1. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,803
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry Jenny, don't know what to say to help. It does all seem to have piled up and your mum's dementia robbed you of the support you needed after losing your dad I think.

    Forgive if I have mentioned this before or you tried it, but my massage therapist provided a great relaxed place to offload. She then suggested counselling to deal with anything deeper, and that has helped. Would either of those be worth considering?

    We are all here if you need us, but don't worry if you can't post.
     
  2. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Oh Jenny , my heart goes out to you . Sometimes life throws us more than our fair share of bad luck . Please know that I am thinking of you and hoping that rainbow of hope sn't so far away , because you certainly deserve it my friend . Lou xxx
     
  3. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Thanks Rob. I don't want to add to you lovely people's burdens. Mum isn't too bad but I have had one after another thing for the last few years. Good things have happened (my lovely grandchildren)
    I am looking into counselling.
    Thank you so much for asking when C is your focus xxx
     
  4. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Thanks Lou,
    I miss my beautiful boy so much. Many tears for him. Daisy seems OK. Just needs a lot of love. I just wonder what I have done to deserve all this. I must've been awful in a previous life!
     
  5. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Hi all!
    No sign of my precious boy. Still desperately sad but coping.
    Hope you are all ok.
    Sorry I haven't been keeping up with our thread. I may not be posting but I think of you all, often xxx
     
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,803
    Male
    Bristol
    Evening Jenny, sorry your wee boy has not turned up. Hope he turns up somewhere.
    Not been keeping up myself, but we are doing ok thanks. C made it to her club this week and I met a few of the other people's carers at a coffee morning before heading off for a hike round the suburban nature reserves.
    Gill and Lou, how are you and your families doing?
     
  7. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Hi Jenny , I'm so sorry you still haven't got your precious boy back :-( Hope you and your family are doing as well as you all can . How's your lovely granddaughter getting on ? Everything ok with my mum and I , enjoyed a wee trip to Ayr today . Her day centre were going to the coast today but they had previously said my mum was finding it difficult with journeys if she needed the toilet , so I said she wouldn't go . I didn't want to argue with them that I take my mum out most weekends with no issues, as I think the fact she now uses a wheelchair was now more of the issue as there might not be enough staff to help . Funny enough , on the way back we passed their minibus and gave them a wave . My niece joined us and we went for a lovely afternoon tea. Take care Jenny , keep your chin up my friend . Lou xxx
     
  8. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Evening Rob , I'm so pleased C has been managing to get to her Thursday club . It gives you a chance to have some ' me time' , which I'm sure is most welcome. Joining a carers group is an excellent way of connecting with like minded people . I was offered a chance to go but unfortunately they are on during the day when I'm working . You haven't posted any of your fabulous photos for a while. Have you and C managed to get out much lately for a wee trip somewhere ? Don't know what the weather is like in your neck of the woods but summer doesn't last a season here in Scotland , it only manages a few days worth ;-). Hope you and C have a good weekend . Lou
     
  9. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,803
    Male
    Bristol
    Nice to hear from you Lou, your trip to Ayr with your mum and your niece sounds good. A pity your mum's centre couldn't give her some extra trips out in the short Scottish summers. Sorry you are missing the carers groups, I seem to be involved in about 3 different ones now and don't know how I survived without them.

    I seem to have spent most of the sunny days this summer in the garden with our neighbours, where last year I would have taken my camera round the woods via a pub. Maybe in the autumn I'll get out again and take some more pics.

    Hope you can get out a bit more in August and your mum is ok despite the need for a wheelchair now. All the best, R
     
  10. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,803
    Male
    Bristol
    Morning Gill, not seen you posting for a while. Hope you and your hubby are ok and the doctor has sorted out his tablets and dehydration. Don't worry about a long reply if you are still tired and not sleeping, just saying hello. All the best, R
     
  11. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Hi all,
    Glad to hear you are, mostly, ok!
    My beautiful boy hasn't come home. I really think my grief for my lovely parents is coming out in my grief for Max. Still ridiculously watery!
    We are dreadfully tired. In real need of a break (no holiday for 5 years) How do you lovely people cope? Mum is still living independently (with a lot of support from us) I'm feeling bad about saying we're tired when lots of you lovely people cope 24/7. It's just us looking after mum. We can put care into place but we would worry if we went away
    Much love to you all, my dear friends xxx
     
  12. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,803
    Male
    Bristol
    Evening Jenny, sorry your wee cat has not come back. It's always one thing too many isn't it. I'll send you a wee hug, you need it.
    Christel still missing her mum. I put a photo of her on the wall as a reassuring reminder, but wonder if it just reinforces what she misses.
    Best wishes everyone. Rob
     
  13. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Thanks Rob! The hug is very much appreciated xxx
    I really think the photo is a great idea. Christel will be able to see her mum. I really don't think it will reinforce feelings of loss. Just comfort xxx
     
  14. doodle1

    doodle1 Registered User

    May 11, 2012
    241
    Hi Jenny
    Can understand your sadness about the cat. My beautiful dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer around the time my parents care situation exploded exponentially and I can remember my kind GP saying sometimes the loss of an animal triggers all sorts of hidden grief .so big hugs
    I know we' ve chatted about your need for a holiday before but maybe look at it like this...you worry all the time now,.....you will still worry if you go away on holiday but at least you will have had a holiday and a change of scenery even if you don't stop worrying. I sometimes look at worry like permanent toothache ,it never goes away but doing something different distracts for a moment.
    Jane xx
     
  15. Heres a hug and a simple joke that might crack a smile.:)

    What did the one Math Book say to the other Math Book?

    I HAVE PROBLEMS
     
  16. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,803
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP Ken. Not sure about your terrible jokes, but you have to stay same somehow in this dementia world. :)
     
  17. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Thanks Jane! I do think it has been a trigger. I am not usually someone who cries, at the drop of a hat, but since my boy went missing, that is exactly what I am!
    Good point too about worrying with a change of scenery! The most we have managed for the last five years is a few two night breaks!
    I will seriously look into what I can put into place to make sure mum is safe (if disgruntled!) & investigate breaks that are close enough to get back, if there is a real emergency (we live on the south coast so am thinking Isle of Wight)
    Jenny xxx
     
  18. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Chuckle! If the hug was for me, thank you!
    I love bad jokes!
    What's the difference between a buffalo & a bison?
    You can't wash your hands in a buffalo!
    (Sorry, everybody!)
     
  19. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Thanks, Lou.

    Ruby is four months old now and she recognises her grandma! My grandchildren are a joy!
    Glad things are ok with your wee ma. It's a shame the day centre can't cope with her and the wheelchair. It's good you can still get out and about and it's lovely that your neice can join you.
    Keeping my chin up! You do the same!!

    Jenny xxx
     
  20. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,803
    Male
    Bristol
    I may as well join in the terrible jokes. :D

    I got arrested in a cafe last December for eating a slice of traditional German Christmas cake. I was charged with handling Stollen goods.

    How is everyone, still not seen Gill for about 3 weeks now. Hope you are well.
    Jenny, I hope you get some time away, a weekend on the Isle of Wight may be just what the doctor ordered.
     

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