Mums concentration

[cat64]

Can I ask a daft question? will my mum suddenly stop being able to read? .or is it she wont remember how to read.

She has just entered a care home and I am trying to take extra things to entertain her like her favourite magazine.........she does look at them but I don't know what's she's absorbing or even enjoying it?

Saw the interesting other thread about picture books and would like to take her one but would it offend her or worry her even more? She also used to be a whizz at sudoko but not sure she can do it anymore. she loves the radio times so she can monitor each day but now she has a new tv not sure she understands and remembers how to watch the news anymore.

So many worries.

 

[Shedrech]

Hi cat64
interestingly dad can actually read the words on a page, however what he's reading isn't taken in or meaningful to him, a bit like me reading a French text, I can make a stab at sounding it out but I don't speak/understand French

some visitors brought in annuals of comics of his day and he seemed to engage with those

I'd say try anything - if your mum isn't interested she'll ignore it or find an excuse not to do it - dad enjoys looking at old photos of places he knows but only for a while, he can't concentrate very long these days and it is quite an effort for him to make sense of the photos - so try picture books, why not

I kept buying him his local newspaper for quite a while after he really read it, just to keep up a familiar habit and for it to be there if he was interested - so maybe stay with the radio times - I don't let dad watch the news, though, he can't cope any longer with what is shown and the tone of voice, and can get very distressed, but if your mum still wants to watch, maybe ask the carers to put on one particular slot each day for her

 

[AmeliaM]

Can I ask a daft question? will my mum suddenly stop being able to read? .or is it she wont remember how to read.

She has just entered a care home and I am trying to take extra things to entertain her like her favourite magazine.........she does look at them but I don't know what's she's absorbing or even enjoying it?

Saw the interesting other thread about picture books and would like to take her one but would it offend her or worry her even more? She also used to be a whizz at sudoko but not sure she can do it anymore. she loves the radio times so she can monitor each day but now she has a new tv not sure she understands and remembers how to watch the news anymore.

So many worries.

Hi Cat,

My mum has been in a care home since December and she used to do word puzzles, read the local newspaper and enjoy magazines. We ordered a daily newspaper for her but three weeks ago the carers told us to cancel it as she wasn't even looking at it anymore. Although if you take a paper or magazine and read to her and chat she looks at it but has very little response. Sorry to say that I think in my case the answer to your question is that mum has lost the ability to concentrate enough to look at a magazine. Everyone is different and mums decline in this area has been pretty rapid unfortunately. She also doesn't watch television anymore,she used to love "The Chase" but doesn't even look at the screen when it's on now even if you encourage her.

It's as if every function is gradually disappearing. I sit and hold her hand and talk about the past, when we were children on holiday, funny stories from her childhood and ours. She will sit and listen speaking very occasionally but she looks directly at who ever is speaking and if you are not looking at her she tugs your hand.

It's very hard I know it's almost as if mum has regressed back in to a child, and she used to be such a feisty lady.

There are some positives though like when we were trying to get her to drink (We take Vimto cartons with a straw as its easier for her ) She put her hand up and said clearly "That's quite sufficient now thank you" Still telling us off!

Hope this helps.

With best wishes

AmeliaM

 

[CJinUSA]

Can I ask a daft question? will my mum suddenly stop being able to read? .or is it she wont remember how to read.

She has just entered a care home and I am trying to take extra things to entertain her like her favourite magazine.........she does look at them but I don't know what's she's absorbing or even enjoying it?

Saw the interesting other thread about picture books and would like to take her one but would it offend her or worry her even more? She also used to be a whizz at sudoko but not sure she can do it anymore. she loves the radio times so she can monitor each day but now she has a new tv not sure she understands and remembers how to watch the news anymore.

So many worries.

I went through your questions when working with my mother. My mother loved it when we went through books designed for those with dementia. We also used National Geographic books that had lots of photos. She responded well to flower and bird books most. This was what gave me the idea of using my laptop - which I could place right in front of her - to watch live birdcams. She loved it. When the birdcams were not busy, I'd put on videos of birds. She really loved that.

She couldn't concentrate on reading, or even stay focused when she herself was turning the page. She tried to cover it, but she was bored and unstimulated. The laptop was the trick.

 

[Onlyme]

Just like a previous post Mum could read until well advanced into her illness what she couldn't was understand was what meant by the words.

Mum could tell the time until a month before she died but would 1 o'clock and ask was it night when it was bright sunshine outside.

 

[Batsue]

My mum was diagnosed with AD a year ago, although she showed symptoms for 2 years before this, she reads books for several hours every day but if asked can't tell you what the story is about or what the book is called but it keeps her occupied. It appears that she reads the words but by the end of a sentence she has forgotten what the meaning is.

