Mothers Day

[Wendy C]

I went to see Mom yesterday with Peter my husband. She had had her hair cut and coloured last week and she was awake and very smiley. Peter said he had not seen her looking so good for ages. It was a lovely visit, but as the Care Manager said, its up and down and every day is different.
Still awaiting the arrival of my grandson. Think he is too comfy where he is at the moment.

 

[Pear trees]

I was not able to visit my mum as my OH was taken ill so I asked my SIL to send a card for me. SIL said mum knew it was mother's day but threw both my and her cards straight in the bin. She then kicked off that no one visited her or cared for her and she was being left to starve. SIL had brought her a lovely sunday lunch and had taken her out for tea the previous day. Mum moaned all the time while eating and never once said thank you.
I called my mum who asked why I never visited like my brother does - he hasn't seen or spoken to her in over 3 years!

 

[patsy56]

I bought mum a £1.00 teddy out of Poundworld it has a heart with "mum" on it, she loves it, she takes it to bed, and on Friday when I went to visit her, and we went for a drive, it had to come too. That made me sad, to think she has gone fron 80 to 8 in a couple of years,

 

[Izzy]

I bought mum a £1.00 teddy out of Poundworld it has a heart with "mum" on it, she loves it, she takes it to bed, and on Friday when I went to visit her, and we went for a drive, it had to come too. That made me sad, to think she has gone fron 80 to 8 in a couple of years,

Aw. It is sad but also lovely. Bill now has one of my teddies as his new pal. He goes by the name of Charles Teddlington!

 

[patsy56]

Aw. It is sad but also lovely. Bill now has one of my teddies as his new pal. He goes by the name of Charles Teddlington!

What a lovely name, mum keeps asking what to call her bear...........I will tell her that.

 

[Izzy]

What a lovely name, mum keeps asking what to call her bear...........I will tell her that.

For ages Bill has always responded with 'Charles' when I ask what something or someone's name is. The Teddlington bit came from him nearly saying 'teddy'. We add our surname to the end of it so that he's part of the family! When the carer asked him who it was the other morning he said 'its the bear'. I was chuffed that he knew it was a bear!

 

[patsy56]

For ages Bill has always responded with 'Charles' when I ask what something or someone's name is. The Teddlington bit came from him nearly saying 'teddy'. We add our surname to the end of it so that he's part of the family! When the carer asked him who it was the other morning he said 'its the bear'. I was chuffed that he knew it was a bear!

Kensington is in our family name.

 

[Witzend]

My sister phoned today, and said it had really hit her suddenly this Mother's Day, that she didn't have a mother any more. (She died last summer). I said it had hit me just the same. Not that cards or flowers had meant anything to her the past few years - she would barely seem to notice, let alone be pleased. We had really 'lost' her long before she died since she hadn't known any of us for quite some time.
But it did hit us both hard.

 

[Escapade213]

Mothers day has had a lasting effect

I found mothers day very difficult too. I hadn't seen my mum for too long - about 2 months I think and it shocked me how much the visit effected me afterwards. I feel alot of guilt that I can't do more for her because I dont drive and her care hone is about 25 miles away. I rely on my God Mother to take me who was a close friend of my mum's. Her decline is more pronounced every time I go and it scares me. I don't feel like she gets good enough nutrition and I dont feel the staff care for her with enough attention. Because she's repetitive and just wants to be in bed or have her dinner she is difficult to be around now. I regret not spending more time with her. I suppose it's not too late!

 

[Escapade213]

I took mum in a card and some presents, she doesnt understand cards or presents now so they were things she needed really, bubble baths, slippers and some nice hand cream. She enjoyed me massaging the cream into her left hand, not so much the right
opening the card for her and reading the words were more for my benefit than hers i guess. She doesnt focus on an object now - she didn't really 'see' the flowers i got her last year - she always used to love flowers.
It must be really tough on mothers day when you have lost your mum im sure, but also hard when you have lost who they used to be.
Likewise no sibling contact here!

I empathise with it being hard when your mum isn't who she used to be. I suppose we have to hope and hold on to the belief that they are in there somewhere.