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It’s all so strange

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,827
0
Victoria, Australia
Update!!!

OH‘s general health is continuing to fail but we still have not had a cross word for months. He likes to grab a wine and talk before we go to bed and so now I am having a few late nights. We talk about all sorts of things and I take to opportunity to pry into what he recalls of his childhood and his parents.

It has been a very interesting experience, as He really doesn’t remember much about growing up and even getting him to talk of his dad didn’t tell me much. It seems so odd because I have vivid memories of my life as a little child. My mother died when I was four, so being the youngest of 5, I just tagged along with my older siblings and joined in with whatever they were up to, and looking back we had freedom like you wouldn‘t believe.

The really odd thing is this newly acquired need for communication Is an opportunity for us to get to know each other again.

These late night chats are developing into something he seems to need and I have to admit that it has helped us find a connection again.
 

I thank you for the years

Registered User
Oct 5, 2021
27
0
Hi @Lawson58

I am glad that you and your OH are enjoying each other’s company - and a glass of wine! 🍷

I recall you mentioning in previous posts that your OH was a keen bridge player and was wondering whether he was still playing - or whether perhaps giving up bridge had helped contribute to his improved mood?

Both my PWD and I are bridge players - hence my interest in whether your OH is still playing.

Best wishes!
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,827
0
Victoria, Australia
Hi @Lawson58

I am glad that you and your OH are enjoying each other’s company - and a glass of wine! 🍷

I recall you mentioning in previous posts that your OH was a keen bridge player and was wondering whether he was still playing - or whether perhaps giving up bridge had helped contribute to his improved mood?

Both my PWD and I are bridge players - hence my interest in whether your OH is still playing.

Best wishes!

YES! My husband is still playing bridge, most of it online but occasionally he goes to the club. He plays most days and I think it is the thing that has kept him going. COVID has changed things a lot as there have been no new members and most of the others are getting old, are I’ll or have died.

He sometimes plays with people online who he has never met and come from all over the place.

I still have no idea of what caused the change but happily we have not had one disagreement since. I wish I knew because I would bottle it and make a fortune!

Do you think having an interest like bridge helps your PWD and the fact that you both play makes life a bit easier for both of you? Bridge players seem to me to be quite addicted and I have to think that having such an interest in something is a benefit.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,287
0
It is so good to hear that your husband still has his nice personality (wherever it came from) Long may it continue.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,827
0
Victoria, Australia
It is so good to hear that your husband still has his nice personality (wherever it came from) Long may it continue.
Thank you. It certainly has been a remarkable change from the years we had before. Unfortunately, his physical health is going downhill so some of the old challenges are still there but so much easier to cope with.
 

I thank you for the years

Registered User
Oct 5, 2021
27
0
YES! My husband is still playing bridge, most of it online but occasionally he goes to the club. He plays most days and I think it is the thing that has kept him going. COVID has changed things a lot as there have been no new members and most of the others are getting old, are I’ll or have died.

He sometimes plays with people online who he has never met and come from all over the place.

I still have no idea of what caused the change but happily we have not had one disagreement since. I wish I knew because I would bottle it and make a fortune!

Do you think having an interest like bridge helps your PWD and the fact that you both play makes life a bit easier for both of you? Bridge players seem to me to be quite addicted and I have to think that having such an interest in something is a benefit.
We definitely both enjoy playing together when we are able to. I think any hobby that people with dementia are able to continue with can only be a good thing.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,827
0
Victoria, Australia
We celebrated our wedding anniversary during the week and for the first time EVER my husband bought me flowers, red roses at that. We went out for a lovely meal and a bottle of wine, kindly chauffeured my granddaughter.

We haven’t even acknowledged our anniversary for several years but he was most insistent that this was going to be different.

We are still cruising along nicely and as yet have not had an argument.

He is still deteriorating slowly, got confused at the doctor’s surgery this morning and gets muddled with what’s on today. His heart is getting worse but certainly, life is much better.
 

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jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,735
0
Southampton
We celebrated our wedding anniversary during the week and for the first time EVER my husband bought me flowers, red roses at that. We went out for a lovely meal and a bottle of wine, kindly chauffeured my granddaughter.