 

[CJinUSA]

My mum was diagnosed with AD a year ago, although she showed symptoms for 2 years before this, she reads books for several hours every day but if asked can't tell you what the story is about or what the book is called but it keeps her occupied. It appears that she reads the words but by the end of a sentence she has forgotten what the meaning is.

Yes, that's sort of how my mother began. She'd sometimes read the same page over and over, then turn back to the previous page, and move forward. It was hard to watch her struggle with the absence of comprehension, but she accepted it. This is when we started watching videos of shows she sort of already knew by heart.

 

[AmeliaM]

I went through your questions when working with my mother. My mother loved it when we went through books designed for those with dementia. We also used National Geographic books that had lots of photos. She responded well to flower and bird books most. This was what gave me the idea of using my laptop - which I could place right in front of her - to watch live birdcams. She loved it. When the birdcams were not busy, I'd put on videos of birds. She really loved that.

She couldn't concentrate on reading, or even stay focused when she herself was turning the page. She tried to cover it, but she was bored and unstimulated. The laptop was the trick.

Hi,

I think the bird and flower books are a great idea, my mum used to love bird books I think I have some, so will find them out.

Will also try the laptop idea.

Thanks for the tip.

 

[CJinUSA]

Hi,

I think the bird and flower books are a great idea, my mum used to love bird books I think I have some, so will find them out.

Will also try the laptop idea.

Thanks for the tip.

Okay, I hope the ideas work. I named some on the other thread about "how to keep occupied." My mother loved the natural world. I imagine many people do. So things associated with the natural world would likely work.

 

[Alexjojam]

No interest

I am at my wits end my mother rings my sisters and myself several times a day. We get the same things day in and day out, she states we don't go to see her ,her house is filthy, she has no money etc etc. These are all not true at all she is very lucky to have 3 daughters that do everything for her. However she is wanting us to be there 24/7 she's not happy for us to have any sort of life and to be quite frank she is tipping me over the edge. We all still work and it's taking its toll on us all. Any advice welcome x

 

[AmeliaM]

I am at my wits end my mother rings my sisters and myself several times a day. We get the same things day in and day out, she states we don't go to see her ,her house is filthy, she has no money etc etc. These are all not true at all she is very lucky to have 3 daughters that do everything for her. However she is wanting us to be there 24/7 she's not happy for us to have any sort of life and to be quite frank she is tipping me over the edge. We all still work and it's taking its toll on us all. Any advice welcome x

Hi,

I am one of three sisters and we had the same problem. We managed until October of last year when I was due to have surgery and mum kept having repeated falls UTI's etc. Constant phone calls and texts from her carers who couldn't cope. Eventually in desperation we arranged for her to go in to a CH initially for respite for 2 weeks, where she thrived. Unfortunately the day following discharge the phone calls started again, the Doctor had to be called out and the whole cycle began again. Until mum was found on the floor by her carer Just before Xmas and asked to go back in to the CH as she realised she couldn't manage and did not want to be left alone in between carers visits.

Since then it has been a roller coaster of UTI's, falls losing weight etc. My husband thinks that all this would have happened even if she has stayed at home. Although she is well cared for and we are no longer receiving the phone calls and constant Hospital visit I wish she could have ended her days in her own home.

It is very difficult not to feel guilty, although deep down I know there was no alternative. She has always been a strong independent woman, widowed 20 years ago with MS, I do feel we have let her down and find the whole process very painful. Although quite honestly it was killing us when she lived at home, even though we had carers 4 times a day and 3 nights per week.

In my experience she has deteriorated by going in to a CH and it is almost as if she has given up. She speaks very little and when she does she wants to go home. It is very difficult to give advice as every ones circumstances are different. Perhaps if you were to look in to residential care and have some options available should things become too much for her and for you.

Mum totally refused at first but then realised she couldn't cope, then was assessed by SS and GP who said they did not know how she had managed for so long and judged her incapable of making a decision in her own best interests.

It still doesn't help with the guilt or the pain of feeling we have let her down. We all visit her regularly and do our best for her. I think that eventually every one realises that there is no option as hard as it is. Even though she has 3 daughters we all work, have commitments with grandchildren and our own lives and she needs 24 x 7 care.

I hope this doesn't sound too negative but I have been where you are and I know how hard it is.

Unfortunately there isn't an easy solution but I hope you find one that is best for you all.

Kind regards

Amelia

 

[Mercuria]

My mum has been in a care home since December and she used to do word puzzles, read the local newspaper and enjoy magazines. We ordered a daily newspaper for her but three weeks ago the carers told us to cancel it as she wasn't even looking at it anymore. Although if you take a paper or magazine and read to her and chat she looks at it but has very little response. Sorry to say that I think in my case the answer to your question is that mum has lost the ability to concentrate enough to look at a magazine. Everyone is different and mums decline in this area has been pretty rapid unfortunately. She also doesn't watch television anymore,she used to love "The Chase" but doesn't even look at the screen when it's on now even if you encourage her.

