@Bevhar , I'm sorry you're feeling so low at the moment. I'm seventy in September and this life certainly isn't what I'd thought I'd have. Please see your Dr . You've had a a difficult few weeks and it's easy to let things get on top of you when you don't feel too good yourself..
Oh... A lot of us think our other halves would have made better carers but the reality is I don't think they would. They too would get tired ,impatient and at times resentful because the nature of caring wears us all out especially when it's 24/7.
And yes.. I do it because I know he would have tried to if it were the other way round! In fact he used to tell me so as my family has a lot of dementia in it and I feared I'd get it too. Still might but he's got off the caring !
Be kinder to yourself x