1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,721
    Male
    Bristol
    Evening Jenny,

    Sorry to hear about your mum falling again. Hope the blood pressure tablets adjustment will help, it's so stressful when the doctors can only rely on trial and error.
    I don't know how you manage to work and look after your mum at the same time, some days my energy is low too and I don't have a job. Do you have the option of early retirement?
     
  2. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Hi Rob,

    I work to keep me sane! I am officially 'early' retired. I work 2 days one week and 4 the second. I am starting to wonder how long I can keep working. I work on the tills at a local garden centre (after a career in IT) I love it but more & more time is taken up with mum.
     
  3. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,721
    Male
    Bristol
    I see your dilemma Jenny. Can you give up work and take up a hobby to give yourself some sanity time? Sorry, wish I could give you some decent advice.
    You shouldn't put yourself down, sounds like things are pretty bad at the moment.
     
  4. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,721
    Male
    Bristol
    Well that was an interesting morning. Sadly C didn't get to her club, as the agency carer put in the shower with cold water before she was properly awake. Her whole rushed approach and unfriendliness put C off for the rest of the day. I did complain and got an apology from the manager, but too late.
    I did make it out for a walk with the ramblers, so legs are sore, but thankfully C was happy enough when I got back.

    How is everyone? Not seen Lou for a week or two, hope all is well.
     
  5. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Hi all,sorry I've not been about to see how you all are
    I'm sorry to read that your mum had another fall and a disastrous trip to the options
    Rob...how awful of the carer to give c a cold shower no wonder it upset her for the day....glad that you complained and that you still managed to get out for a walk
    I've been having a bit of a bad week.....Wednesday I had to go for a camera examination of my bowel after my gp made an urgent appointment.... can't say it was a pleasant experience !!! and fasting for two days before....yesterday oh was sent to the hospital with a suspected blood clot in his leg....trying to have a restful day today
    Lou...I hope that all is OK with you and your mum xx
    Sorry again for not being around much this week....take care all xxxx
     
  6. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    I really don't want to give up my job. I love it and my boss (& good friend) understands dementia. I am just so tired. Mum is nowhere as bad as many of your PWD. I feel bad that I am am struggling a bit. Keeping mum in her own home is important to me so I spend a lot of time organising things to make life easier for her.
     
  7. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,721
    Male
    Bristol
    I noticed somewhere you had another thread about holidays, Jenny. Hope you can arrange time to yourself and with your husband, sounds like you both need it. It's nice you have an understanding boss though, that's half the battle.
     
  8. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,721
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry Gill, did read your post the other day but been a bit stressed with dentist yesterday. Cameras going where cameras were never designed for is very unpleasant. :eek: Did they give you any results, or still waiting? How is your OH after his clot? Hope you are both well after a bit of a scare and got a good rest yesterday.
     
  9. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    We do, Rob but we can't see anyway we can do it! The most we have managed, in the last four years, is a couple of two nights away. Mum doesn't handle absence well. She has a carer in the morning, for an hour. The carer always has a cuppa and a chat but, by teatime, mum is sure she hasn't seen anyone all day. She lives for my evening visits. X
     
  10. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    This probably sounds frivolous but one of my cats is missing. For me, it's the final straw. I nursed my dad through esophageal cancer until his death. Am now looking after mum with alzheimer's.
    I love my cats so much. We back onto a railway line. My cats are incredibly timid. Max hasn't been seen since breakfast yesterday. So worried. Only a year old
     
  11. Moggymad

    Moggymad Registered User

    May 12, 2017
    337
    Female
    As you can see from my name I am a cat lover & hope with all my heart that he returns home soon. Hopefully he has found something of interest to keep him away. It's so unfair that you now have this worry too. Fingers crossed x
     
  12. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,721
    Male
    Bristol
    You have been through a lot Jenny. This is another worry you don't need, hope your cat turns up very soon.
     
