Yesterday at just after 10pm, Phil passed away, he went into hospital on Bank Holiday Monday, his blood tests showed his kidney were failing, he stopped being able to swallow, there was nothing they could do, he was put on pain killers and medication for agitation, they were amazed he fought so long, I was told 2 days at the outside, on Tuesday, but he went on until last night, ( always had strong willpower) for a short time before he went into a deep sleep, and lost all knowledge of what was around him, he seemed to know me, he put his arm around me, ruffled my hair, pulled me towards him and pressed his face to me, ( I dont care what anyone else thinks, in my heart I believe he knew I was his, and was trying to tell me he loved me), I was with him when he went, the hardest thing I have ever done was to walk out of the door and leave him there, I went back 3 times to give him a kiss goodbye before I finally managed to walk from the ward, I cant thank the nursing staff enough for the care of both him and me during these last few days.
Its all happened so fast Lewy Bodies was only diagnosed in June, I thought I would have years not months, the heartache is dreadful, I know he is at peace, but to never be able to hold him again, its tearing me up, he was only 66.
My Children, have been with me, daughter travelled 3 hrs to get here and stayed for a couple of days, before she had to go back, (animals)she was so distressed having to leave. Son has hardly left my side, (or his Dads) I dont know how I would have coped without his unfailing support, I always knew I had wonderful kids they did their Dad proud.
Its all happened so fast Lewy Bodies was only diagnosed in June, I thought I would have years not months, the heartache is dreadful, I know he is at peace, but to never be able to hold him again, its tearing me up, he was only 66.
My Children, have been with me, daughter travelled 3 hrs to get here and stayed for a couple of days, before she had to go back, (animals)she was so distressed having to leave. Son has hardly left my side, (or his Dads) I dont know how I would have coped without his unfailing support, I always knew I had wonderful kids they did their Dad proud.