Hi, this is my first time on Talking Point. I believe my mum has dementia but she has not been diagnosed and refuses point blank to go to doctors. Any suggestions how I deal with this - me and my sisters just want to get help for her but last time I suggested visiting the doctor she got very angry and nasty and we ended having a huge argument despite me trying to remain calm. Anyone else been or currently in this situation please?
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- Thread starter PJL
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Hi PJL
I faced a similar problem a few years ago with my Mum's diagnosis. In the end I went to the Drs myself and told them what I suspected. I told them I wanted Mum assessed but did not want her upset as I suspected she knew something was wrong but was frightened. I also wanted her to be treated with respect following the results, which I had a fair idea would confirm Alzheimer's dementia. I suggested I could get Mum in for a general MOT and the test could be part of that. The Dr was very understanding and agreed, the ruse meant the test was done with the minimum of fuss, and Mum was referred on to a specialist clinic. Hope this helps and you can source some assistance soon
I faced a similar problem a few years ago with my Mum's diagnosis. In the end I went to the Drs myself and told them what I suspected. I told them I wanted Mum assessed but did not want her upset as I suspected she knew something was wrong but was frightened. I also wanted her to be treated with respect following the results, which I had a fair idea would confirm Alzheimer's dementia. I suggested I could get Mum in for a general MOT and the test could be part of that. The Dr was very understanding and agreed, the ruse meant the test was done with the minimum of fuss, and Mum was referred on to a specialist clinic. Hope this helps and you can source some assistance soon
The doctor did a memory test while Mum was getting checked for something else but when the appointment came through she refused to go. I called them and they are used to this so they came to mum's home which was fine as she didn't have to go to the psychiatric part of the hospital. She gets really angry if the A or D words are mentioned so she was told what is happening to her, ie that her heart is letting her brain down in short.
The medical profession have been very diplomatic, kind, caring and respectful of mum's needs in this respect.
The medical profession have been very diplomatic, kind, caring and respectful of mum's needs in this respect.
Many thanks. I have tried to get mum to doctors under all sorts of pretences. I believe she knows there is something wrong and is terrified of being put in hospital despite our reassurances. She has a problem with her leg which is very painful and has only just made a appointment, again fear of going into hospital. People keep telling me to go over her head and make appointment and drag her there. I can't do that and it does;t seem right. I think she needs to agree that she needs help before we can do anything. I am so frustrated but sad too because my mum has 'disappeared'!!
Hi PJL
I faced a similar problem a few years ago with my Mum's diagnosis. In the end I went to the Drs myself and told them what I suspected. I told them I wanted Mum assessed but did not want her upset as I suspected she knew something was wrong but was frightened. I also wanted her to be treated with respect following the results, which I had a fair idea would confirm Alzheimer's dementia. I suggested I could get Mum in for a general MOT and the test could be part of that. The Dr was very understanding and agreed, the ruse meant the test was done with the minimum of fuss, and Mum was referred on to a specialist clinic. Hope this helps and you can source some assistance soon
Before you see the doctor about her knee write a note detailing all of her problems and your concerns and pass it to the doctor or the receptionist to make sure he reads it before he sees her.
He can do a memory test without her even knowing, while they are checking her knee they may ask her things like "who is the prime minister" or what the date is today, they may ask her to remember an address and recall it at the end of the examination.
They can refer on from that test depending on how well she does. Use the knee as your opportunity and take it from there.
He can do a memory test without her even knowing, while they are checking her knee they may ask her things like "who is the prime minister" or what the date is today, they may ask her to remember an address and recall it at the end of the examination.
They can refer on from that test depending on how well she does. Use the knee as your opportunity and take it from there.
Hi PJL
My sister and I had a very similar problem with our Mum who refused to go to the Doctors. What we did in the end was write to her GP to explain our concerns and ask if she could be invited for a routine health check . Her lovely GP did this and did the memory test at the appointment. She told her that there may be some issues with her memory but that she would refer her to a specialist to see if there would be anything that could be done to help. Mum accepted this and was eventually diagnosed. She is now on medication which I feel has slowed down the progression, although not everyone is suitable for this.
Good luck and welcome to the forum
x
My sister and I had a very similar problem with our Mum who refused to go to the Doctors. What we did in the end was write to her GP to explain our concerns and ask if she could be invited for a routine health check . Her lovely GP did this and did the memory test at the appointment. She told her that there may be some issues with her memory but that she would refer her to a specialist to see if there would be anything that could be done to help. Mum accepted this and was eventually diagnosed. She is now on medication which I feel has slowed down the progression, although not everyone is suitable for this.
Good luck and welcome to the forum
x
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