Hi, Saskia, it's good to see an update from you. Thanks for checking in and letting us know how things are going.
It's encouraging to hear your mum is a bit more settled on the unit. Getting the medications right is no easy task, but it can make a big difference.
She is likely responding to a number of things: medications, routine, good nutrition, removal of stressors from her home. I found that my mother's crippling anxiety resolved to a large part after she was sectioned. Not just because of the medications being sorted, although that was huge, but removing her from her home was key. There were just too many reminders of things she could no longer manage, too much space (although it isn't a large home), too much stuff, a lot of items that upset her (bad memories), and it was all overwhelming and sparked her constant anxiety and distress. She couldn't manage, and so getting her out of where she couldn't manage, even though it sounds cruel (and wasn't what she said she wanted) was actually the best thing I could have done.
I know it's hard, but try to be kind to yourself and not torment yourself with the thought that you've done something wrong.
I know well that feeling of being caught between some relief that she is safe, and uncertainty about what will happen, and the inevitable guilt (someone pass Saskia the official TP pointy stick to poke that Guilt Monster with), and all the other emotions.
I also had to clear and sell my mother's home, after she went into care. It was a rubbish job and no mistake. Please don't think you must accomplish everything right this very minute. It took me over a year, from the time my mother was sectioned, to get her house cleared and sold.
I definitely didn't like the feeling of clearing out her things without her knowledge or approval. If she had known, she would have been beyond upset, so we never asked or told her. To this day (over two years later) if she asks about her home, I tell her it's fine. "It's right where you left it!" I say brightly, and then change the subject.
It's just hard, Saskia, no matter how you look at it, and I'm sorry.
I don't want to overwhelm you but if you're interested, at some point, I can share some advice and stories about what made the actual clearing easier for me.
I also don't want to presume that I know how you feel, even if I have been in a similar situation. It's different for everyone. I just want to offer support and concern.
Please do your best to look after yourself and to be kind to yourself. This is just not easy.
Sending very best wishes.
It's encouraging to hear your mum is a bit more settled on the unit. Getting the medications right is no easy task, but it can make a big difference.
She is likely responding to a number of things: medications, routine, good nutrition, removal of stressors from her home. I found that my mother's crippling anxiety resolved to a large part after she was sectioned. Not just because of the medications being sorted, although that was huge, but removing her from her home was key. There were just too many reminders of things she could no longer manage, too much space (although it isn't a large home), too much stuff, a lot of items that upset her (bad memories), and it was all overwhelming and sparked her constant anxiety and distress. She couldn't manage, and so getting her out of where she couldn't manage, even though it sounds cruel (and wasn't what she said she wanted) was actually the best thing I could have done.
I know it's hard, but try to be kind to yourself and not torment yourself with the thought that you've done something wrong.
I know well that feeling of being caught between some relief that she is safe, and uncertainty about what will happen, and the inevitable guilt (someone pass Saskia the official TP pointy stick to poke that Guilt Monster with), and all the other emotions.
I also had to clear and sell my mother's home, after she went into care. It was a rubbish job and no mistake. Please don't think you must accomplish everything right this very minute. It took me over a year, from the time my mother was sectioned, to get her house cleared and sold.
I definitely didn't like the feeling of clearing out her things without her knowledge or approval. If she had known, she would have been beyond upset, so we never asked or told her. To this day (over two years later) if she asks about her home, I tell her it's fine. "It's right where you left it!" I say brightly, and then change the subject.
It's just hard, Saskia, no matter how you look at it, and I'm sorry.
I don't want to overwhelm you but if you're interested, at some point, I can share some advice and stories about what made the actual clearing easier for me.
I also don't want to presume that I know how you feel, even if I have been in a similar situation. It's different for everyone. I just want to offer support and concern.
Please do your best to look after yourself and to be kind to yourself. This is just not easy.
Sending very best wishes.
