new to all this, mums dementia, using a laptop, finding this wonderful site. so hope I get all the technical stuff right. my mum moved in with me 5 months ago. much of what I read on this site I have experienced. needless to say I am so tired. mum has obssessions and two of these are the most annoying and upsetting: along with my mum came her little dog, not a problem in itself, but mum and the dog seem to be one she sets a place for it at the table, continually giving it her food, plus filling up its own bowl with normal dog food, all such a waste. can't get her to settle in bed at night without the dog but the dog seems quite happy to share the cats basket! second obsession is with my brother, she can't bear to be away from him and wants me to call him all the time, I mean almost every minute day or night. I have put a disconnected phone at side of her bed and she now leaves 'air' messages for him through the night, but daytime she's contrieving excuses to call him. my siblings live 100 miles away. the decision to move her in with me was because they are already tied up looking after inlaws. realise there are no answers to all this, just wanted to get it off my chest. as I type this, mum is trying to get the dog to go to bed with her, it won't go, quite happy in sitting room with cat. think mum's is getting jealous of cat/dog relationship! so here goes, going to try and post this
novice
- Thread starter Tin
- Start date
Hi and welcome to TP Novice.
We all understand how you feel. We all came to the caring role not knowing what was ahead of us and boy oh boy do we get a lot of difficult to deal with problems.
When you come to start posting, which I hope you will soon, post in the section under the heading support for other members. There is then a sub section list and click on the one - I care for a person with dementia. This is where your post will be seen by a great many posters and any question or advice you may have will be answered.
When you have time have a look around at all the other parts of the forum. Glad you joined us and feel assured your Mother's behaviour is quite normal for a dementia sufferer.
Take care,
Jay
We all understand how you feel. We all came to the caring role not knowing what was ahead of us and boy oh boy do we get a lot of difficult to deal with problems.
When you come to start posting, which I hope you will soon, post in the section under the heading support for other members. There is then a sub section list and click on the one - I care for a person with dementia. This is where your post will be seen by a great many posters and any question or advice you may have will be answered.
When you have time have a look around at all the other parts of the forum. Glad you joined us and feel assured your Mother's behaviour is quite normal for a dementia sufferer.
Take care,
Jay
Firstly,Tin I’m glad that you, like so many of us, have found this wonderful site; so a big welcome.
As you will have soon found out, there is a wealth of practical advice on tap.
We might not always have a solution to your problems but it does help to get it off your chest before melt-down cuts in.
I’m so sorry; but I had to smile about your mother and her little dog – not for any unkind reason, but because I could easily become just like your mother - if my mind failed me.
I’m another small dog groupie, so know exactly how she feels.
Once the mind fails, one loses absolute control over nearly every aspect of one’s life.
But your mother can still have total control of her pet. It eats, sleeps and even defecates at her say-so.
No wonder she in jealous of the cat! There is rebellion in the ranks!
However, if you are forced to choose between what the dog prefers, and what your mother wants, maybe it would be best if Mum wins hands down, if it keeps her contented.
The little dog will soon get used to sleeping in her room again, (even on her bed). And the cat will have its basket back.
I can’t come up with a suggestion about the constant need to phone your brother – but I bet someone else can! So please keep posting.
As you will have soon found out, there is a wealth of practical advice on tap.
We might not always have a solution to your problems but it does help to get it off your chest before melt-down cuts in.
I’m so sorry; but I had to smile about your mother and her little dog – not for any unkind reason, but because I could easily become just like your mother - if my mind failed me.
I’m another small dog groupie, so know exactly how she feels.
Once the mind fails, one loses absolute control over nearly every aspect of one’s life.
But your mother can still have total control of her pet. It eats, sleeps and even defecates at her say-so.
No wonder she in jealous of the cat! There is rebellion in the ranks!
However, if you are forced to choose between what the dog prefers, and what your mother wants, maybe it would be best if Mum wins hands down, if it keeps her contented.
The little dog will soon get used to sleeping in her room again, (even on her bed). And the cat will have its basket back.
I can’t come up with a suggestion about the constant need to phone your brother – but I bet someone else can! So please keep posting.
thank you for your very technical advice, I will try! everything I do is by accident and then I forget what I did, think dementia is infectious! got note book and pen at my side from now. not sure if you'll get this.
I know, so you can understand why smoked salmon and fillet steak are now off the menu! I have to find the funny side this horrible illness takes many casualties along the way.
Seems you are stressed, not dementia.
I gave to my mom a dog on her early stage, she loved the dog as a daughter. Dog helped me to calm her sundowning. She overfeed it too. Trouble come when she worsened and forgot water and food to it. I keep vet and GP knowing what was going with dog, in case of disiases. Now mom is in CH and dog lives with me.
About phones call: can your brother answer machine message calm her? Or some pre recorded message?
thank you for answering. we had the answer phone at the beginning, about a month ago she started misdialling and so you can imagine all the irrate people I had to deal with. recorded message for whatever reason doesn't work. so i'm trying to persuade my brother to download skpe, maybe seeing his face might work. you are right, the dog is her child.
I like the idea of a tape recording of your brother he can't be expected to be available as often as your mum wants him to be.
Could you sell mum the idea of the dog needing a special feeder now so he/she doesn't get ill.
Something like this maybe.
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q...&qpvt=automatic+pet+feeder+for+dogs&FORM=IGRE
Other feeders are available.
Could you sell mum the idea of the dog needing a special feeder now so he/she doesn't get ill.
Something like this maybe.
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q...&qpvt=automatic+pet+feeder+for+dogs&FORM=IGRE
Other feeders are available.
Let her overfeed the dog, it is her baby, her best friend, her safety blanket. It is a phase. If you are worried about dog health, walk or play with it.
If you can, tell her to give food after dinner, not during. (To not have a dog begging while you ate).
If you can, tell her to give food after dinner, not during. (To not have a dog begging while you ate).
