Hi everyone, I'm new on here and my wife has been recently diagnosed with mild to moderate Alzheimer's. Today she took her first 5mg of medication and at this point her memory is very forgetful but still she is able to function and socialise without too much problem. I have seen changes over last couple of years in her personality in that she has become less vibrant and more anxious. I know this will get much worse over the next 18 months, but as a guide is there a pattern to this or does each individual start to decline at different times? Also, although she is aware she has this memory problem, we never really call it Dementia or Alzheimer's. Her neurologist did explain what it was, but I think she prefers not to call it by name. Is this a normal reaction? Thank you.
I'm new to forum and will be carer for wife.....
- Thread starter Woody500
- Start date
I never referred to the word Dementia with either my Mum or my Dad, neither liked it. I still have Dad with me and he prefers to say as you get older things get a little slower in the mind department, I just leave it at that.
I don't think anybody can second guess the rate of decline, my Mum and Dads diseases took very different paths.
Mum was very funny till the end, albeit with a very dirty sense of humour she never had prior to her illness, Dad tends to get angry. Don't think there is a definitive answer really.
I don't think anybody can second guess the rate of decline, my Mum and Dads diseases took very different paths.
Mum was very funny till the end, albeit with a very dirty sense of humour she never had prior to her illness, Dad tends to get angry. Don't think there is a definitive answer really.
Hiya Woody and welcome to talking point.
Sorry that you have had to find us but you will get a lot of support here as you go along. In my experience a diagnosis is just that - a label - and it is necessary in order to access things like medication and support. Beyond that, on an every day basis, there is no need to refer to the diagnosis - you are doing what couples do - living their lives to the best of their abilities. Even for someone who doesn't have the disease, the D word takes you into a huge range of illnesses and within each of those there are potential areas that can develop or not develop as the case may be. It is way too much to take in and at the end of the day 90% of it will probably never apply to your wife!
I know it might sound like a cliche but taking one day at a time is the best way to go. As you have probably realised already, no two people have the same path. How your wife's dementia proceeds will depend on the areas of the brain that become damaged over time and what functions those areas are responsible for. As to timing, the purpose of the medication is to slow down the progress of the disease and it is a strange thing to understand because you don't really know directly what effect the medication is having as the only real way to test it would be to stop taking it and then see how fast things got worse. The best approach overall is to help your wife circumvent the challenges that she has right now. That might be as simple as helping her and supporting her so she feels less anxious perhaps when around other people. On the other hand it might be you thinking of ways to stop things being lost. Whatever it is, the challenge is to come up with innovative ways of dealing with things. More than anything else in the world though is for you both to get out there and do the things you want to do. Spend time together. Find the simple things that bring the most enjoyment. Let the medical folks take care of that side of the house. You take care of spending quality time together.
You might find this thread interesting as it gives some useful advice as to how we can make little tweaks to how we communicate with someone who has memory problems. It also gives an insight from the other person's perspective as well which is very useful. http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...ionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired.
If you have any questions then don't be afraid to ask and also jump in on the other threads and share your experiences because they might help others too.
Fiona
Sorry that you have had to find us but you will get a lot of support here as you go along. In my experience a diagnosis is just that - a label - and it is necessary in order to access things like medication and support. Beyond that, on an every day basis, there is no need to refer to the diagnosis - you are doing what couples do - living their lives to the best of their abilities. Even for someone who doesn't have the disease, the D word takes you into a huge range of illnesses and within each of those there are potential areas that can develop or not develop as the case may be. It is way too much to take in and at the end of the day 90% of it will probably never apply to your wife!
I know it might sound like a cliche but taking one day at a time is the best way to go. As you have probably realised already, no two people have the same path. How your wife's dementia proceeds will depend on the areas of the brain that become damaged over time and what functions those areas are responsible for. As to timing, the purpose of the medication is to slow down the progress of the disease and it is a strange thing to understand because you don't really know directly what effect the medication is having as the only real way to test it would be to stop taking it and then see how fast things got worse. The best approach overall is to help your wife circumvent the challenges that she has right now. That might be as simple as helping her and supporting her so she feels less anxious perhaps when around other people. On the other hand it might be you thinking of ways to stop things being lost. Whatever it is, the challenge is to come up with innovative ways of dealing with things. More than anything else in the world though is for you both to get out there and do the things you want to do. Spend time together. Find the simple things that bring the most enjoyment. Let the medical folks take care of that side of the house. You take care of spending quality time together.
You might find this thread interesting as it gives some useful advice as to how we can make little tweaks to how we communicate with someone who has memory problems. It also gives an insight from the other person's perspective as well which is very useful. http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...ionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired.
