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Moving on after my mum’s death

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Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,259
East Midlands
Wishing all of you a very happy new year 2020! I must admit I am writing this with a bit of a lump in my throat & missing my mum. We are experiencing more bumps in the road again with the executor & he has not paid any money to my cousin J nor has he contacted him.
He was meant to pay him his share of the inheritance money for Christmas & then he was meant to transfer it today & he hasn’t. My cousin J is fuming & has basically told him that he is untrustworthy. He has also ignored my request too. He reckons he has spoken to the DWP which we don’t believe he has actually & again they have not told him what they are owed. Even though I went through this a few weeks ago with the lady who was incredibly helpful & I have even told him how the amount has been calculated & shown my workings out.

He refuses to accept this. I have even written him several emails stating that if the DWP were owed any money over the estate funds then I would accept liability but no, he is not budging. I think I will have to take further legal action & I have told him that he will be liable for my costs & it looks like I will have to report him to the probate court as well.
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
567
Lytham St Annes
As he has been somewhat awkward from the beginning I don’t think he is going to be any different now....

Why haven’t the DWP given a final bill for amount owed, if they told you the amount when you spoke to them which was a few weeks ago if I’m not mistaken, why no letter or bill??

Have all the other estate bills/expenses now been settled apart from DWP? Because it may be that he doesn’t believe how much is owed until he gets official confirmation, and as he really didn’t want this role, he may just be trying to protect himself, prior to paying beneficiaries, but really if that’s how he feels he shouldn’t have paid anybody.

I Know it’s very difficult for you not being in control of your Mums affairs and having to deal with the executor under these conflicts etc.
It may well be that you do need to obtain legal advice again, as he is just not easy to deal with.

All the very best for 2020, and I hope for a quick resolution so that everything can finally be settled.

I am so glad your in your new home and managed so much of the work, good luck with the kitchen etc...
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,259
East Midlands
As he has been somewhat awkward from the beginning I don’t think he is going to be any different now....

Why haven’t the DWP given a final bill for amount owed, if they told you the amount when you spoke to them which was a few weeks ago if I’m not mistaken, why no letter or bill??

Have all the other estate bills/expenses now been settled apart from DWP? Because it may be that he doesn’t believe how much is owed until he gets official confirmation, and as he really didn’t want this role, he may just be trying to protect himself, prior to paying beneficiaries, but really if that’s how he feels he shouldn’t have paid anybody.

I Know it’s very difficult for you not being in control of your Mums affairs and having to deal with the executor under these conflicts etc.
It may well be that you do need to obtain legal advice again, as he is just not easy to deal with.

All the very best for 2020, and I hope for a quick resolution so that everything can finally be settled.

I am so glad your in your new home and managed so much of the work, good luck with the kitchen etc...
I’m not sure why the DWP have not written to him with the final amount to be paid but this is what I’m going to urge happens tomorrow. He has paid out to beneficiaries with smaller amounts of inheritance but that is only 3 people so far & it involves 1 x £1000 amount & 2 x £500 amounts.
The woman told me exactly how the calculations are worked out. That it only involves 1 year & the worst case scenario amount which I know it won’t come to which was just over £2k to pay back anyway as my mum had less in the bank than the final total amount in March 2018 so I know it will be in the region of £1800 to pay back.
Everything else is settled bar the DWP - oh & paying the beneficiaries including myself.

