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No funeral for wife

Pheasant

New member
Apr 2, 2020
4
My mum died last week and we can not have a funeral due to my dad being in lockdown. He has mild dementia symptoms, mainly muddled. He is very upset about not having a funeral for her. Does anyone have experience of ways we can commemorate mums life in the absence of a funeral?
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,453
N Ireland
Hello and welcome @JuneJonesqqqqqq. I hope you find the forum a supportive place.

That is sad news and may I express my condolences. In my region(NI) people in this position are giving their details to the local BBC News so that their loved one doesn't become just another statistic.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,051
Yorkshire
hello and a warm welcome to DTP
such a sad time for your family, my condolences on losing your mum

I appreciate there are restrictions at the moment, maybe your family could plan a memorial service or get together for the future ...
I'm thinking too of creating an album of pictures of your mum's life, maybe with stories from family and friends to go with the pictures ... making a collection of her favourite songs, poems, readings from books she loved ... possibly drawing out a family tree with photos of the folk on it ...
given the post is still being delivered, might you find a slim notebook, cover it in a collage of pictures that link to your mum's life, not precious photos, then ask your dad to write a few words on the opening page and send the notebook around family and friends asking them to add words or pictures about his wife, whatever they feel is fitting ... maybe include a list of names and addresses (be careful about the order, maybe alphabetical?) or sticky address labels so folk know who to pass the book onto or ask each to return to you or your dad first (then maybe copy the pages just in case it goes astray)
 
Last edited:

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,215
My mum died last week and we can not have a funeral due to my dad being in lockdown. He has mild dementia symptoms, mainly muddled. He is very upset about not having a funeral for her. Does anyone have experience of ways we can commemorate mums life in the absence of a funeral?
When my mother-in-law died in 2018, family members didn't have a funeral we had a direct cremation, with no service, no mourners. At a later date, we had a family wake, no outsiders, at our home. Everyone brought photos and memories of my mother-in-law. We had food from Waitrose entertaining which was pre ordered. The afternoon went well and it was much better and cheaper than a funeral for just a few mourners
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,236
Memorial Service, held when and where all can attend.
All I can suggest.

Bod
 

Pheasant

New member
Apr 2, 2020
4
Hello and welcome @JuneJonesqqqqqq. I hope you find the forum a supportive place.

That is sad news and may I express my condolences. In my region(NI) people in this position are giving their details to the local BBC News so that their loved one doesn't become just another statistic.
Thank you, that’s really helpful, I didn’t know about this
 

Pheasant

New member
Apr 2, 2020
4
When my mother-in-law died in 2018, family members didn't have a funeral we had a direct cremation, with no service, no mourners. At a later date, we had a family wake, no outsiders, at our home. Everyone brought photos and memories of my mother-in-law. We had food from Waitrose entertaining which was pre ordered. The afternoon went well and it was much better and cheaper than a funeral for just a few mourners
Thank you, that’s a good idea and less confusing for dad than a large gathering
 

Pheasant

New member
Apr 2, 2020
4
hello and a warm welcome to DTP
such a sad time for your family, my condolences on losing your mum

I appreciate there are restrictions at the moment, maybe your family could plan a memorial service or get together for the future ...
I'm thinking too of creating an album of pictures of your mum's life, maybe with stories from family and friends to go with the pictures ... making a collection of her favourite songs, poems, readings from books she loved ... possibly drawing out a family tree with photos of the folk on it ...
given the post is still being delivered, might you find a slim notebook, cover it in a collage of pictures that link to your mum's life, not precious photos, then ask your dad to write a few words on the opening page and send the notebook around family and friends asking them to add words or pictures about his wife, whatever they feel is fitting ... maybe include a list of names and addresses (be careful about the order, maybe alphabetical?) or sticky address labels so folk know who to pass the book onto or ask each to return to you or your dad first (then maybe copy the pages just in case it goes astray)
Thank you, that’s really got me thinking, very creative way of celebrating mums life in this current climate
 

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