My dad who has recently been diagnosed has just been told that he can no longer drive. As he is someone who has always been proud of his ability to get around independently he has taken this very badly. Because I was the one who persuaded him to have his initial assessment (he had been referred by his GP but didn't want to go) he has taken it upon himself to blame me for his predicament. To say the least he is not best pleased with me. I'm happy to help drive him around and arrange other help for him but of course, it's not the same thing. I live 20 miles from my dad but that's not even a factor as I'm happy to help. My brother lives just around the corner from my dad, literally, their gardens almost back onto each other but cares not so much and sees having to help my dad as a chore but that's another story. Essentially, I was wondering if anyone else had been in a similar situation and how did they deal with it ? Thanks in advance.
Lost driving licence - lost independence
- Thread starter Chr!s123
- Start date
Welcome to the forum and others will be along soon with better advice. This is a topic that comes up frequently, but to clarify, who has told him he can't drive?
As dementia progresses you will probably be blamed for most things so part of it is developing a thick skin
A diagnosis of dementia is not an automatic ban on driving. Do you think he is safe to drive still.
If he is not, then push the blame onto the doctor or another acceptable body. If that doesn't work , then the car is broken or at the garage, whatever love lie is needed that he will accept.
A diagnosis of dementia is not an automatic ban on driving. Do you think he is safe to drive still.
If he is not, then push the blame onto the doctor or another acceptable body. If that doesn't work , then the car is broken or at the garage, whatever love lie is needed that he will accept.
Hello
We asked the doctor to write in his report that he advised against driving. That took the 'blame' away from us and we would just say the doctor told you that Dad. We also felt he wasn't safe to drive either.
You can have an assessment on driving as a diagnosis doesn't automatically mean no more driving but I assume from your post that he has been advised not to drive by a professional?
But Robert, you have LBD and complete awareness of what's happening to you. Most dementia sufferers do not and many are in total denial that anything is wrong.
So those people would not be able to judge which days they were safe to drive. And dementia often has 'step changes'. The day before a person gets lost or completely misjudges a road situation they were probably like you - better than most on the roads, so annual testing is pretty meaningless.
And therein lies the problem.
Hello Robert Derek, I'm sorry that you are no longer allowed to drive and I completely understand how the loss of independence must feel. Before my partner was diagnosed with Alzheimer's / lewy body there were days I didn't feel safe with him. It was small misjudgments and no accidents but I was relieved when he was advised 'not to drive for the time being.' His dementia has progressed, he no longer can make a cup of tea,dress or make a sandwich. On a good day,he asked why I had parked in the middle of the road. I wasn't parked but stopped at traffic lights! Yet still he tells me ,on an increasingly rare good day, that he could still drive and doesn't know why he was stopped.
The point here is, that personally, I believe that people with a diagnosis of dementia are unable to self regulate and make the important decision about safe driving.
Driving in modern day traffic is stressful and and it only takes a momentary lapse for an accident. Yes, I know we can all make mistakes but we don't need dementia in the mix!
I'm sorry, that won't be what you want to hear but keeping you and everyone else safe must be a priority.
Best wishes.
I was stopped from driving by the neurologist and the DVLA when I was diagnosed, but I took exception to this as I considered it wrong that this should happen with no assessment. So I appealed.
This was a lengthy and fraught process, that took over a year during which the DVLA were less than helpful. But in the end they agreed to be having a driving assessment, which I passed.
I now have an anually renewable licence. I have friends with dementia who have decided for themselves they are no longer safe to drive, which is fair enough. But I don’t think medics are qualified to judge anyone’s driving ability, and taking a licence away is a big step. Everyone with a diagnosis should, I say, be offered a driving assessment if they want one.
This was a lengthy and fraught process, that took over a year during which the DVLA were less than helpful. But in the end they agreed to be having a driving assessment, which I passed.
I now have an anually renewable licence. I have friends with dementia who have decided for themselves they are no longer safe to drive, which is fair enough. But I don’t think medics are qualified to judge anyone’s driving ability, and taking a licence away is a big step. Everyone with a diagnosis should, I say, be offered a driving assessment if they want one.
As you say, everyone is an individual and dementia affects every person's abilities differently. There are different rates of deterioration too.
However, do you think a pilot should still be allowed to fly if diagnosed with dementia, even if they have passed an assessment? What about a school bus driver? Would you be happy for your children to travel on a school bus if the driver had been diagnosed with dementia? What if it was 11 months from their last assessment?
I completely agree. Drives me mad when a doctor says, 'Oh I think he/she is OK to continue driving at the moment.' How can someone seeing the person with dementia in their office have a clue about their driving abilities?
On the other hand, the assessors at the DVLA can say, 'You're fine to drive today,' but how can they possibly say, 'And you'll still be fine to drive in 6 months/a year.' They cannot predict the course of your dementia for the next 12 months!
My husband had his licence taken away from him in 2021 by the diagnosis team, I too got the blame occasionally . He was told he could take a driving assessment with DVLA, I suggest you let your Dad know this. I found when ever my hubby said he was going to retake his driving license instead of trying to persuade him not to I would just say ok. He has never tried, but if i went into why it had been taken away he would just keep on bringing it up and get angry. The bottom line is if your Dad did retake his license the likelihood is that he would fail, therefore not your decision. We now use public transport a lot, your Dad would be eligible for a free bus pass, where is his local bus stop? We also have senior rail cards which is 30% off, but our train station is only ten minute walk from our home. We also use a taxi more than we ever would have. Your Dad will probably save in the region of £2,000 a year by not driving and the eventual sale of the car would pay for lots of different types of transport. Probably not a good argument at the moment though. Have you thought of finding him a buddy if your brother is finding it a chore? Does your Dad attend any coffee groups or societies? try and fill his day and week. It takes a while to sort but worth while My husband walks every day with a new male friend then they have coffee afterwards It occupies one and half hours every morning from 9am Just a thought ,
I think all those with a diagnosis can apply to have their license restored. My partner would more than likely have passed a test as he would have tried hard to prove the point and he hadn't had any accidents. But...as I said there were increasing times that I did not feel safe with him and in the end I refused to go in the car unless I drove. The point was he didn't think his driving had these blips and couldn't understand why I was shouting at him!
When diagnosed I was relieved to lose my license by Consultant. I knew my driving was erratic and I couldn’t live with myself if I had caused injury. It helped that meant I had to stop working! I am odd because I saw the diagnosis as freedom; only came out with what I went in with, knew the worst, could do what/when/if I wanted.
Similar threads