The DWP have a duty to tell you the right information & amount so for the executor to basically disrespect me like this by saying he doesn’t believe me is just incredulous. He has also disrespected my family member by saying he will transfer his money before Christmas & not doing so then he was meant to transfer the money yesterday & nothing.
I’m absolutely disgusted at this man. It also means that he keeps slowing up house renovation progress as well, I’m fed up of the stop start process of this!
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
567
Lytham St Annes
I do understand your feelings towards the executor, let’s hope you can request a final bill from DWP, so that everything can then be settled.....surely he himself must want an end to everything!!!
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,259
East Midlands
I do understand your feelings towards the executor, let’s hope you can request a final bill from DWP, so that everything can then be settled.....surely he himself must want an end to everything!!!
He must be one of the most obstructive people I have ever dealt with. Yet again, I have done his job for him although what the DWP are playing at I really don’t know!
I have a headache from dealing with it all. I rang them up & have been given a much higher figure than previously. Yep I was told the figure would be a maximum of £2392 & as I knew there was less in my mum’s bank accounts then I estimated the figure would be £1800 ish - so today I am told the figure is £5550!!! My mum did not have that amount of money based on how they calculate it in her bank accounts & I know as I knew what was them!!!
I immediately said well this is news to me & also a far higher figure than what I was quoted previously. Apparently the advisor couldn’t tell me much more but that a claim letter was going out by the end of this week. He also clarified that it is only looking at pension credit & only relating back a year - there is an issue here for sure!
After an hour of trying to get my head round it all, I then rang them back to speak to another advisor who completely backtracked on everything I had been told apart from how the figures are based & told me no claim
letter had been sent. Are these people actually real, do they have a brain? I’m livid at them.
I have had to tell this to the executor & there are more fun & games as one of the beneficiaries wants to see a copy of the Will which he is entitled to - so he will see the disparity between his share & his cousins which will see further fireworks.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,259
East Midlands
Suffice to say that it has not been a very good day today. I have found a no win no fee contentious probate solicitor to call in the morning as the executor has not transferred any money into my account.
He sent me some spreadsheets which didn’t make much sense & I said much simpler is to take off the what is owing as a total ( made up of what is owing to the beneficiaries & DWP) & what’s left is the rest of the estate that I inherit but that seems too easy for him.
I feel that now he is discriminating against me if he is paying out to the other beneficiaries & not me then he shouldn’t be treating me any differently.
And my cousin G told me that as to the very much opposed 2nd funeral in Poland that he would need to seek permission from her brother to carry it out & after his treatment of him then he will refuse in any case as everyone is really worried about moving the grave stone. So he will find that that is blocked. And the grave just isn’t my grandparents but my other cousins & they are all opposed to it. And all of them like & approve of my alternative.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,259
East Midlands
However even the scattering of ashes may not be permissible in Poland or there is a fair amount of red tape to go through as in contacting the Polish Embassy etc & seeking permission!
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
567
Lytham St Annes
The sad thing about this Kikki is money for a solicitor is going to come from your inheritance not the other beneficiaries........

It’s such a shame it’s so difficult to resolve, the DWP are a law unto themselves, and until you see the bill in black and white, where you can check the figures correctly it can’t be resolved, I think the executor needs to hold all the remaining money now until this is sorted, and then he can wind up the estate and pay beneficiaries out.

I know that you want a further payment but I think things need finalising first.

Maybe ring DWP again ask for manager who can give you a decision on amount owed followed up in writing.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,259
East Midlands
The sad thing about this Kikki is money for a solicitor is going to come from your inheritance not the other beneficiaries........

It’s such a shame it’s so difficult to resolve, the DWP are a law unto themselves, and until you see the bill in black and white, where you can check the figures correctly it can’t be resolved, I think the executor needs to hold all the remaining money now until this is sorted, and then he can wind up the estate and pay beneficiaries out.

I know that you want a further payment but I think things need finalising first.

Maybe ring DWP again ask for manager who can give you a decision on amount owed followed up in writing.
I know the executor has made the 2 largest payments & the smaller ones to the beneficiaries so he has paid them so he shouldn’t treat me any differently but he is.
I’m not asking for a large payment - £1500 against what is left over is not much. Of course, I don’t want to start legal action but I won’t be discriminated against & it is blatant discrimination what he is doing now. That’s the worrying thing that he can’t even add up.

I might ring the DWP & ask to speak to a manager as you suggest because this situation is now ridiculous. I need a letter or for them to contact the executor today.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
2,965
West Hertfordshire
The sad thing about this Kikki is money for a solicitor is going to come from your inheritance not the other beneficiaries........

It’s such a shame it’s so difficult to resolve, the DWP are a law unto themselves, and until you see the bill in black and white, where you can check the figures correctly it can’t be resolved, I think the executor needs to hold all the remaining money now until this is sorted, and then he can wind up the estate and pay beneficiaries out.
I , as an executor, didnt pay out even a penny to ANY of the beneficiaries until I was absolutely certain that every last debt to the estate was sorted and finalised ( and paid) as I believe this absolutely the responsibility of the executor

No part payment, no specific bequests- how can an exec pay out until he knows the final estate total? It is HIS responsibility, and if he gives money to anyone and it subsequently due to the DWP HE is responsible for paying it. I wouldn't leave myself in that position .

he really isnt discriminating against you- he's doing his job and will no doubt pay you the residue when he's satisfied all the debts are paid
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
907
I know the executor has made the 2 largest payments & the smaller ones to the beneficiaries so he has paid them so he shouldn’t treat me any differently but he is.
I’m not asking for a large payment - £1500 against what is left over is not much. Of course, I don’t want to start legal action but I won’t be discriminated against & it is blatant discrimination what he is doing now. That’s the worrying thing that he can’t even add up.

