My husband has Alzheimer's and his condition is deteriorating quite a bit now. I've looked after him alone since his diagnosis in 2019 although things weren't good before then. I am finding things so difficult now as I have no relatives to talk things over with. Friends keep telling me I must take a break. My husband still knows what is wrong with him and clearly doesn't want to go into care, even for me to have a short break. It's obviously not possible to reason with him. We have been married for 47 years and during that time have only been apart for 3 days. He shadows me indoors and still hugs me and clings on to me. How can I possibly put him into care, even for a short time?
Needing a break
- Thread starter Mary52
- Start date
Hello Mary, welcome to this friendly community. I haven’t done this myself yet but can imagine how hard the thought is - but it does sound like you need it now.
have you ever had a ‘sitter’ in at all? I wonder if that might be a good place to start though and at least have a few hours apart in the daytime. might help you get used to the idea?
Others will soon be along who have more experience to offer I am sure
have you ever had a ‘sitter’ in at all? I wonder if that might be a good place to start though and at least have a few hours apart in the daytime. might help you get used to the idea?
Others will soon be along who have more experience to offer I am sure
Hello @Mary52 - I felt just the same with my husband, it Is so hard isn't it?
I think @sdmhred 's suggestion of perhaps finding a sitter might be a good stepping stone towards preparing for possible care or respite care at some point.
In my area there is a carers' support service. They stay with ( or take the cared for person out) for an agreed period of time so that the carer can have a break. It is something which could start small, such as 30 mins - and then gradually increase to longer periods, if it is working.
It might be worth looking for a carers' support service in your area - your local authority should be able to put you in touch with them or similar organisations.
I think @sdmhred 's suggestion of perhaps finding a sitter might be a good stepping stone towards preparing for possible care or respite care at some point.
In my area there is a carers' support service. They stay with ( or take the cared for person out) for an agreed period of time so that the carer can have a break. It is something which could start small, such as 30 mins - and then gradually increase to longer periods, if it is working.
It might be worth looking for a carers' support service in your area - your local authority should be able to put you in touch with them or similar organisations.
Day care is a good idea @Mary52 if it is available to you.
My husband refused day care so I got a sitter in the guise of home help. The agency was excellent and the carer/home helper was well trained and encouraged me to go out for a couple of hours to do some `shopping` from day one.
My husband agreed to this and still had the wherewithal to accept we didn`t leave a stranger alone in the house so agreed to stay with the carer.
It took me a long time to accept advice from others here on DTP but once I decided, I never looked back.
My husband refused day care so I got a sitter in the guise of home help. The agency was excellent and the carer/home helper was well trained and encouraged me to go out for a couple of hours to do some `shopping` from day one.
My husband agreed to this and still had the wherewithal to accept we didn`t leave a stranger alone in the house so agreed to stay with the carer.
It took me a long time to accept advice from others here on DTP but once I decided, I never looked back.
