I can't quite believe it is almost a year since my mum died. I still feel guilty though I know I have nothing to really feel guilty about because I did many things to try to make her life more comfortable. I occasionally remember how awful she was before she had dementia - I'd had to put that to one side whilst she was alive or I would not have been able to help her. I feel very fortunate that she became quite placid and didn't fight all of the changes that were necessary. We know it would have been a completely different story if she had remained the feisty, stubborn woman of old. I often think and talk about her but I still miss dad so much more. Any grief I have for mum seems to take me back to dad's passing, which some of you know hit me really hard. I guess it's quite natural to feel like that but it makes me feel bad that I don't feel so strongly about her. Nearly all of my friends still have both parents alive and well and although I am glad they do, I can't help wishing mine were still here too!