I am sure there are a lot of us about at the moment. All I see everywhere is about Mothers Day. My Mom is still here but in the late stages. I so miss my Mom at the moment. 
Mothers Day
- Thread starter Wendy C
- Start date
Mum is still mum - difficult as she often is. I've got a nice card - big and very bright.
The card isn't at all like the cards mum used to like - but that's life and mum will be happy to receive it. The card will be whisked away when she goes to bed - I can't bear the "what's this?" "no one told me!!!" aftermath.
The card isn't at all like the cards mum used to like - but that's life and mum will be happy to receive it. The card will be whisked away when she goes to bed - I can't bear the "what's this?" "no one told me!!!" aftermath.
Hello Wendy - I know just how you feel. I wish I could have one last chat with my mum to tell her Im happy now with my lovely hubby (She always worried about me being on my own) and its ok to let go and fall asleep. That one last chat to tell her I love her so much and to thank her for all the love she gave me. big big big hug xxxx
Such a sad day for so many of us, I have to just slip my card into mums room now as she hasn't got a clue what cards are, same as present buying, nothing is wrapped any more as she no longer understands. I just can't stop marking all the special days as she is still here. I also choose a card with such different wording than I used to for her. Hugs to all xx
Ange
Ange
I physically lost Mum last year but then it comes home that Mum hadn't known what cards were for or what Mothering Sunday was for at least the last 4 years. When I saw the cards in the shops I had to go and hide behind a stand while I pulled myself together.
I have bought my mum a bright Mothering Sunday (not Mother's Day card she has always hated the phrase) card with simple words. I am planning to visit with flowers. She will not understand or appreciate it but I will still try. My brother will not visit at all as usual or send a card.
I'm looking forward to seeing mum on Mother's Day and want to bring her some flowers and a nice card with photos of us and her grandson in it.
But at the same time I am dreading the visit as her state of mind is so unpredictable. Plus, she doesn't know what day or time of day it is, let alone that it would be Mother's Day.
*sigh* Just have to keep chin up, smile and enjoy our time best we can
But at the same time I am dreading the visit as her state of mind is so unpredictable. Plus, she doesn't know what day or time of day it is, let alone that it would be Mother's Day.
*sigh* Just have to keep chin up, smile and enjoy our time best we can
We've never done Mother's Day or Father's Day in my family but this year it's hit home. All the ads up in supermarkets saying things like "Treat your mum to something special." Mine's lying in a hospital bed barely able to eat anything. The last thing I treated her to was chocolates and three little pots of her favourite desserts to try to get her to eat something. That was on Monday and they're probably still on the tray along with the unopened packets of biscuits I brought her two weeks ago.
I'm also getting promotional emails about taking my mother out for lunch and a free glass of champagne. Oh if only. If only it was possible to turn the clock back, if only it was possible to take some kind of medication that undid all this, restored someone to what they were. I can't ever take her out again. We can't ever share a joke, laugh together, talk about the silly little things that happen during the day. We're past that stage, she can't even smile now.
And meanwhile I sit here trying to get on with my life and wondering when the phone is going to ring with the next instalment of news I don't want to hear.
I'm also getting promotional emails about taking my mother out for lunch and a free glass of champagne. Oh if only. If only it was possible to turn the clock back, if only it was possible to take some kind of medication that undid all this, restored someone to what they were. I can't ever take her out again. We can't ever share a joke, laugh together, talk about the silly little things that happen during the day. We're past that stage, she can't even smile now.
And meanwhile I sit here trying to get on with my life and wondering when the phone is going to ring with the next instalment of news I don't want to hear.
Mother's Day
I was looking at a gift-wrapped pot-plant yesterday, in a local Garden Centre that my husband and I visit frequently and this particular plant had a label 'Thanks, Mum' attached to it.
Oh, I thought to myself, what a shame that I cannot thank my Mum this year for just 'being Mum' firstly, because she does not know now that I am her daughter and secondly, because she will not know that it is Mother's Day on Sunday!
Then, I thought of my husband who lost his Mum when he was just 21 and then I gave a thought to a lady whom we have become friendly with, who works on the till in the very same garden centre.
