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If you find that button, please post details! I am sure I would not be alone in wanting to try such a reset ....If you find that button, please post details! Not flippant all.
And at the moment, he is not showing any signs of reversing so I am enjoying it for as long as it lasts. He asked about five times today what the date was and because he is being so nice, it didn’t bother me a bit. It is much easier to be patient with him while he is in his present frame of mind.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the PET scan showed a little button I could press to keep him as he is?
Actually, I am not feeling too much on edge about it. I think I am resigned to the fact that it’s not going to stay this way and honestly, I feel the best I have felt for ages. I am refusing to be stressed and life is so much easier. I will take it for what it is and enjoy it.It does seem very strange, doesnt it?
I think we are all baffled. I guess its best not to try and look too far ahead and just enjoy what you have, although I realise that that is difficult when you are constantly on edge wondering when it will all change again.
My husband was just plain paranoid and it’s that aspect that has been the most dramatic change. I guess it will return one day but it was interesting to read your post about your husband being so helpful.So glad you’re having a good spell with your OH. Similarly my OH has turned from Alpha male to “boy like” - helping with chores (rarely experienced in 45 years of marriage!) and making sure I am “pleased“ with him. I think at some level they know that without us they would not be able to manage. I too am making the best of this phase and for me I can cope better with all the questions if he is doing small tasks to help me. I try and laugh each day about something with him bu t of course there are also days when I feel desperate and the hypersexuality is very challenging but that’s another story! May there be opportunity for you to say the important things to each other and family whilst this “window” is still open and get the legal stuff done if needed. Very best wishes.
I can honestly say that my husband was never an alpha male type. Before symptoms of dementia appeared, he was amiable and easy to get along with and had a quirky sense of humour. He was very stubborn as am I and we had to find our way through it. Three years prior to his diagnosis, that man started to disappear and at times, the paranoia was very difficult to cope with and was quite destructive.I have been reading this thread, this morning, nodding like one of those "nodding dogs" people had in their cars. My OH has always been the Alpha male in our marriage and has often been very difficult to live with. Quick tempered and sometimes very paranoid. Since he has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia/Alzheimers/Parkinsons, he has been completely different! His mobility and cognitive skills worsen by the day and I am more a carer than a wife, but, he has found an hilarious sense of humour , eventho his spee h is barely coherent. He giggles at the situations we find ourselves in and tries to cooperate as much as he is able. He has, occasional, flashbacks to his old confrontational self, telling me to F. Off and being unpleasant, and, I react as I used to by leaving the room and avoiding him for a couple of hours. When I return he looks confused and hurt and has no recollection of his outbirst. So when people say to me, O it must be so hard for you to look after him, I have to admit, that sometimes, it is much easier and we actually laugh more than we ever did. I wonder if the sweet personality, he now presents, is the real him that was buried derp inside for all those years.
Yes I do feel confused, partly because I didn’t think that one PET scan could negate seven years of my husband’s history and the in depth testing done at the memory clinic.Im glad that the consultant isnt going to change anything.
You must feel so confused.
I had OHs consultant saying exactly the same to me - and OH was only in his early 60s.The consultant talked around issues such as he been going downhill so slowly and stable and then the one that really ran up flags for me that much of what he was seeing could be aging. Episodes of raging paranoia, total obsession about a game, loss of memory of thirty years of his life - none of it adds up to simple aging.
I think it is a whole lot tougher for you than me though. This isn’t going to change our lives at all and our financial benefits will continue as will the little bit of care we get.I had OHs consultant saying exactly the same to me - and OH was only in his early 60s.
He too was saying that OH was deteriorating so slowly and everything seemed stable, (plus the scans were normal) so it couldnt be dementia.
OH has no memory of his early life either. His obsession is his android tablet - he spends all day sitting on the sofa scrolling through it. He is losing ability to do tasks right left and centre, but he can still work his tablet. When he dropped it and it broke, I thought the end of the world had arrived! He too got episodes of raging anger and accusations, although these have now mostly passed, which is bittersweet because it has left a sort of emptiness.
Undiagnosed is tough
Thank you.I understand your confusion and frustration, but I have no advice or wise words for you. Im just glad that your GP will listen to you.