New on here i care for mother in law recently diagnosed with dementia

[lindseymarierichardson]

Hi, I'm Lindsey I care for my lovely mother in law who has recently been diagnosed with dementia. Unfortunately, she has had a nasty fall at home and fractured her left ribs. After a meeting at her home today as she still wants her independence quite a few things will be placed around her home to enable her to feel safer. I'm just wondering if anyone could assist which would be the best wrist/necklace alarm fall detector we should go for. Also, my mother in law has become incontinent after her fall and I was just wondering if any of you or anyone you are caring for has experienced this.

Any advice would be so much appreciated. Thank you.

 

[Jessie5]

Hi Lindsey. I’m sorry you find yourself here, but welcome!

I’m not sure if the same everywhere, but when looking for things to keep Mum safe at home we contacted the local authority telecare team. Who were brilliant, we were self funding but they came round and installed an alarm and a fitted a key safe and offered advice on other technologies that were available. We paid a subscription monthly direct to the alarm company. And I think the key safe was free. (Alarm company had key safe code which they can give to emergency service if needed) . Key safe also a god send for carers coming in and volunteer drivers who took her to day care.

 

[Kevinl]

Welcome to the forum.
K

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

Hi Jessie, thank you ever so much for this reply. I will definitely look into this. I will need all the advice/help to manage mums needs. Many thanks.

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

Welcome to the forum.
K

Thank you Kevin.

 

[phill]

Hi, I'm Lindsey I care for my lovely mother in law who has recently been diagnosed with dementia. Unfortunately, she has had a nasty fall at home and fractured her left ribs. After a meeting at her home today as she still wants her independence quite a few things will be placed around her home to enable her to feel safer. I'm just wondering if anyone could assist which would be the best wrist/necklace alarm fall detector we should go for. Also, my mother in law has become incontinent after her fall and I was just wondering if any of you or anyone you are caring for has experienced this.

Any advice would be so much appreciated. Thank you.

Regarding incontinence, there will be a local NHS team called Bladder & Bowel Clinic, or something similar. They’ll assess her, advise what incontinence products would suit her best, and arrange for them to be prescribed and delivered. They’ll also advise whether any dietary or lifestyle changes would alleviate the incontinence.

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

Regarding incontinence, there will be a local NHS team called Bladder & Bowel Clinic, or something similar. They’ll assess her, advise what incontinence products would suit her best, and arrange for them to be prescribed and delivered. They’ll also advise whether any dietary or lifestyle changes would alleviate the incontinence.

Regarding incontinence, there will be a local NHS team called Bladder & Bowel Clinic, or something similar. They’ll assess her, advise what incontinence products would suit her best, and arrange for them to be prescribed and delivered. They’ll also advise whether any dietary or lifestyle changes would alleviate the incontinence.

Regarding incontinence, there will be a local NHS team called Bladder & Bowel Clinic, or something similar. They’ll assess her, advise what incontinence products would suit her best, and arrange for them to be prescribed and delivered. They’ll also advise whether any dietary or lifestyle changes would alleviate the incontinence.

Thanks very much Phil. I'm told Occupational Health have referred us to the nearest Incontinence team. I have everything in stocks for her ie.. oil sheet adult nappies etc.... wet sheet. I'm just trying to make her as comfortable as possible with minimum disruption. I don't want her thinking I'm taking all her independence away. We had a positive meeting with the COTT Team yesterday so hopefully she will return home when everything is in place.

 

[phill]

Thanks very much Phil. I'm told Occupational Health have referred us to the nearest Incontinence team. I have everything in stocks for her ie.. oil sheet adult nappies etc.... wet sheet. I'm just trying to make her as comfortable as possible with minimum disruption. I don't want her thinking I'm taking all her independence away. We had a positive meeting with the COTT Team yesterday so hopefully she will return home when everything is in place.

You might want to get some decaffeinated coffee and decaffeinated teabags in as well - apparently they are better than ordinary coffee and tea for folk with continence problems, and the continence nurses advise them to make this switch.

 

[Jessie5]

My Mum lived successfully at home for at least 4 years after diagnosis. Sadly she eventually forgot what the alarm did and started to wander so is now in a home. But alarm gave huge peace of mind for quite a while.

