After a calmish weekend, I launched into arrangements yesterday. Left early for the place where mum will be buried, sorted most detail with the FDs, booked the flowers, booked the venue and visited the stonemason. Stone and kerbs will obviously need to be removed. When dad passed, mum was healthy and young--ish and for whatever reason we didn't think to leave space on the stone for mum's inscription. I have asked if they can somehow reuse the headstone bit. It seems they could grind the writing off, leave it matt, turn it around, and do a new inscription for both of them on the other side. But, apparently at some point it all becomes almost as expensive as buying a new stone and kerbs. So will have to see. I'd rather not pay thousands for that again, hopefully won't have to.
The FD has quoted a £100 estimate to put an obituary notice in the local paper. Really?! Probably not necessary, but thought it was fitting and maybe it will notify anyone who may have known mum.
Most of the equipment was collected today. I found it rather sad to see the wheelchair folded up on the van. That little wheelchair was a big part of our lives for the last year. Maybe I shouldn't have hurried the equipment collection, but what's the point of holding onto the stuff? It also means there's more room in the house, and I can start getting things back to normalish.
I have moments now where I get incredibly sad about the fact that I won't speak with mum again, or feel her warm touch. If I held out my arms to her while she was in bed, she would always hug me and give me a gentle kiss on the cheek. I'm so going to miss that. It really hurts that I will not have that physical contact with her again. The hugs and kisses should last me a lifetime, but the fact that they will happen no more twists at my insides now and again.
The rest of the week is fairly quiet, a friend popping in, but no other plans. I think I will take stock of paperwork and start focusing on numbers for the wake. I'm hoping for around 30/35. Some people who I have not yet been able to contact may or may not come. It's hard when you can't ask people to RSVP for a funeral - or can you?!
The FDs finally collect mum from the hospital tomorrow, so will have to check on progress. I await a call to say I can view her there, and I'll be up again. I have an offer of company for the first viewing at the FD, which I have gratefully accepted. It will be easier with someone else there.