She lost her daughter this year and therefore her grandson (aged 3) will not be able to see his Mum and give her a posy or a card.
One of the things I miss most is that I cannot have a good old chinwag with Mum, either over the 'phone or in person, but I have just posted her a card,
wondering how many more years I will be able do this.
Hubby and I just try to keep doing the things that will make her life a little easier.
best wishes,
longshanks.
I was looking at a gift-wrapped pot-plant yesterday, in a local Garden Centre that my husband and I visit frequently and this particular plant had a label 'Thanks, Mum' attached to it.
Oh, I thought to myself, what a shame that I cannot thank my Mum this year for just 'being Mum' firstly, because she does not know now that I am her daughter and secondly, because she will not know that it is Mother's Day on Sunday!
Then, I thought of my husband who lost his Mum when he was just 21 and then I gave a thought to a lady whom we have become friendly with, who works on the till in the very same garden centre.
She lost her daughter this year and therefore her grandson (aged 3) will not be able to see his Mum and give her a posy or a card.
One of the things I miss most is that I cannot have a good old chinwag with Mum, either over the 'phone or in person, but I have just posted her a card,
wondering how many more years I will be able do this.
Hubby and I just try to keep doing the things that will make her life a little easier.
best wishes,
longshanks.
First mother's day for me since losing my mum which is sad.But so much sadder for my nieces who lost their Mum aged 10 and 5.I hate to think of them in school when the kids are making cards etc,I hope the teachers deal with it sensitively,can't ask because their father cut off all contact with us within a month of their mother's death.
Second Mothers Day for me without my Mam but all the harder this year as it would also have been her birthday on the same day. Still doesn't seem real. I miss her so much. Xx
Thank you. You are so right. xx
Sending you a hug Wendy, Mothers Day and all the other special days just bring it home on what has been lost
Chris x
Thank you all for your replies, it really does help.
Well the day day is nearly on us. Its an awful feeling when the adverts come on and its all Mothers Day. I am a Mother myself to two wonderful daughters, and my first grandchild, who was due last Tuesday is causing his Mom some discomfort. He may arrive tomorrow which will be wonderful.
I have just got my Moms card out to write, but I don't know what to put in it. She won't understand that its her day and how much I love and miss her.
Anyway happy Mothers Day to all you Moms out there, and to all of us who still have Moms living this awful disease.
Well the day day is nearly on us. Its an awful feeling when the adverts come on and its all Mothers Day. I am a Mother myself to two wonderful daughters, and my first grandchild, who was due last Tuesday is causing his Mom some discomfort. He may arrive tomorrow which will be wonderful.
I have just got my Moms card out to write, but I don't know what to put in it. She won't understand that its her day and how much I love and miss her.
Anyway happy Mothers Day to all you Moms out there, and to all of us who still have Moms living this awful disease.
Like Mercuria, we never bothered much with Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc even when Mum was well, but this year all the adverts and gifts in the shops have really got to me. Mum won't (or can't) even talk to me over the phone or Skype anymore (though apparently she can just about still hold a basic conversation with other people on the phone, which makes me rather suspect the former), and if I even try to speak to my dad for more than a few minutes, she gets agitated and even aggressive. She can't come to visit me in person anymore as she wouldn't be able to manage the stairs up to my flat. I visit her and Dad as much as I can, but what with living about 100 miles away and working, it's not as often as I would like.
Happy Mother's Day to all you mums out there.
Today wasn't all doom and gloom. I felt the usual anxiety and dread on my way to visiting mum in the nursing home and when I arrived, she wasn't in her room or either of the day rooms. Naturally i got rather worried until I heard her voice down the corridor - she had simply been wandering around.
Got her back to her room and gave her flowers and a card - she didn't have a clue it was Mother's Day of course but she was in the best state I've seen her for a long time. Smiling, laughing, alert and remembering names here and there. She even let me put socks on without putting up a fuss (a minor, insignificant thing, you would think - but I'm sure so many of you understand how even the simplest of tasks can be very difficult).
