really desperate to sort out this restlessness problem. How naïve am I? I really thought that by now mum would be easier to look after and calmer, but it doesn't work like that, in mum's case the more the dementia moves on the worse things get.

 

[Ann Mac]

Really bad weekend so pleased its over. Everything has gone wrong, mum just did not stop for a second. Obsession with dog way over the top and her in and out of the house! By 9pm last night she was fast asleep on sofa so got her into bed, at midnight she was up in and out of my bedroom so had to give her a sleeping pill-worked, but with this comes the morning after bladder problems - lot of floor mopping! Only interested in one thing and that is getting herself and dog "out of here". To me, everything she plays with or does like the walking, garden gate, car, front door, asking the dog same question. All points to a gut feeling of wanting to leave here, but where she wants to go I do not know.

We have an appointment with gp on 9th May, I am really desperate to sort out this restlessness problem. How naïve am I? I really thought that by now mum would be easier to look after and calmer, but it doesn't work like that, in mum's case the more the dementia moves on the worse things get.

Oh Tin - you poor thing Agree especially with the bit that I've made bold and underlined - I also keep thinking that Mil surely must get to the stage where some issues can't get any worse and might even disappear - and each time she proves me wrong Is there any chance that it would be worth you asking for an assessment, an admission into a hospital where they can try and find something to help with this awful 'on the go all the time' situation? I know (too darn well) that its a fight to get that sort of help, but now we have finally managed to get it for Mil, I actually have hope that they will be able to get the medication balance right and help her. They do seem concerned about Mil's constant pacing and non-stop agitated fixations and several staff have commented that its an issue that she obviously needs some relief from, so the situation with your Mum should warrent similar support, Hun. You can only ask xxxx

 

[Toddleo]

I am really desperate to sort out this restlessness problem. How naïve am I? I really thought that by now mum would be easier to look after and calmer, but it doesn't work like that, in mum's case the more the dementia moves on the worse things get.

Tin, what a lovley long thread...I have not read all of it to be honest, I skipped to the end, but my eye was caught by the restlessness bit. I don't know your mum's situation, but my mum's restlessness was diagnosed as Akathesia, and was a result of a side effect from the Risperidone (which has now been stopped) We're in the midst of trying new meds, and have noted a small improvement so far 6 days in. Mum was like that little pink Duracel bunny - you know the one, no sitting or napping for her all day long..........completely exhausting.

 

[Tin]

Tin, what a lovley long thread...I have not read all of it to be honest, I skipped to the end, but my eye was caught by the restlessness bit. I don't know your mum's situation, but my mum's restlessness was diagnosed as Akathesia, and was a result of a side effect from the Risperidone (which has now been stopped) We're in the midst of trying new meds, and have noted a small improvement so far 6 days in. Mum was like that little pink Duracel bunny - you know the one, no sitting or napping for her all day log..........completely exhausting.

Been reading your thread too, noticed a few similarities and then I googled Akathesia-interesting. My mum is not taking Risperidone, just Fluoxetine anti depressants and in the past the doctor has said that the restlessness is probably just her Dementia moving on, so since this comment a few months ago I have digested it and decided that there must be something else going on, its intense and just gets more so as the day progresses, complains of aches in knees and ankles, but cannot stop like your duracel bunny! My only concern is that in order to'slow' mum down it may need diazepam and in the past we have not had much success with this medication.

 

[Toddleo]

Tin, it's such a tough call isn't it, what's the medication vs what's the Alzheimers progressing? I suppose we can only be guided by the experts (and my local elderly mental health team have been good) The Trazadone which mum is now on does seem to have improved the Duracel Bunny behaviour somewhat, and she is also a bit more "with it" since the Risperidone has been stopped. Good luck with your own situation and keep us posted. Regards

 

[doodle1]

Hi Tin we tried the cotton pants - they are really nice and soft and the really thick pad fits into them securely. Would say give it a go. And they look much more like normal pants and aren't quite so harsh as tena pants.hope this helps.

 

[Tin]

Hi Tin we tried the cotton pants - they are really nice and soft and the really thick pad fits into them securely. Would say give it a go. And they look much more like normal pants and aren't quite so harsh as tena pants.hope this helps.

So pants have finally turned up, only one pair, did not want to purchase more in case they were inappropriate or don't work. They look ok and with built in/stitched pad they are completely washable. Environmentally I hope these work, but big plus would be if mum accepted them as normal knickers, we shall see.

Mum's tastes seem to have changed again, she has suddenly gone off the sweet milky coffee with a drop of baileys in it - says it does not taste the same and again she does not like her prawn cocktail. Apparently I am also giving her too much to eat, claiming she only has a small appetite, love this statement as up to last week I could not get the meals ready quick enough for her and we are talking many in between snacks.

