Mum is going to be sectioned tomorrow..

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by saskia, Mar 2, 2017.

  1. saskia

    saskia Registered User

    Aug 10, 2015
    124
    North Essex
    Hi all

    We,ve reached the crisis stage with mum, now having delusions / physcotic episodes daily/ walking around streets looking for her dead dog...

    emergency assesment this morning has resulted in a sectioning order tomorrow am - the mental health team have advised that 2 doctors will be present as need to do one further assement before taking her to hospital.

    This has been expected for a while now and even though my brother |(who is a nurse) has told me to stay away, as mum will be kicking & screaming (she told the nurse this morning to 'f' off -i'm not sure??

    been told to get mum a bag ready - ok, nightwear, undies, toiletries - what else should i be thinking of? mum always 'pretends' to read before bed, do i pack a book?

    feeling very scared right now - but also a tiny bit relieved that mum may get her medication stabilised and herself .

    sas x
     
  2. Trace2012

    Trace2012 Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    162
    So sorry to hear this, I've also gone through this with my Mam, and although it's scary it's all in her best interest, my Mam was tried on a couple of antipsychotics which has now worked an no more hallucinating, I will
    Be thinking of u, but just think it's all for the best and to help your mum xxx
     
  3. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    5,643
    Hampshire
    Hi Saskia

    I am sure it's a horrible time for you but hopefully it will benefit your Mum as you say.

    Re you being there, I dont think there is a "right" answer but just wanted to say this. It probably will be distressing and provoke your Mum to complain and resist. However, whilst it's possible your Mum will retain a vague memory it's likely much of the detail will be forgotten.
    If you are there to witness it, those images and memories will stay in your mind and cause anguish for you at possibly little benefit to your Mum at the time.

    That's just my thought on it. Possibly your support for your Mum at this point is best directed at sorting what she needs with her. If you do a search on here you will find lots of posts about suggested things to take. Important not to take valuables or originals of photos for example. And name everything!

    Maybe you could also download and complete the "This is me" booklet to go to the hospital staff? Then they can know more about her which may well help with her care and how she feels.

    www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20113/publications_about_living_with_dementia/415/this_is_me

    Good luck, big hugs xx

    Sent from my SM-G361F using Talking Point mobile app
     
  4. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,305
    Female
    Chester
    My boss had this happen with his mum. It was a very physical process to get her in ambulance which really shook him up. If you aren't needed and guilt monster will let you I'd stay away.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,850
    Kent
    I feel for you saskia.

    If you can possibly avoid accompanying your mum do so. Let the doctors do their work and save yourself some upset. Also there is a chance your mum may be more compliant with strangers.

    If your mum likes a book at bedtime, pack her a book. It will provide some security and continuity.

    Take care .
     
  6. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,637
    south-east London
    When my husband was in a secure NHS unit this time last year I took in a couple of his favourite music CDs in so the staff could play music that would calm him. I also made up a photo album of nature pictures and scenes of his homeland, Scotland (I didn't include family photos as he felt in danger from us at that time).
     
  7. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    So sorry it has come to this, pack the bag and take brother's advice. Take care, this action has to help.
     
  8. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,619
    USA
    Hi, saskia. I'm sorry things have continued to be difficult with your mother. I am hoping that being sectioned is going to get her the medication review and care that she needs, to get her more stable and to keep her safe.

    I've not been in your exact situation and of course nobody can predict quite how it will go. However, I would agree with your brother and others here and advise you to stay away and let the professionals get on with it. As much as it likely sounds hurtful to read this, it's possible she will be calmer/more compliant without family there (I know this is true of my mother). I don't mean to suggest that you do anything wrong, just that the nature of dementia and family relationships means that often the people closest to the PWD, get the worst of it (again, been there and done that).

    My mother underwent the American version of sectioning, and it was the best thing that could have happened to her. I know not everyone has a positive experience and that your system is very different to ours, but she finally got a medication review, got really thoroughly medically checked out, got treatment for her physical issues, and really improved in the time she was there. Just eating nutritious food regularly (she was underweight and malnourished), and sleeping all night, and being clean, and getting the medications she needed (and not whatever she was over-and-underdosing herself with at home), and not wandering and being anxious all the time, made a huge difference to her well being.

    I can only hope this has a positive outcome for your mother and for you.

    Yes, I'd pack comfortable clothes, and I'd mark them if you have a chance (I use a fabric laundry marker, like a Sharpie made for fabric, and mark the tags and/or the fabric itself). You can also take a quick "inventory" of what you're packing for her, by taking a photo or two with your phone. This works better for me than making a list or thinking I will remember what I've packed! (My mother is currently in rehab/respite after a hospital stay.)

    And I would definitely take her a couple of books, an author you know she likes or even something she has been "reading" recently. My mother has always been a big reader and even though I know she can't really read anymore (she can read the words, but not follow the narrative or remember anything), it's comforting for her to have a book. So I would definitely pack one and then take more in for her later. I pick up used copies of books/authors I know my mother likes (because the ones in the care home go missing/walkabout a lot, and even more so at the rehab place) for cheap at used book stores, charity shops, library book sales, and the like. Even online from A----n sometimes!

    In the rehab/respite facility where my mother is, and in hospital before that, we have a small (5 x 7 inch) framed copy of a photo my mother has in her care home, and had at her home before that. It's a nice shot of my husband and me dressed up for a cousin's wedding. I got a color copy made and bought an inexpensive frame and put sticky labels on the back, that not only say it belongs to my mother, but also my name, my husband's name, and our relationship to her. I don't know how much my mother likes it (I often find it in a drawer) but many staff in both hospital and rehab have commented that they like it, as they "recognized" us immediately from the photo. Plus it gives them something to make conversation about, with her. I don't mean to add things to your to-do list, just that it's an idea.