So, I got to spend time with my mum and left feeling a little more relaxed that I would normally. She couldn't read the card but brightened up everytime I said it was Mother's Day. I do love my mum and always will - as someone mentioned earlier in this thread, mum will always be mum, no matter what state she's in physically or mentally.
Today wasn't all doom and gloom. I felt the usual anxiety and dread on my way to visiting mum in the nursing home and when I arrived, she wasn't in her room or either of the day rooms. Naturally i got rather worried until I heard her voice down the corridor - she had simply been wandering around.
Got her back to her room and gave her flowers and a card - she didn't have a clue it was Mother's Day of course but she was in the best state I've seen her for a long time. Smiling, laughing, alert and remembering names here and there. She even let me put socks on without putting up a fuss (a minor, insignificant thing, you would think - but I'm sure so many of you understand how even the simplest of tasks can be very difficult).
So, I got to spend time with my mum and left feeling a little more relaxed that I would normally. She couldn't read the card but brightened up everytime I said it was Mother's Day. I do love my mum and always will - as someone mentioned earlier in this thread, mum will always be mum, no matter what state she's in physically or mentally.
I took mum in a card and some presents, she doesnt understand cards or presents now so they were things she needed really, bubble baths, slippers and some nice hand cream. She enjoyed me massaging the cream into her left hand, not so much the right
opening the card for her and reading the words were more for my benefit than hers i guess. She doesnt focus on an object now - she didn't really 'see' the flowers i got her last year - she always used to love flowers.
It must be really tough on mothers day when you have lost your mum im sure, but also hard when you have lost who they used to be.
Likewise no sibling contact here!
opening the card for her and reading the words were more for my benefit than hers i guess. She doesnt focus on an object now - she didn't really 'see' the flowers i got her last year - she always used to love flowers.
It must be really tough on mothers day when you have lost your mum im sure, but also hard when you have lost who they used to be.
Likewise no sibling contact here!
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Mother's Day
This is a difficult day for anyone who has lost their Mum, or who is losing them slowly through this horrible disease. My sister and my Dad brought Mum to my house today for 'afternoon tea'...(thank you M&S for the cakes ) She arrived looking nice and had had her hair done. The care home she has been in for the last five months had made a bit of a fuss of the residents. They had all been given cards and presents, which was lovely....
Mum doesn't open cards or pressies now...she just sits and is confused about what to do...but give her a bit of costume jewellery that sparkles and she is happy. She didn't know it was Mother's day, and asked if it was her birthday. Didn't help the confusion when the CD I had playing suddenly went to White Christmas lol! Had to explain it wasn't! We had a nice afternoon and looked at old photos and sat and chatted ( not all sense!) , but all of the time I was thinking What will next year be like? Will we be able to take her out? Will she know who we are (this ability comes and goes) Will she still be here (she is very thin now). it is so sad to watch your Mum decline this way.
So wherever you are on your journey I am sending you a virtual hug tonight and thank you to the T.P. member who added some perspective by reminding us that some lose their mothers far earlier in life and that too is tough to bear. xxxx
This is a difficult day for anyone who has lost their Mum, or who is losing them slowly through this horrible disease. My sister and my Dad brought Mum to my house today for 'afternoon tea'...(thank you M&S for the cakes
) She arrived looking nice and had had her hair done. The care home she has been in for the last five months had made a bit of a fuss of the residents. They had all been given cards and presents, which was lovely....Mum doesn't open cards or pressies now...she just sits and is confused about what to do...but give her a bit of costume jewellery that sparkles and she is happy. She didn't know it was Mother's day, and asked if it was her birthday. Didn't help the confusion when the CD I had playing suddenly went to White Christmas lol! Had to explain it wasn't! We had a nice afternoon and looked at old photos and sat and chatted ( not all sense!) , but all of the time I was thinking What will next year be like? Will we be able to take her out? Will she know who we are (this ability comes and goes) Will she still be here (she is very thin now). it is so sad to watch your Mum decline this way.
So wherever you are on your journey I am sending you a virtual hug tonight and thank you to the T.P. member who added some perspective by reminding us that some lose their mothers far earlier in life and that too is tough to bear. xxxx
