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Moving on after my mum’s death

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Kikki21, Aug 29, 2019.

  1. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    So I appear to be decongesting now which I take to be a good sign so I hope the lurgy is shifting. Seems I am going to have to remind the executor to put some money in my account. I do hope he does not resume his stance in being difficult as it will result in some really ugly stuff occurring!
    My cousin’s brother & his cousin who are beneficiaries are going to keep contacting him till he answers. They will keep onto him. And they won’t let it go. The executor doesn’t know that I have given the figures of who is owed what to my cousin G. This is so we can keep tabs on him in case, he tries to underpay them.
    If it was me, knowing what I know now, I would just be paying the money out ASAP & getting rid of it.

    As it is, I want some of the money so I can finish off my lounge & my kitchen/dining room. I need curtains & cushions & throws. We still need to wallpaper & paint but we will do that later. Still loads of finishing bits to undertake!
     
  2. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    #222 Kikki21, Dec 14, 2019
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2019
    So house progress is coming on a treat! We now have 3 base unit carcasses built in the kitchen & my boyfriend wants to build all of them to then put everything into place but that involves ripping out the existing kitchen - he is now off work so we should make good progress this week. I’ve just ordered more additional wood laminate flooring & will need to get another base unit plus a sink & taps.
    We will then need to get the tiles as well & a new blind plus further electrical work to be done.

    My lurgy is getting better. I finally went to get my hair sorted yesterday, a few weeks later than originally planned so at least it is all fresh for Christmas & the New Year now. I am still chasing my deposit back from the lettings agents. The landlord is very difficult to get hold of & this is not going down well with anyone.

    I got an email back this week from the lettings agent as he was concerned about some rubbish bags left at the property but as I pointed out the check out was Saturday & the bin collection was Monday!

    Most of the bags got taken & then the rest we have put into our bin & the property bin ready for collection again on Monday. The landlord was at the property yesterday & I really wanted to give him an earful as we have left the property inside professionally cleaned, the garden has been all tidied & we have sorted out the rubbish. I said all this to the lettings agent & basically said, release the deposit right now or I am raising a dispute with the deposit tenancy scheme - the letting agency have a really bad
    reputation round here & you can see why!

    I’ve never had to wait this long to get back my deposit. In my view, if you are a landlord then you need to be contactable at all times in case there is an issue, not when you feel like it like this idiot seems to think it is acceptable! As for the letting agency they also messed up the sales going ahead as they didn’t properly quantify the buyer’s buyer which resulted in a huge delay. I know the buyer of my mum’s bungalow was going to put in a formal complaint!
     
  3. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,503
    Yorkshire
    Hoping you get your deposit back soon - very glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better. xx
     
  4. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    I had better get an email on Monday saying it is released or like I say I will have to raise a dispute. I’m just so glad I’m no longer renting any more! I bet you can’t wait to move in to your home @Marcelle123! I’m sort of coughing & spluttering now after the lurgy.

    I’m a bit concerned that the house feels cold especially downstairs. I think it is the lounge that draws in the cold somewhere. You come in straight through the front door which is one of my pet hates but we are planning to build a porch which should help but then the stairs go straight upstairs & the lounge has a very small radiator for the size of it!
    There is a gas fire but it doesn’t seem to work so I have asked for a plumbing & heating engineer to come & give it a service as that would hopefully help a lot!
    There are also patio doors that lead outside but these seem to be well sealed so it looks like the front door could be the culprit. Xx
     
  5. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,503
    Yorkshire
    #225 Marcelle123, Dec 15, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2019
    Hope you get it sorted. I think it's a wise idea to get an engineer to check these issues. Our survey found out that the house we have now bought had a gas pipe adrift in the roof space which made our gas fire in the lounge unsafe. Luckily, our vendor got it fixed before we completed the purchase.

    Yes, you're right that we can't wait to move - we have a nice place to rent here in central York, but I can't really relax in a place that isn't our own. We are glad to be here for Christmas, since my husband has a second bout of laser therapy coming up in Sheffield on Friday and our flat is within walking distance of the station, but all the same, I am very impatient to get in!

