Thankyou eveyone for your kindness.
I have been trying to post for the last few days but either havnt had the time or have been too upset or distracted to write, mum died on sunday night at 11.15pm although officially she was declared by the doctor after 12 that night so her certificated date of death is 30th April 2007.
I had been out for a couple of hours as Alice had recieved an award for her archery at a local charity award ceremony, Malcolm had been with mum whilst I was out they had been watching snooker together! I returned home at about 9.45pm and came in and went straight to the loo, Stan, Malcolms father had a brief chat with mum and held her hand, he left her as I returned to her room, ~I noticed he breathing was quite bubbly as it had been whilst she was in hospital, I made her comfy and sat her a bit more upright, then went to relax in the sitting room as I felt I needed to be on my own, i had spent a difficult night with her the night before as se was very unsettled and nothing I cold do seemed to help her, I felt that being with her yet unable to make her comfortable and relaxed was frustrating for mum as well as myself as she relied on me for evrytng and I was in this case unable to do what she needed. At about five past elemen I went to the bathroom and washed ect, as I came out Malcolm stepped out of mums room saying that she was fast asleep, I went into the room and immediately realised something was different, I knew she had gone and checked her breathing, I called to malcolm saying she had gone, he came back from the kitchen and said that he had seen her breathing, it became obvious that mum had passed away as Malcolm came out of the room and I went into it, she was still very warm, her mouth and eyes were open, I closed her eyes but they remained slightly open, then I asked Malcolm to fetch his father who lives over the road, Stan came in and looked at mum, he confirmed what I already knew, that she had passed away, but was confused that her eyes were closed, I explained that I had closed them. He sat with me for a short while one each side of her bed, the dogs laid on the floor. I called the doctor after about 10 minutes, then called myh cousin Angela, we chatted for a while then said goodbye, almost immediatley the doctor rang, he needed directions, I gave these and he arrived within 5 minutes, he checked mums pulse and eyes and agreed that she had died, he explained that because her GP had not told the after hours service that she was expected to die the coroner and police would have to be involved but assured me that she would be able to remain with us till the morning, he phoned the police and an officer arrived within about 5 minutes, he came in and I helped him to examine mums body to ensure she had not obvious wounds or injuries, then I had to give him information to fill in a form, he then explained that mum would hav e to be taken straight away to the local hospital, I was very upset because I wanted her to stay till the morning, I sat with her for about 1/2 to 3/4 of an hour till the duty undertakers arrived, they asked if I wanted to stay whilst they dealt with mum and I thought I did till they told me they had to put her into a white plastic body bag, I knew I could not bear to see this so went out of the room, Bertie mums dog was lying on the chair next to her bed, he wouldnt move and I had to pick him up and carry him out of the room, within a few minutes mum had been taken away, the undertakers had even left the door open, I suddenly felt very empty and alone.