We haven’t even acknowledged our anniversary for several years but he was most insistent that this was going to be different.

We are still cruising along nicely and as yet have not had an argument.

He is still deteriorating slowly, got confused at the doctor’s surgery this morning and gets muddled with what’s on today. His heart is getting worse but certainly, life is much better.
they are lovely and happy anniversary. i bet its nice to have him back
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,287
0
Oh wow, what a turnaround for you and hopefully this has become the new normal now. Glad your anniversary was a good celebration for you both and what a lovely granddaughter.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
3,198
0
High Peak
We celebrated our wedding anniversary during the week and for the first time EVER my husband bought me flowers, red roses at that. We went out for a lovely meal and a bottle of wine, kindly chauffeured my granddaughter.

We haven’t even acknowledged our anniversary for several years but he was most insistent that this was going to be different.

We are still cruising along nicely and as yet have not had an argument.

He is still deteriorating slowly, got confused at the doctor’s surgery this morning and gets muddled with what’s on today. His heart is getting worse but certainly, life is much better.
Beautiful roses - I can see your cat really appreciates them...

My theory re. your husband is that dementia has destroyed the part of his brain that deals with being annoying. Usually that's the last to go... Long may it continue :)
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,827
0
Victoria, Australia
What a wonderful theory @Jaded'n'faded ! I'm so glad @Lawson58 that you now have a lovely caring husband, but, does that mean you won't be getting any more lovely colourful boots?
Not at all, though I really have more than I need. But we are coming into winter in the Southern Hemisphere so I am looking forward to be able to wearing them again.

But I have switched to bargain hunting on auction sites and regularly scroll through a favourite pawnbrokers website. Once in a while, I will find something that really is a good buy and it is fun but I never spend a lot.

Such a good excuse to keep the brain active!
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,827
0
Victoria, Australia
Oh wow, what a turnaround for you and hopefully this has become the new normal now. Glad your anniversary was a good celebration for you both and what a lovely granddaughter.
My granddaughter has just bought a house just down the road from us and that is lovely news. She is very hard working and knows how to save her money. And a very genuine girl.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,827
0
Victoria, Australia
Beautiful roses - I can see your cat really appreciates them...

My theory re. your husband is that dementia has destroyed the part of his brain that deals with being annoying. Usually that's the last to go... Long may it continue :)
My husband has heart failure and is struggling with low blood oxygen levels, which apparently can befuddle the brain a bit. His blood pressure was only. 90/60 on Friday so he is not too well.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,827
0
Victoria, Australia
Life continues to be peaceful and we have yet to have an argument since the brain flip a few months ago.

But I have just been watching a program about how there can be long term effects following open heart surgery. I have been googling what was said and am not much wiser because much of the stuff was very technical but it has provided some food for thought.

The program was a discussion about the long term effects of open heart surgery on personality changes (anxiety, depression, mood swings etc) and other neuropsychological impacts including cognition and increased risk of dementia.

So I got to thinking about OH’s time line of his heart condition/dementia.

2003. Madeira, Heart problem and recommended that he return to UK for treatment. Cannot recall details of what he was told.

2004. UK. Valve repair involving 6 and a half hours open heart surgery. Heart attack while in ICU and another 2 hours surgery to stop bleeding same night. Further surgery 6 weeks later.

2005 - 2007 We live in the Caribbean where he was told by cardiologist that the valve was still not functioning well and might need replacing.

2010 Living in Australia starting to show signs of paranoia and cognitive decline.

2013 Referred to geriatrician and testing starts.

2013. Cardiac arrest December.

2014. July Alzheimer’s diagnosis

2021 Continuing physical and mental decline. Meltdown and change again personality and behaviour.

From what I understand from the discussion is that open heart surgery is very traumatic to the body effecting many neuropsychological and masses of other things that I can’t begin to understand.
There are theories that during open heart surgery, minute fragments of matter might find their way to the brain and impact minutely on the way the brain functions.

I am going to continue to find out what I can but certainly something like this might explain OH’s dissimilarity to other people diagnosed with AD. And if it is more like a mental illness rather than a disease, it could offer some idea of why he could have changed.

I know I will never know the answer but it’s nice to know that is a slightly plausible answer to why he was different.