If she’s coming out of hospital ask about whether there is any care available whilst she’s getting back on her feet. My Mum had a TIA and had 6 weeks of carers coming in afterwards to help. This was arranged through the hospital rather than social services and was free.

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

You might want to get some decaffeinated coffee and decaffeinated teabags in as well - apparently they are better than ordinary coffee and tea for folk with continence problems, and the continence nurses advise them to make

My Mum lived successfully at home for at least 4 years after diagnosis. Sadly she eventually forgot what the alarm did and started to wander so is now in a home. But alarm gave huge peace of mind for quite a while.

If she’s coming out of hospital ask about whether there is any care available whilst she’s getting back on her feet. My Mum had a TIA and had 6 weeks of carers coming in afterwards to help. This was arranged through the hospital rather than social services and was free.

Thank you Jessie. Mum is living with us until all adaptations are done in her home. Social Care are ringing me back with some form of assistance but not very much due to the adaptations mum will have going forward. Pretty useless really. But I've taken all the help I can get.

 

[Rayreadynow]

If you are self funding then you will get the smallest amount of help from the LA.

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

If you are self funding then you will get the smallest amount of help from the LA.

Hi Ray, we aren't self funding we have had alot of support from our local COTT Team. They will do their best to make sure we get what mum needs.

 

[Rayreadynow]

Hi Ray, we aren't self funding we have had alot of support from our local COTT Team. They will do their best to make sure we get what mum needs.

is that CITT ? or COTT? just proves that self-funders get little to no support.

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

Hi all. Does anyone know how long adult care can keep a case file open. As previous messages mum had a fall and adaptations are being put in place hander bars steps etc.... to make it safer for mum to return home. Adult care have rang and advised if mum isn't in her home by next week or week after, they will close the case. They did say they will reopen once mum is home but I will then go on a list. I would of thought Dementia patients would be priority 🤔

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I would of thought Dementia patients would be priority

If only. People with dementia come last.

Mum is living with us until all adaptations are done in her home.

And that is why. As far as social services are concerned, your mum is completely safe and looked after by you, so definitely not a priority as they see things.

Social services are desperately stretched so they have to prioritise and will deal with someone 'home alone' and at risk before your mum I'm afraid.

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

I understand they are stretched but when you have worked all your life and paid into the system and then struck down with thos awful disease and ran her own company for 48yrs it's really frustrating and not acceptable. Mum is with us as she cannot get out of bed so of course she is staying with me but I have a job too and a house to run. So I can't accept she's not getting help.

 

[maggie6445]

I understand they are stretched but when you have worked all your life and paid into the system and then struck down with thos awful disease and ran her own company for 48yrs it's really frustrating and not acceptable. Mum is with us as she cannot get out of bed so of course she is staying with me but I have a job too and a house to run. So I can't accept she's not getting help.

Hi @lindseymarierichardson . Sorry to hear about your mum. Welcome to the world if carers ! Sadly social services will let us get on with it. You will need to give ss a date when your mum will return home and tell them you can longer have her ,if there's any chance of her being prioritised . Very harsh and the system divides caring families. Hardly social care!
Good luck.

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

Hi @lindseymarierichardson . Sorry to hear about your mum. Welcome to the world if carers ! Sadly social services will let us get on

with it. You will need to give ss a date when your mum will return home and tell them you can longer have her ,if there's any chance of her being prioritised . Very harsh and the system divides caring families. Hardly social care!
Good luck.

Hi Maggie thank you ever so much fir your advice. I'm just a little miffed at the moment 😞

 

[Jessie5]

I can understand how you feel. It is shocking when you first encounter how on your own you are. I’m 12 years in and am still shocked how rubbish it all is.

You really have to be firm and shout loudly. Be absolutely clear that you are only looking after her temporarily whilst care is put in place and you need them to act asap. Definitely give them a date (even if you don’t plan to stick to it).

 

[lindseymarierichardson]

I can understand how you feel. It is shocking when you first encounter how on your own you are. I’m 12 years in and am still shocked how rubbish it all is.

You really have to be firm and shout loudly. Be absolutely clear that you are only looking after her temporarily whilst care is put in place and you need them to act asap. Definitely give them a date (even if you don’t plan to stick to it).

What s great idea Jessie. I'll ring them back tomorrow morning. It's just our luck that we have a part time case officer. X