If you have any questions then don't be afraid to ask and also jump in on the other threads and share your experiences because they might help others too.
Fiona
Thank you and I thought as much. Sometimes as it's all so new I need to say it out loud and doing that has helped with your response.
I know this will get much worse over the next 18 months, but as a guide is there a pattern to this or does each individual start to decline at different times? QUOTE]
Why are you expecting it to "get much worse over the next 18 months" on Aricept and Citlopram I don't think my wife has changed much over the last 4 years. My strategy has, as she is and always has been in denial to ignore it. Yes we do the appointments for all they're worth and she takes her medication but other than that we never use the "D" word or the "AH" word either, I positively resist her being turned into a "Patient" by the no doubt well meaning NHS staff.
Just ignore it, it won't go away but you can get sucked into a cycle of well meaning patient mentality (if that's the right word).
There is no chart or graph you can follow, everyone is different, you might get lucky like me, my wife's meds work fine and 4 years down the line it's all still good, OK she's not the person she was so I just have to fill in the missing bits, to date the worse one is doing the ironing, such is life
K
Hello Woody, you are very welcome to join us all on Talking Point,
As others have said, there are many ways for dementia/Alzheimer's to manifest itself.
But the important thing is that this Forum has members who have seen, and coped with, almost everything - problem or joy - that might, or might not, crop up in the future.
TP's value as a resource of knowledge, ( and yes) friendship is, I believe, unique.
You are so right when you say that there are times when it helps to write it all down; and there will be other times, when you have a tip or a suggestion that might be of use to someone else.
We are all comforted by the knowledge that there is always someone here who understands whatever another member is on about.
Others before me have given the best advice - Enjoy,'One day at a time'.
There is no reason to be anxious that your life is going to change rapidly; for many months or even years, life can go on much as before, with perhaps the occasional memory failure, or small, 'oddity' of behaviour to keep you on your toes.
For my husband, it was talking in his sleep and forgetting old friends' names; a small problem, and easy to cover up with a whispered reminder as the friend approaches.
No way did any minor slips stop us having a great time in those early years.
You should really be able to live your life much as you have always lived it for some while to come.
And don't forget, there will always be someone here to listen, if you feel the need to clarify your mind about what needs to be done next.
Hugs,
Eleonora
As others have said, there are many ways for dementia/Alzheimer's to manifest itself.
But the important thing is that this Forum has members who have seen, and coped with, almost everything - problem or joy - that might, or might not, crop up in the future.
TP's value as a resource of knowledge, ( and yes) friendship is, I believe, unique.
You are so right when you say that there are times when it helps to write it all down; and there will be other times, when you have a tip or a suggestion that might be of use to someone else.
We are all comforted by the knowledge that there is always someone here who understands whatever another member is on about.
Others before me have given the best advice - Enjoy,'One day at a time'.
There is no reason to be anxious that your life is going to change rapidly; for many months or even years, life can go on much as before, with perhaps the occasional memory failure, or small, 'oddity' of behaviour to keep you on your toes.
For my husband, it was talking in his sleep and forgetting old friends' names; a small problem, and easy to cover up with a whispered reminder as the friend approaches.
No way did any minor slips stop us having a great time in those early years.
You should really be able to live your life much as you have always lived it for some while to come.
And don't forget, there will always be someone here to listen, if you feel the need to clarify your mind about what needs to be done next.
Hugs,
Eleonora
Thanks K. That helped a lot and I guess my initial reaction has been to see the worst possible outcome within my own head, but my experience in general life has taught me that fear of the unknown is usually not as frightening as the reality. It's fantastic to know your wife has had little change over such a long period of time. I realise this is not the same for every patient but it certainly has made me think of things a little brighter than I have been. Cheers WoodyI know this will get much worse over the next 18 months, but as a guide is there a pattern to this or does each individual start to decline at different times? QUOTE]
Why are you expecting it to "get much worse over the next 18 months" on Aricept and Citlopram I don't think my wife has changed much over the last 4 years. My strategy has, as she is and always has been in denial to ignore it. Yes we do the appointments for all they're worth and she takes her medication but other than that we never use the "D" word or the "AH" word either, I positively resist her being turned into a "Patient" by the no doubt well meaning NHS staff.
Just ignore it, it won't go away but you can get sucked into a cycle of well meaning patient mentality (if that's the right word).
There is no chart or graph you can follow, everyone is different, you might get lucky like me, my wife's meds work fine and 4 years down the line it's all still good, OK she's not the person she was so I just have to fill in the missing bits, to date the worse one is doing the ironing, such is life
K
Hi Eleonora, thanks again. I will definitely stay in touch on here and ask questions to those of you that have already experienced these things. Your kind words are appreciated. W
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