    Please look after yourself, Saskia, and update us if and when you feel up to it. We're here to listen. Sending all possible best wishes.
     
  9. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,947
    Ireland
    Saskia - wishing you loads of positive vibes, thoughts and everything x
     
  10. dora

    dora Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    145
    England
    Some information

    This is a useful link to the process

    http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/beingsectionedengland.aspx

    My Mil was sectioned some years ago, and my husband wanted to be present. The 2 doctors went off as soon as they had confirmed the section but the AMHP [see link above], who was a social worker, stayed until the ambulance arrived [several hours, partly because they went to the wrong place :rolleyes:], and by being very firm, succeeded in persuading MIL to get in the ambulance. She followed on to oversee the hospital admission, but my husband came home as by then it was nearly midnight.

    As others have said, this was the best thing for MIL. She was only in hospital for 3-4 weeks and then went to a care home where she settled well.

    Nobody wants this for their loved one. I hope it goes as well as possible and will be thinking of you tomorrow.
     
  11. Malalie

    Malalie Registered User

    Sep 1, 2016
    306
    Female
    I would go with Celia's and your brothers very sensible view if I were you.

    Its so hard to get rid of the awful images that persist in your memory about the medical sort of stuff that your elderly parents go through - and as she says, Mum wont remember, but you will. She wouldn't want that for you.

    Visit her in hospital - try and make it as good as you can for her, and hopefully with the right assessment and medication, things may improve for both her and you.

    I'm sorry - wish I could help more....
     
  12. Mrs W

    Mrs W Registered User

    Nov 3, 2012
    35
    Saskia how did you get on yesterday? I was thinking about you. X


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  13. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,539
    Ireland
    Never what anyone wants, Saskia, but things couldn't have gone on as they were. Hopefully, your poor mum will now get the help she needs, and can settle.
     
  14. katehh16

    katehh16 Registered User

    Feb 21, 2014
    33
    derbyshire
    Hope that everything was ok for you all. Very tough times, but sometimes there are no other choices, will think of you and hope it works out for the bet xx

    Sent from my SM-G901F using Talking Point mobile app
     
  15. saskia

    saskia Registered User

    Aug 10, 2015
    124
    North Essex
    Cannot thank u all enough for your lovely words & advice....Yday did not go to plan.

    Mum has been sectioned.
    The 2 physciatric docs took less than half an hour to decide, mum was fine for about 10 mins, answered qs like date / year / prime minister perfectly ( I was thinking blimey, they'll laugh at us) however, a few pressing qs about her life, dead dog, dead dad, it soon became very clear she was having flourid episodes, & then the aggression started.

    So paperwork signed, social worker doing their bit & then to be told no beds in our area..!!!!

    The SW couldn't have been more apologetic, but said this is now a v common issue, & it being a Friday, nothing will happen until Monday / Tues...I was nearly physically sick at this point.

    So off they all trot, leaving me & bruv to deal with a highly agitated mum!

    Later in the day, we get a call to say a bed has been found, a bit further than we like, but doable, so Monday morning....We try again.

    Of course mum has completely forgotten everything, but my nerves are shredded, can't think of anything except Mon!

    I will respond to the PMs....Again, you are all fab people & update once it's happened.

    Sas x
     
  16. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    Oh Saskia that's the last thing you needed. Way too much stress. I cannot believe that they put all of you through that to no avail.

    My mum was sectioned in January, originally on a section 2 though now she is on a section 3. Mum was in our local hospital when she was sectioned and she was then transferred to a mental health unit. My mum was actually very calm. I was asked to go with her in the ambulance when they transferred her in case she kicked off. I was lucky she didn't. I'm not quite sure what miracles they thought I could perform if the that hasn't been the case (mum was sectioned due to her violence).

    Sectioning has been good for mum. Her medication has been reviewed and altered. She hates being in a mental health unit and demands to go home pretty much every time I visit, but she isn't hitting, punching, spitting and all the rest of the things she was doing. The staff are completely unfazed by any behaviours, they've seen it all before and have managed it. They really are great with my mum. None of this really helps you with the unbelievable non sectioning of your mum, I just wanted you to hear from someone who's parent was sectioned without major incident. I don't think mum really had a clue what was happening. Whilst mum is far from happy it was the best and really only option left in view of mum's behaviour and it has helped her enormously.
     
  17. Al-4

    Al-4 Registered User

    Dec 30, 2016
    21
    Sorry to hear of your situation. Hope things work out for the best and your mum settles quickly. Will pray the Lord brings comfort to your mum and to you and your family.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  18. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,619
    USA
    Oh, saskia, I can't even imagine what that must be like for you. Sending you all possible best wishes. Please hang in there.
     
  19. Georgina63

    Georgina63 Registered User

    Aug 11, 2014
    954
    Saskia
    Just sending wishes as I have no experience of sectioning, although it has been mentioned in discussions with the CH following my Dad's aggressive behaviour. It must be so stressful and upsetting, but from some of the posts it seems that the outcome could be positive to get the right care for your Mum. I hope it goes as well as possible. Lots of wishes. Georgina X
     
  20. camkam

    camkam Registered User

    Jul 20, 2015
    62
    My mum is causing problems in her care home, she gets violent towards the staff and other residents, refuses to eat, locks herself in her room and I think that before long she will be sectioned. I don't know what the process is, how long it will last, or if the home will keep her room open for her. It feels like we are entering a dark tunnel again...
     

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