Mam has Alzheimers

PAUL GAGIE

New member
Mar 18, 2024
7
0
Mam was diagnosed with Alzheimers 2 years ago after showing all the signs and symptoms - forgetfulness, confusion about everything, poor visual perception, unable to process information and misplacing things. She is on Donepezil which she takes once a day (before bedtime) and I have been discreetly trying to make our home dementia friendly and keep things in order (telling her what I'm doing is probably a no-no). It is very challenging and, at times frustrating (when I feel I'm wasting my time with telling her things) and stressful (answering the same question multiple times, trying to solve problems while mam hinders me with constant questions). Today she asked me if we had booked Blackpool again, but the last time we went she was confused with where she was, after we got there and after we got home, so for now I am sticking to day trips. I am also hoping I can keep her stimulated with colouring books, her keyboard and any other spur-of-the- moment days out. Unknown to her, my sister and I have to let people know that she has dementia as doing this in front of her would cause upset. Any advice about the way forward would be gratefully received. Thank You.
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
4,600
0
Newcastle
Hi @PAUL GAGIE and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your mam. Living with someone who has Alzheimer's Disease is hard but it seems that you are doing your best to ensure your mam is looked after and has the best life possible. This is a great place to come if you have questions, need to share with people who truly understand or to let off steam. I am sure that you'll feel the benefit of being a member.
 

PAUL GAGIE

New member
Mar 18, 2024
7
0
Hi @PAUL GAGIE and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your mam. Living with someone who has Alzheimer's Disease is hard but it seems that you are doing your best to ensure your mam is looked after and has the best life possible. This is a great place to come if you have questions, need to share with people who truly understand or to let off steam. I am sure that you'll feel the benefit of being a member.
Thank You northumbrian k. Do you think I'm doing the right thing regarding days out? During our last over-night stay, which was in Blackpool, she was confused as to where she was, flapped over her packing and went into the men's loo by mistake because she didn't notice the signs above the doorway. I know a holiday is supposed to be relaxing and stress-free but for me it wasn't.
 

backin

Registered User
Feb 6, 2024
176
0
If it upsets her, I'd think it best to stop them. Have you tried day centres, that might be a better visit for her. If she asks about going away, the hotel is booked, it's too hot... Whatever excuse works
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
4,600
0
Newcastle
My experience with my wife was that we went from holidays abroad to holidays in the UK then to days out. At each of these my question was whether she was enjoying them and whether I was. When they became too confusing and stressful (for us both) it was time to stop. One can put a lot of effort into trying to please the person one cares for only to find that it is not what they want. Keep on with the days out while you can and she still enjoys them. Don't rule out Blackpool (to her) but don't go if it doesn't feel right. You might need to be creative with the truth if she asks about Blackpool. Becoming practiced in the art of 'love lies' is an essential skill for carers.