    I hope our own check-out from rental goes well - the last tenants got a lot of their deposit held on to because they had let the garden go a bit. I did quite a lot of gardening when I moved in, but haven't lately! Or much housework either, what with driving up to the new house so often. Luckily we move out a couple of weeks before the lease runs out, so have a chance to get it all back up to scratch.

    Best of luck with getting your own deposit back. I can't see why not, since you had it professionally cleaned. Delays like that are maddening!

    Very best wishes,
    Marcelle xx
     
  6. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    You’re right @Marcelle123 you don’t want to mess around with gas. I managed to find an engineer to come on Wednesday afternoon to service the gas fire! He’s the one that used to do the servicing on the rental property so I think he’ll find ours a lot more modern! He was nice & friendly & also there are some other jobs to do around the house so I need quotes for those too.
    I hope your husband gets on ok with the laser therapy on Friday! Best of wishes for you both for that!
    Still nothing from the lettings agent today so I started filling in the details for the deposit dispute scheme. It is now over 14 days since they have held onto it. I have asked for the deposit back several times. The new tenants have moved in today. They had the keys yesterday but signed for it today ( bit strange) he came round with some post & had a chat & then said to me that the lettings agents might be billing me for the rubbish that was left at the property?!
    I said you mean all the rubbish that we cleared?! So yes at the time of the check out, there were a number of bin bags outside & I said to the check out person that as the general bin collection was on Monday that most of them would be gone by then & then we would ensure that if any remained that we would put the rest in the bin & take over any other rubbish to our bin which we did.
    The landlord came the other day & could see it was all neat & tidy & no more rubbish. So if they try to fine me then I will definitely dispute it. Also I tried to let the landlord know that I was leaving some items for the new tenants as he indicated he wanted some stuff leaving but I have since found out, he doesn’t use his mobile or if he does, he doesn’t communicate with it so I couldn’t let him know anyway! I never heard anything from the lettings agents for 10 days so like I said, I am really disgusted with them! Xx
     
  7. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,503
    Yorkshire
    Oh dear, @Kikki21 - the last thing you need now, when you're so busy with the house and looking forward to Christmas. They have no right to bill you for rubbish that's been cleared, and it's horrible having to wait around and not being able to contact your landlord.

    I hope you manage to get through today, and that you are speedily given your deposit back. xx
     
  8. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    I sent another very stern email saying that if there are no issues then give me my deposit back like now! I have also found a complaint email for the lettings agents so I have complained this morning as well. They have till midday today to contact me & if not then I have no choice but to use the dispute scheme. I’m absolutely fuming at them. Have rented since Dec 2012 & never had issues getting my deposit back but this is appalling. I have looked on social media & seen similar stories. One woman not had her deposit back since 25th Nov! Terrible service.
    It is delivery central here today in respect of stuff coming for the kitchen & also Christmas presents! Xx
     

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  9. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    So in the end I had no response to either of my emails so I had no choice but to raise a dispute with the protected deposit scheme. I really don’t need this on top of everything else!
    My cousin G said that the executor had been in touch with the Polish contingent of the beneficiaries & would do a test payment for them to ensure the bank info was correct - this was my suggestion anyway. I don’t want to see large sums of money going astray! I have asked him if anyone has been in touch but he hasn’t said anything to me - ignoring me as per usual and also to when I have asked him for what is in the bank now.
    I do want to get a larger sum of money transferred so I can finish off the kitchen & we can start with roofing over between the house & the outhouse & that we can get the puppy! To be honest, I am within my rights to ask for the whole lot but I just know he would be funny about that!
    Here’s a photo of our mosaic kitchen tiles & a cute photo of Kikki & Kali snuggles up in their own sofa Narnia! Xx
     

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  10. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,503
    Yorkshire
    Sorry to hear about all the hassle, @Kikki21 - but thanks for posting the pictures of your adorable cats. Very best wishes xx
     
  11. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    Wishing you all a very happy Christmas!
    It’s Christmas Eve, our house isn’t fully renovated as yet but that really doesn’t matter as such. I have Christmassed up the lounge even though that isn’t ready as yet either but my new curtains are up & I love them. I love the whole house actually as it really does have a lovely, calm & peaceful aura to it - it really does feel like home.
    I have felt my mum around me this morning & I have had feathers all around the outside of the house ( not asked for any either!) so I know she is about & is probably curious how the house is coming along! It’s going to be strange without her as Christmas was a big part of her life & she really enjoyed it, especially Christmas Eve evening where we had the traditional supper. We are opening 1 present tonight & then we have a stocking plus more wrapped gifts - well I have as I have wrapped them but my boyfriend still has to wrap his & we still have a bit of shopping to do! We did most of the food shop yesterday & it was quite mental at the supermarkets as I think most people had the same idea!

