Nearly four weeks down, and just over two to go to the funeral. In a way, time has passed quickly, but I really want the next two weeks to flash by, get the funeral done, and then that (big) part will be over. I feel so bad that mum is 'being left' for so long, but I am sure she would have been OK with me waiting for the right people and arrangements so that everything is how I want it to be. I still find evenings, and increasingly, night times hardest. I have put together a lovely photo board to put up at the wake. It gives a nice pictorial summary of mum's life. Some of the photos made me weep of course, but as I looked at it, it clearly showed what a good and happy life my mum had, so that is a big thing to hold in my head (and heart). I am still not one hundred per cent happy with the FDs, though I have had many assurances now. They have as yet not responded to my formal complaint, but I have been assured they will. Maybe they are waiting until the funeral is over (in case something else happens!). I have just read through their contract and they freely quote things like "professional manner" and "sensitive and dignified service". They also state that their code of practice requires that they provide "a high quality service in all aspects". None of this totally ties up with my experience so far. It seems there is another body (excuse the pun) I could take the complaint to, but I really hope it doesn't come to that. I wonder if this is the 'dementia demon' having one last go at me before this chapter is finally over. Sometimes it feels that way. Could have done without this. On a positive front, I'm able to go out, meet friends, pop to the supermarket when I want to and catch up on getting the house in order. I've even applied for a job. So there's plenty to keep me occupied … until there's another evening and night time to contend with. I am sure this is normal grief, and I hope in time I will feel better.