my mams gone


Registered User
Apr 16, 2008
i havent used this site for a long time,
when i first realised my mam had dementia i came on here a lot, i didnt post much, but i read a lot of other peoples stories.
those stories broke my heart as i realised what was coming my way. i didnt know how i was going to cope.
although i was often sobbing when i read other peoples stories, it helped me a lot, it helped me to prepare for what would happen to mam and to me as i tried to deal with it.
mam went into a care home 2 and a half years ago, the toughest decision id ever had to make, but i felt it was the right decision. i couldnt look after her and keep her safe.
unfortunately mam passed away on new years eve, she had gone into hospital when the staff thought she was unwell and had deteriorated. i knew she'd had a stroke but when the doctor came and said he thought it was a water infection, i believed him. she went to sleep on friday evening, she never woke up.
i stayed by her side in hospital and made the decision to stop the treatment and let her go....
theres no doubt in my mind that was the right decision, or that its what she would have wanted
but.... that doesnt make it any easier
my best friends, my brother and myself carried her into the crematorium on her 80th birthday...
i didnt mean to ramble on....
i came on to say...
this site helped me to prepare for what dementia does, and helped me to deal with it.
if anybody reading this hasnt got to the later stages yet, use this site and use it often.
be strong and enjoy your loved ones while you have them... its not always easy
and a big big thankyou to all who use this site and for the help i had just from reading your posts.


Registered User
Nov 27, 2012
A very moving, heartfelt post, thankyou and so sorry to hear about your mam. She is no longer suffering.

Take your time to grieve, be kind to yourself. My wee Dad has vascular dementia and is currently contented and still living in his own place, with support from me and mine. Long may it continue - but like you did, I am finding TP invaluable.

I will take your advice and keep checking in here.

love M x


Registered User
May 17, 2011
I hope I can be as brave as you when the time comes, I admire your words.

Thank you.

My best wishes.


Registered User
Mar 12, 2012
so sorry to hear your sad news, but as you say it was for the best. I also read a lot on here, but don't often post, but I have learnt so much and I know it is preparing me for what may come with my husband (mixed dementia, but I have him at home and long may that last)

your kind words touched me deeply, and I wish you peace in the coming months and years.

my thoughts are with you



Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
Thank you for posting such lovely words and I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your family.
Take care
Chris x


Registered User
Jul 5, 2011
Liverpool, Merseyside
Thank you for your moving post. So sorry for your loss but happy that your Mum is at peace.

Following in your footsteps and taking any advice that comes along.

Thinking of you and your family
Polly x


Registered User
Dec 31, 2009
Am so sorry for the loss of your dear mum, how much you loved her comes through strongly. You did the very best for her right until the end and take comfort that her passing was peaceful and swift. There’s no value that can be placed on this site and am glad it helped you as it does so many others. Wishing you well and hope you still come by to visit. Px

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
North Derbyshire
How good to know that this site helped you - that is what it is here for.

So sad that you lost your mum, but it sounds as though you did everything right for her.

That is what we all hope to do.

Love and best wishes



Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
Your Mam would be very proud of you. Your love for her comes through clearly here and I can only offer very sincere condolences at this very sad time.

TP is always here for you should you need it.


Registered User
Aug 1, 2007
I am sorry to read your sad news about your mum. My sincere condolences.



Registered User
May 19, 2012
bedlington northumberland
Hi Oldsolechild,

so sorry to hear of your loss. so pleased that TP was able to offer you support and to enlighten you as to what lay ahead. your beloved mum is at peace now. please continue to pop in to TP as your understanding and knowledge could help someone else.

will offer a prayer for you and your family during this tough time. i myself continue to mourn my MIL who passed over in December.

much love



Registered User
Dec 16, 2009
So sorry to hear of your sad loss oldsoulchild, the love you had for your Mum is obvious from your lovely post. Please accept my condolences to you and your family.