  13. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Oh no Jenny , I hope you find Max safe and well . Please let us know , I'm keeping everything crossed he turns up . Lou xxx
     
  14. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Hi Gill , how are you and how is your husband? You have certainly not a good time with your health of recent . Hope you have had good result from your scope and that your health is improving . Is OH in hospital ? Please let me know how you are , sending you a big hug, my dear friend ({}) . Lou xxx
     
  15. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Hi Rob , sorry I haven't been in touch . Hope you and C have had a good week so far . I'm so sorry to read of the appalling treatment C had to endure . People are so unkind . I hope C doesn't have to ever experience anyone so uncaring again . Hope she manages to go to the club this Thursday and you get a well earned wee break to enjoy . Things are ok with my mum and I , she's certainly slowing down but we still manage to get out and about, so she's quite happy and that's all that matters . Take care Rob . Lou
     
  16. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,721
    Male
    Bristol
    Nice to hear from you Lou, and that your mum is still enjoying her days out. :) Do you have the hot weather up there, or something more tolerable for your trips?


    Evening Gill. Not heard from you since your and your hubby's hospital trips. How are you both? Hope all is well.

    Jenny, how are you? Hope the cat has returned.

    A fairly quiet day here, been out for salad to pizza chain followed by yoga. Not making any predictions for tomorrow, see how C is in the morning.

    Sleep well everyone, best wishes. R :)
     
  17. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Hi all....sorry for the delay....been feeling a bit run down... been running to the loo for about twelve weeks now...think it is finally wearing me out !!! no results back yet...no news is good news so they say , I have now had my appointment for the spinal surgery clinic ...its next month....oh is OK but doctor has ordered yet another blood test....this will be three this week....there seems to be a problem with his kidney function... the good news is that it was not a blood clot but fluid on his leg....also his blood pressure is very high...ironically one of bp meds is making him dehydrated.... Its all a bit confusing ...but he is at home and thankfully not in hospital
    Lou....its lovely to hear from you....are you doing OK my dear friend.... and how is your wee mum ?....look after yourself.. If you want a chat pm me xxx
    Rob...how are you and c doing ? will c be going to day care tomorrow... If so I hope you have something good planned let us know please about your me time tomorrow xxx
    Well goodnight all ...take care
    PS....sorry jenny I forgot to say I hope that your cat comes home to you safe and well soon xx I know how you must be feeling xx
     
  18. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,721
    Male
    Bristol
    Evening Gill, I now that feeling with the bladder problems. It does leave you a bit drained if it ruins your sleep. You may not have the same problem I have, but cutting caffeine and citrus seems to help as does drinking more diluted fruit juice slowly. Good luck with the spinal clinic, remind us nearer the time and I will definitely wish you well. Hope OH's doctor sorts out his bp tablets and blood tests. That always seems to be trial and error doesn't it. :eek:

    C did make it to her club today and came out singing happily which is good sign. We just have to hope the lovely lady from care and support comes more often to dress her on a Thursday. She is sleeping now, and will be all night most likely. I managed a long walk with the ramblers group again. Too many steep hills for my dodgy knees, but it's about time I got fitter. :cool:

    All the best, R

    No word on Jenny's cat yet. Hope he turns up.
     
  19. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Hi everyone

    I feel really bad not keeping up with eveyone.

    Mum is gradually declining

    My beautiful 15 month old cat hasn't come home. We think he made his way to the railway.

    I'm not coping well. Life has been tough for the last seven years.

    My younger daughter had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, six weeks before dad died. A few months after dad died, mum started to behave a bit oddly and (after a struggle) she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We muddled along for a while.
    Then got carers & meals on wheels. We haven't had a break for over four years.
    Last April our beautiful cat died (21!) We adopted two kittens last August. They are timid and only happy with us. Our Max hasn't been seen since the morning of the 16th.
    I am struggling a bit. All my grief about dad and now mum seems to be concentrated on my beautiful boy
    I miss him so much
    So sad
     
  20. Moggymad

    Moggymad Registered User

    May 12, 2017
    337
    Female
    Hi really am sorry your cat hasn't come home yet. Have you tried contacting the rail operator to ask if they have seen anything? Is the area a place you can checkout yourself? A lot of missing cats get listed on Doglost.co.uk any missing pet can be listed. It might be worth a try & you will get support & advice from them. I wish you strength to get through this.
     

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