My life changed today

[Helen33]

Today I ran out of road. I have been travelling along a road with regard to work and today that road ran out. There is not even an inch in which to manouvre.

Alan disturbed the session again tonight and now ACTION has to be taken to ensure that this never happens again. I am going to ring Crossroads first thing in the morning to inform them that the situation has changed and that I need the sitters to be able to take Alan out during the morning sessions (perhaps to the local community centre) and then to take him out for the evening session (maybe to a care home for an hour or even to a local pub).

The events of today have been most peculiar and today is a landmark day in that I have experienced a definite downturn. Alan is very disturbed himself and confused and he seems to be in and out of 'normality'. The difference in me between Monday and today is that on Monday I was doing everything I could to try to get through to him because I was afraid of the consequences of what would happen to him if he didn't do what was necessary. Today I know there is no point because he doesn't have the capability of understanding.

I will always remember today as the day I ran out of road.

Love to you all

 

[Scottie45]

Dear Helen

So sorry to read about your day and how it went,just sending you a big (((hug))) and hope this helps you a small bit,take care Marian xx

 

[nellbelles]

Helen


I sincerely hope that this is a 'lay by' and with the right support things will be better, not 'perfect' just better.

 

[Bookworm]

Oh - I would write more - but we know each other and I just don't have words good enough for a response - but oh - just really feeling for you but so very pleased you have found an way through this to carry on with your work which i realise is vital for your survival at present. What a big momentous occasion. So very sorry, love, Sue xoxo

 

[TinaT]

Oh Helen,
This could have been me posting the same thing several years ago. Ken took such a nosedive down that I suddenly found myself in exactly the same position as you but without any social service help or indeed, private help as we were living in Spain.

I walked out of my beloved job a few days later to care for him full time and to sell up all I had worked so hard for to get us both back to England as quickly as I could.

zxxTinaT

 

[lesmisralbles]

Hello Helen

Today I ran out of road.

You did not run out of road XX.
The road just has not been built yet.
It will be, but not in time for us.

Sending love XX, its all I can do.

Barb XX

 

[burfordthecat]

Hi Helen

Sorry to hear about today. I have fingers crossed that Crossroads will be able to help. It really is a horrible feeling when things change, but they are out of your control.

Love Carina x

 

[sad nell]

Helen your words "does not have the capability of understanding," reminds me of the time the penny dropped about 2 years ago, but here we are still trundling on. dont make any rash descions, because as awful as it is, the deteriation somehow makes it easier to deal with, not emotionally easier but practically so, hope i am making sensce, hope you have sorted out the tooth. goodnight my love pam

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Helen, you haven't run out of road, you've taken a sharp turn. I'm sorry that you had such a rough day. Hugs and kisses from me to both of you.

 

[Helen33]

Thanks again everyone

Thank you all again. Dear Pam, I have to make the best professional decision which has to be based upon fact rather than sentiment or feeling. The fact is that this cannot be allowed to happen and it is solely my responsibility to ensure that it doesn't. It isn't a rash decision but a decision based upon professional judgement. This week Alan's actions have shown than I can no longer rely upon methods that previously worked because there is a downturn. I have to take action which I have tried every way I know how to avoid - but I really have now run out of road. I am hoping that both Crossroads and the SW will understand that immediate change needs to happen and that we can come up with something that is in Alan's best interest as well as allowing me to run a skeletal practice. I hope I will know by Friday.

I said to a friend today that if I think about going through all this without the support of TP I can hardly breath. The value of TP to me is something that even I find difficult to adequately express.

Love

 

[jenniferpa]

Helen - if there is anyone who can work their way through this it will be you. I don't know if it helps, but we are all rooting for you.

 

[Helen33]

Dear Jennifer,

Thank you so much. You've just touched the nerve that affects my tear ducts!! I wonder why whoever designed the site didn't think we would need a smiley with tears? Maybe they thought it would get worn out

Love

 

[nellbelles]

Helen



A bit drastic but here you are,

Others would disagree with me and my humour, but there you are,that's me..
((hugs)) kid, take care..

 

[Helen33]

Hi Helen,

I love your humour and am jealous of your lovely smilies

Love

 

[Bookworm]

I found this one - might be about right??

 

[Helen33]

I wish I could have a way of parading that smilie with sign outside my therapy room door to keep Alan away

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Helen

I hope you managed to sleep last night and are able to get everything sorted out this morning.
Fingers will be well and truly crossed for you.
Love xx

 

[Helen33]

Hi sylvia,

I didn't sleep particularly well because I was going through the scenarios of talking to Crossroads. I now don't know whether I was day dreaming or sleep dreaming about it!! I realise that from here on in my care role has become a lot more difficult. At the moment I am thinking about all the "what if's". What if he won't go into a community centre because he's scared? What if he won't go to a care home or pub for the same reason? I am telling myself that it is a complete waste of energy thinking these things because they have to be avenues that are tried - the thoughts keep coming anyway. I am already exhausted and feel like I've done a full days shift and I've only been awake for 20 minutes.

I bet you wish you hadn't asked

Love

 

[Grannie G]

What if he won't go into a community centre because he's scared? What if he won't go to a care home or pub for the same reason?

Perhaps Helen these are questions you need help with answering. You have a good CPN now. This might be his/her area of expertise. xx

 

[sad nell]

morning helen, hope today some solutions can be found, hows the tooth ?lets hope that crossroads come up trumps,alan seems to be a very sociable person he might actually enjoy a day centre if he had the securty of crossroads 1 to 1 with him, are there any locally, trevs resource centre runs a great day centre twice a week and everyone seems happy and kept entertained, not just sat round a room, they might set alan on to clean the uvpc or such lkie, will be thinking of you today love pam