My Oli

[Bugs]

We live in a small retirement flat. Last night my Oli got up from his chair in the lounge to go to bed. He got as far as the bathroom door, stood there for a minute or 2 and came back to the lounge. I said to him ‘I thought you were going to bed’. His reply - ‘so many doors and mirrors’. It gave me a real insight as to how his brain works, how confusing and exhausting life must be when you continually don’t know where you are or where you are going. It’s no wonder that people with dementia sleep so much.

 

[Jale]

Hi Bugs, may help (or not) as no experience of this, but would it be possible to leave bedroom, bathroom doors open so he could see what was in the room - apologies if you have already thought if this.

 

[jugglingmum]

He might not accept this yet but would putting pictures on the doors help so he knows what each room is?

Also sometimes mirrors confuse and need covering up.

I appreciate that this isn't what you want in your home but sometimes navigating life to provide least distress is best for everyone.

When I moved my mum into a 1 bed flat from a 3 bed house I certainly got the impression she found life easier with less things to deal with, and she was calmer.

Their world steadily narrows, which is sad to observe.

 

[Bugs]

I leave all the doors open so he can see inside. We have motion sensitive lights on the skirting to guide him to the bathroom at night. These are a real help and I recommend them. The only mirror we have is attached to the wall above the basin. We moved to this flat to simplify our lives after he had major heart surgery and I noticed a slight cognitive decline. It was the best thing we could have done. I feel pretty much in control of things most of the time but every now and then something , like the doors and mirror episode, jumps up and smacks me in the face.
It’s such a cruel disease that has robbed him of so much. I’ve seen friends quietly fade away as they would rather remember him as he was than face what he is now But I have also found friends who have stepped up and made a point of including him in conversations etc even if he doesn’t chat that much. I will never forget their kindness. And finding this forum has been a life saver. Thank you all for your support and care