Have not solved the restless wandering to and from garden gate, but I have managed to at least get her to not go as far as the gate, now leaving car door unlocked and she is getting distracted by this and sitting in the car, at least she is getting to sit down and rest her weary legs.

 

[Shedrech]

Hi Tin
like that spider, you try, try and try again
wonder what the webs we weave would look like?
best wishes to you both

 

[Lavender45]

Your mention of change of tastes and appetite are ringing bells with me. Mum still has an Easter egg. Not so very long ago that would have been gone quicker than it would take most people to unwrap the egg! My mum is saying she can't eat too many sweet things, this I true, she's diabetic, but she's had a very sweet tooth all her life, has been diabetic for a number of years and its never stopped her before (regardless of whatever I've said).

The advice I've picked up here on TP was smaller and more frequent snacks rather than a main meal, but I cannot get her to snack, she is never hungry, doesn't want sweet, doesn't want savory and hasn't for weeks. Its becoming a battle to make sure she eats enough.

My mum could drink tea by the gallon, but now she refuses to drink between meals unless I'm lucky and she won't always finish a drink with her meal any trying to persuade her to drink results in verbal aggression. Yesterday she proved she could go in for physical aggression too so I'll be wary in future. Its hard to know what to do!

I had no idea 12mths ago what a challenge dementia could be!

 

[Tin]

Often wonder what Gordon Ramsey would make of my kitchen nightmare!! I have gone back to small dishes every 2 hours, to hopefully find what she now likes. Soup is off the menu because she will not take it without bread, problem there is that the bread is wolfed down and suddenly no room for soup!! Man cannot live on bread alone?!!

Weaving cobwebs is so right, I also think I am creating my own loops and repetitions, I am so keen to get all my daily chores done in the mornings so I'm free to deal with mum at her worse time in the afternoons. This morning I think I changed pet water bowl 3 times! and yesterday I changed a perfectly clean bed! Got to watch myself.

 

[Tin]

Mum is repeating everything I say, for example - I say take your coffee into the sitting room and she says Take my coffee into the sitting room? She has been doing this for a while now. Don't know what it means, not really worrying me, no answers, this is dementia.

A surprise this morning, every day after our shop we come home and I do a full breakfast for mum. Started at 11 this morning, mushrooms in frying pan and sausages in the oven. Mum usually keeps an eye on mushrooms, well really she eats them and when I go back into kitchen pan empty! This morning went back into kitchen to find mum was frying an egg and keeping an eye on the suasages, so I have left her to it. I'll just do the clear up.

red swigily line. If it appears when I sumbit this post, then sorry, it means nothing, I must have touched a key by mistake.

 

[brambles]

Hi Tin,

My mum has just started repeating what I say to her, not all the time, but often.

I think it is because she can't think what to say but wants to keep the conversation going. She does it particularly when I ask her a question, repeating it back to me. maybe that's because she can't think of an answer.

Can be quite funny though. If I ask her if she would like me to help her have a shower, she will ask me the same. I am then stuck, because whatever I answer she will repeat and I am not any more keen on mum helping me get a shower than she is of me helping her.

brambles x

 

[Tin]

Hi Tin,

My mum has just started repeating what I say to her, not all the time, but often.

I think it is because she can't think what to say but wants to keep the conversation going. She does it particularly when I ask her a question, repeating it back to me. maybe that's because she can't think of an answer.

Can be quite funny though. If I ask her if she would like me to help her have a shower, she will ask me the same. I am then stuck, because whatever I answer she will repeat and I am not any more keen on mum helping me get a shower than she is of me helping her.

brambles x

Think you are absolutely right about wanting to keep the conversation going, although my mum has been very chatty for a while now, pre dementia she was such a chatterbox, she would often fill the silence. If we were in a room together and I was reading a book, she was always asking me if I was enjoying my book!

 

[Ann Mac]

Mum is repeating everything I say, for example - I say take your coffee into the sitting room and she says Take my coffee into the sitting room? She has been doing this for a while now. Don't know what it means, not really worrying me, no answers, this is dementia.

Tin and Brambles, thats called 'echolalia' - its something I came across several times when I worked supporting people with Learning disabilities, and my own nephew (severly autistic) communicates verbally in that fashion for the vast majority of the time. When I read your post, I also had a faint recollection of coming across that term in something that I'd read somewhere, about dementia, so I went and had a look. I've found it mentioned specifically as a recognised symptom in connection with Frontotemporal Dementia, and I've added the article link to this post. I'm not sure if having the info will help, but it did occur to me that meds prescribed for one form of dementia can sometimes create more problems if given to someone when the diagnosis may not be right, so thoght that maybe if you take the info to a consultant/doctor, it could be useful? Fingers crossed, anyway xxxx

http://patient.info/doctor/frontotemporal-dementia