    I would like to wish everyone a very happy Christmas & although things are not resolved in my world as yet, I’m going to make sure that we enjoy Christmas as much as we can xx
     
  12. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    Christmas 2019 in our very own home!
     

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  13. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,503
    Yorkshire
    What lovely photos! Thank you for your Christmas wishes. Wishing you & your boyfriend a very happy Christmas too, and a fabulous New Year. xx
     
  14. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,581
    Hope your Christmas builds up good memories. Xxx
     
  15. DianeW

    DianeW Registered User

    Sep 10, 2013
    552
    Lytham St Annes
    Love the photos Kikki, so happy that you are finally in your new home and enjoying it.
     
  16. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    Thank you everyone for your Christmas wishes. I have had a lovely time of it. My boyfriend was like a big kid on Christmas Eve night & on Christmas Day morning & it was great opening our gifts! He was very pleased with his gifts & I was very happy with mine!
    Christmas Day was very relaxed, we had a quick trip up to see his mum & dad & his sister & then we made dinner at leisure in between watching TV & later on the Gavin & Stacey special ( we are both fans of the show!) we were about asleep by 10pm!

    Today we went into town, sale shopping, had a pub lunch, drinks & met up with my boyfriend’s mum & his sister for a few drinks while we were in town. We stayed in town longer although yet again, we were rained on & it was quite cold! We are not working on the house for a few days now but we’ll start work again next week. My boyfriend deserves some proper time off from it for sure! Xx
     
  17. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    I hope everyone has had a good Christmas although of course I know many of us are remembering lots of Christmases past with our loved ones who have gained their wings. We are starting back up with the house tomorrow & my boyfriend was getting the underlay down in the kitchen to get prepped for more floor laying going down.
    We are starting to rip out the old kitchen next so I need to buy taps & tiles some time soon. I have the sink ready & then we really need to sort out our roofing project ASAP as that involves the washing machine & tumble drier relocating into our outhouse extension area but we are roofing over the existing outhouse & joining it to the house - lots of people do this in different ways in our area so we just want some quotes & hopefully away we go - that is if the executor plays ball with me.
    According to my cousin G, he is being funny with some of the other family members now. He has gone back to saying that the DWP are delaying stuff which totally doesn’t involve them
    & of course we know how much money is coming out of the estate. He also said he didn’t believe what I told him! He really is a piece of work.
    He told cousin G’s brother J that he would pay him his share of the money before Christmas but he didn’t...... apparently he has paid out to cousin Z & also to my mum’s friend T & he has corresponded with my cousin R so I need an update as to what is going on & a fresh total add up. I intend to ask him for half of my remaining money which will be interesting! I know I am
    perfectly entitled to ask him for all of it x
     
  18. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,503
    Yorkshire
    Sorry to hear of these further difficulties.
    Hopefully you are on the last lap now, and will be sorted out before too long.

    Happy New Year - hope 2020 is a marvellous year for you, and a New Start. xx
     
  19. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,191
    Female
    East Midlands
    Thank you @Marcelle123 there is just no reason for him to be awkward at all. He hasn’t paid my cousin J anything & he is fuming. He has paid my mum’s friend T, he has paid my cousin Z & his son K & I know he has corresponded with my cousin R but I am not sure what he has paid her if anything.
    I have just asked him for some more money which he hasn’t even acknowledged via message. I sent the request hours ago but although he has read the message - he has not said anything back or paid the money. I am pretty fed up being beholden to him like this if truth be known for no reason whatsoever now. Xx
     
  20. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,526
    Essex
    I've written a review of the year which features how I am starting to move on after dad's death.

    MaNaAk
     
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