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My lovely man has passed away

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
Yesterday at just after 10pm, Phil passed away, he went into hospital on Bank Holiday Monday, his blood tests showed his kidney were failing, he stopped being able to swallow, there was nothing they could do, he was put on pain killers and medication for agitation, they were amazed he fought so long, I was told 2 days at the outside, on Tuesday, but he went on until last night, ( always had strong willpower) for a short time before he went into a deep sleep, and lost all knowledge of what was around him, he seemed to know me, he put his arm around me, ruffled my hair, pulled me towards him and pressed his face to me, ( I dont care what anyone else thinks, in my heart I believe he knew I was his, and was trying to tell me he loved me), I was with him when he went, the hardest thing I have ever done was to walk out of the door and leave him there, I went back 3 times to give him a kiss goodbye before I finally managed to walk from the ward, I cant thank the nursing staff enough for the care of both him and me during these last few days.
Its all happened so fast Lewy Bodies was only diagnosed in June, I thought I would have years not months, the heartache is dreadful, I know he is at peace, but to never be able to hold him again, its tearing me up, he was only 66.
My Children, have been with me, daughter travelled 3 hrs to get here and stayed for a couple of days, before she had to go back, (animals)she was so distressed having to leave. Son has hardly left my side, (or his Dads) I dont know how I would have coped without his unfailing support, I always knew I had wonderful kids they did their Dad proud.
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
70
Durham
I am sorry to hear about your husband, it's nice to hear about your lovely supportive family,
Thinking of you all and sending my condolences,

Jeany x
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
near Folkestone
Mabbs sitting here with a tear in my eye . I am so very sorry you lost your lovely man. Wishing you strength for the days ahead . Lots of hugs xxxxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,090
68
Dundee
Oh Mabbs. What a moving post. I'm so sorry you've lost your lovely man. I'm sure he knew you were his when he held you close.

Sending condolences and wishing you much strength. x
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Mabbs. I'm speechless. Don't want to say all the usual things. Just wish I could make it all better. Love and strength to you and your family, especially over the next few days. You must be feeling so raw.

My love to you xxx
 

MabbsDaughter

Registered User
Apr 30, 2015
6
Surrey
Yesterday at just after 10pm, Phil passed away, he went into hospital on Bank Holiday Monday, his blood tests showed his kidney were failing, he stopped being able to swallow, there was nothing they could do, he was put on pain killers and medication for agitation, they were amazed he fought so long, I was told 2 days at the outside, on Tuesday, but he went on until last night, ( always had strong willpower) for a short time before he went into a deep sleep, and lost all knowledge of what was around him, he seemed to know me, he put his arm around me, ruffled my hair, pulled me towards him and pressed his face to me, ( I dont care what anyone else thinks, in my heart I believe he knew I was his, and was trying to tell me he loved me), I was with him when he went, the hardest thing I have ever done was to walk out of the door and leave him there, I went back 3 times to give him a kiss goodbye before I finally managed to walk from the ward, I cant thank the nursing staff enough for the care of both him and me during these last few days.
Its all happened so fast Lewy Bodies was only diagnosed in June, I thought I would have years not months, the heartache is dreadful, I know he is at peace, but to never be able to hold him again, its tearing me up, he was only 66.
My Children, have been with me, daughter travelled 3 hrs to get here and stayed for a couple of days, before she had to go back, (animals)she was so distressed having to leave. Son has hardly left my side, (or his Dads) I dont know how I would have coped without his unfailing support, I always knew I had wonderful kids they did their Dad proud.
Mum I love you, I love and miss my Daddy :'( xxx
 

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
Oh Mabbs I am so sorry to hear your sad news it's such a shock for you my deepest and sincere condolences love hugs from Sandi xxxxxx
 

Suzanna1969

Registered User
Mar 28, 2015
346
Essex
So sorry for your family's loss. Your strength of love for each other and for Phil will pull you through this, bless you all. Thank goodness you have such a wonderful family xxx
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Mabbs, as I was reading the other messages left I was thinking of what to write. So here goes. I'm sure that Phil knew you were there and was comforted by your presence-he comforted you as much as you did him. However, my overriding feeling (apart from feeling sad for you) was how lucky you were to have such unstinting support from your kids. Yes they are lovely and why wouldn't they be? They are a 'chip off the old block'-well two blocks actually. And then as I scrolled through I saw the message from 'MabbsDaughter'; there was no more proof needed that Phil has left a lasting legacy of love which he has passed on and will continue to live in all of you.

I'm so sorry Mabbs. And Mabbsdaughter-I'm also sorry that you have lost your Daddy. Grieve together as a family; talk when needed, cry together, hug when you feel lost and most of all find the strength to get through the times ahead.

I hope you find peace in knowing that a dear Husband and Daddy is no longer suffering from pain or confusion. Look to the skies tonight-there will be a new shining star brighter than the rest.

Much love

Lyn T XX
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,352
68
Dear Mabbs and Mabbs Daughter, I am so sorry to read your news. How lovely that Phil cuddled you at the end and ruffled your hair, such a special moment and a lovely lasting memory. I do believe that he knew who you were, just as I believe that Roger knew that I was there with him.

As Lyn has said, so eloquently, he has left a lasting legacy of love.

Nobody can take away the special memories that you have, and one day they will come to the fore and the dark days of dementia will fade. After only 5 months, I try to remember Roger as he was, the fun we shared and the happy times. He is in my heart, just as Phil is in yours.

Jan xx
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,118
Scotland
Oh Mabbs, such profoundly moving posts, I do feel deeply for you, your lovely daughter and son and am glad you are all there for each other.

You must be in shock, so sudden, unexpected. I do feel that your husband did know you, and I hope in time you will draw comfort from that.

My deepest sympathy and condolences, and wishing you strength for the times ahead. Remember we are here and write when and whatever you feel like writing.

My love
Loo xx
 

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