It's as if every function is gradually disappearing. ...

Yes, this is how it was with mine. It was complicated by some sort of weird "deja vu" glitch where she became unable to read because after a few pages the books started to repeat themselves, and television and radio had the same problem. They were, apparently, stuck in a loop or "jammed" and never got past the first couple of minutes. She also said that conversations were very repetitive. So I used to talk to her quite simply and clearly as you might to a child, and also a bit more slowly.

She was, however, able to read magazines, I suppose because they had articles and pictures so there were visual differences in what she was seeing, and they were static so unlike radio and TV didn't move at a pace that was too quick for her to take in.

After a while she said she couldn't read. I think partly because her sight was failing but also she didn't have the attention span and was by then becoming too physically weak to hold a book or magazine. Functions do disappear unfortunately as the disease advances.

I think depression also plays a part in not wanting to read any more; they turn away from the outer world. My mother used to be very keen on keeping up with the news, once dementia set in she was tired of it all and didn't have any interest in it any more.

 

[nae sporran]

Yes, this is how it was with mine. It was complicated by some sort of weird "deja vu" glitch where she became unable to read because after a few pages the books started to repeat themselves, and television and radio had the same problem. They were, apparently, stuck in a loop or "jammed" and never got past the first couple of minutes. She also said that conversations were very repetitive. So I used to talk to her quite simply and clearly as you might to a child, and also a bit more slowly.

She was, however, able to read magazines, I suppose because they had articles and pictures so there were visual differences in what she was seeing, and they were static so unlike radio and TV didn't move at a pace that was too quick for her to take in.

After a while she said she couldn't read. I think partly because her sight was failing but also she didn't have the attention span and was by then becoming too physically weak to hold a book or magazine. Functions do disappear unfortunately as the disease advances.

I think depression also plays a part in not wanting to read any more; they turn away from the outer world. My mother used to be very keen on keeping up with the news, once dementia set in she was tired of it all and didn't have any interest in it any more.

OH is not in a CH, but she does have the deja vu glitch. You start a conversation and long after everyone has moved on she is still repeating the first couple of sentences. following TV programmes is impossible, so she just dismisses everything as being stupid to avoid having to accept it. Of course, it would be horrible to make her face the truth and some of what we watch is a bit stupid even when you can follow it. Jokes aside, I am not sure if it is down to depression as she is generally quite cheery most of time despite all she is fighting.

That is just our experience, it's interesting to read other experiences. I will just wish you all well in your caring roles.

 

[Trisha4]

Can I ask a daft question? will my mum suddenly stop being able to read? .or is it she wont remember how to read.

She has just entered a care home and I am trying to take extra things to entertain her like her favourite magazine.........she does look at them but I don't know what's she's absorbing or even enjoying it?

Saw the interesting other thread about picture books and would like to take her one but would it offend her or worry her even more? She also used to be a whizz at sudoko but not sure she can do it anymore. she loves the radio times so she can monitor each day but now she has a new tv not sure she understands and remembers how to watch the news anymore.

So many worries.

The two skills my husband did not want to lose were reading and driving. He can't do either now. He also used to do sudoku but can't do that either.
I recently bought him a colouring book and I wondered if he would be dismissive of it but he likes it. He will still look at car magazines (his interest) fr a short period of time but I'm not sure how much he takes in now.
Television is becoming harder for him as both his understanding and concentration are decreasing.
It does make it difficult to find things to amuse him. As we are married and retired I am with him 24/7. He couldn't now be left on his own, although still in his 60s.


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[Aisling]

The two skills my husband did not want to lose were reading and driving. He can't do either now. He also used to do sudoku but can't do that either.
I recently bought him a colouring book and I wondered if he would be dismissive of it but he likes it. He will still look at car magazines (his interest) fr a short period of time but I'm not sure how much he takes in now.
Television is becoming harder for him as both his understanding and concentration are decreasing.
It does make it difficult to find things to amuse him. As we are married and retired I am with him 24/7. He couldn't now be left on his own, although still in his 60s.


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Hi Trish,

Am a late owl!! Yes it is very difficult almost impossible at times. 24/7. I hope you have some sort of practical help.

Sending loads of support and hugs from Ireland.

Aisling. Xx

 

[Trisha4]

Thanks Aisling. I'm in a different time zone (literally) at the moment as we're in Panama visiting son so we are 6 hours behind uk. Thanks for your hugs which are reciprocated X


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