I might ring the DWP & ask to speak to a manager as you suggest because this situation is now ridiculous. I need a letter or for them to contact the executor today.
I really think that what he has done wrong is making any payments from the estate before all creditors have been paid
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
907
I , as an executor, didnt pay out even a penny to ANY of the beneficiaries until I was absolutely certain that every last debt to the estate was sorted and finalised ( and paid) as I believe this absolutely the responsibility of the executor

No part payment, no specific bequests- how can an exec pay out until he knows the final estate total? It is HIS responsibility, and if he gives money to anyone and it subsequently due to the DWP HE is responsible for paying it. I wouldn't leave myself in that position .

he really isnt discriminating against you- he's doing his job and will no doubt pay you the residue when he's satisfied all the debts are paid
I agree, I executed both my parent's wills, I applied for probate and put notices in The London Gazzette,onthe basis that although I had managed their finances for some time there could have creditors from years ago. And I did not distribute any money before I was certain that all debts were paid. This is what the law demands.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
2,965
West Hertfordshire
I was told the figure would be a maximum of £2392 & as I knew there was less in my mum’s bank accounts then I estimated the figure would be £1800 ish - so today I am told the figure is £5550!!! My mum did not have that amount of money based on how they calculate it in her bank accounts & I know as I knew what was them!!!

??? That isnt how it works.

The figure they require to be be paid back has no bearing on what is/was in her bank account

It comes from the estate, from a culmination of what was in her bank account+ any other monitary assests + proceeds from the sale of her property.

That forms ''her estate''. Irrespective of her will, the exec is charges with paying all debts ''to the estate'' from those proceeds before he pays the benificiaries with ''the residue''
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,259
East Midlands
I was categorically told by the DWP that in terms of my mum’s estate & payments owing to the DWP that it was as a result as to what was the monetary value in her accounts - that is from the first 2 occasions when I rang them. They told me how they calculate the amount otherwise why would I be quoting that sum of money?

I have spoken to someone else today who now says that they “may” seek further payments from assets which would include my mum’s property.
I’m not disputing that there will be a payment to the DWP but what I am saying is that the executor has now made payments to the other beneficiaries as well so despite him telling me he is not making a payment to me, he is & has made payments to other people despite him then telling me that the DWP have told him not to distribute the estate. The man is a complete hypocrite & a total liar too.

Earlier, he told me that my cousin J had given him permission to open up the gravestone & hold the 2nd funeral in Poland for my mum. This is categorically not the case as his sister my cousin G has told me that he hasn’t given him permission & that he won’t do so either so considering the executor has a position of trust, it’s apparent that he is abusing it left, right & centre & that is my issue.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
2,965
West Hertfordshire
So what is ''the situation now' that you are being treated unfairly? he might feel comfortable paying out odd bequests of relatively small sums, but you have already had a large chunk to purchase your house ( which you really shouldn't have done before the estate was finalised.)

Bottom line is, he must be certain he has enough in the exec pot to pay back the DWP- From the estate- the sum of her wealth, not just what was in the bank-
and if that means no more ''interim payments' so be it and it may very well be that the DWP have told him ( rightly) that he shouldnt distribute any more until they have had what they are owed.
 
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theunknown

Registered User
Apr 17, 2015
398
I agree (as an executor for my mum) that, as some posters have stated, there's no way the executor should be paying out an inheritance in dribs and drabs. When probate is finalised the estate is distributed to everyone due to inherit, at the same time, (in the UK). If interim payments before probate are made they can't come out of the estate.
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
567
Lytham St Annes
I agree Kikki, it does sound like he is now possibly afraid of not having enough money to pay DWP, and if I were in his shoes I too would be very concerned as he has not acted correctly, by paying out already.

What is taking them so long to give a final bill, did you speak to a manager today?

Let’s say for example there is £10k left in the estate and DWP issue a bill of £12k......he is going to be in serious trouble.

I honestly advise you sit tight now and hopefully as I said the bill will be finalised soon, and he can settle the estate.

Jessbow is spot on they are going to calculate her entitlement to PC based on her income, and all monetary assets.
However even when you have the final bill, I would still have it checked just to make sure they have calculated correctly.....mistakes can happen and I’m sure CAB will help.
 
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Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,547
Yorkshire
@Kikki21 - I'm going offline today for a week or two, till we've moved & sorted out our new house.

Just to wish you all the best in sorting this out amicably and fairly for you & all your family. Will be thinking of you & saying a prayer.

Love & best wishes,
Marcelle xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,259
East Midlands
So what is ''the situation now' that you are being treated unfairly? he might feel comfortable paying out odd bequests of relatively small sums, but you have already had a large chunk to purchase your house ( which you really shouldn't have done before the estate was finalised.)

Bottom line is, he must be certain he has enough in the exec pot to pay back the DWP- From the estate- the sum of her wealth, not just what was in the bank-
and if that means no more ''interim payments' so be it and it may very well be that the DWP have told him ( rightly) that he shouldnt distribute any more until they have had what they are owed.
He has distributed the 2 largest amounts of money to other beneficiaries in the Will. He can’t do that & then tell me the DWP have told him not to distribute the estate as he has distributed the estate anyway so he is contradicting himself.
There is still money in the estate pot to cover the DWP payment.
 
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