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I don't want to live any more..

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,074
Devon
I can't add to what others have said but thinking of you and sending love to you both.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
Oh thankyou, everyone, for your kind words and understanding. One thing we seem to gain from all this is extra empathy, and its so comforting to have those hugs!

A new day's beginning, and I hope the despair of yesterday will be forgotten. Perhaps that's the good thing, the forgetfulness. I shall try to surround him with good cheer.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Feeling your sadness with you Rageddy Anne - my poor love didn't say he wanted to die but only that he wouldn't be here much longer. Sadly one day he was right. Hope today is more positive for both of you - what else can we do but hold on tight and pray for better one day. Loving thoughts WIFE
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Feeling your sadness with you Rageddy Anne - my poor love didn't say he wanted to die but only that he wouldn't be here much longer. Sadly one day he was right. Hope today is more positive for both of you - what else can we do but hold on tight and pray for better one day. Loving thoughts WIFE
I'm so sorry Anne. It must cut you to the quick to hear those words. Totally heartbreaking.

Di-Pete said to me Dec 2013 'I won't be with you for much longer' when he was last sectioned. One of the last things he said to me that I could understand. He lasted another year-it played on my mind that his last bit of insight was that knowledge.

Love

Lyn T
 

Rashley

Registered User
Dec 21, 2014
20
Devon
So sorry Anne I so agree dementia is a terrible illness, wouldn't it be a lovely miracle if one day they discovered a cure. My thoughts are with you. X
 

Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
British Isles
All so heartbreaking.

Like Feline, I wonder if your husband has tried an anti-depressant like Citalopram? I know they don't work for everyone but they made a huge difference to my mother when she was hit with depression (she was already on Memantine).
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
Will certainly ask about Citalopram, thankyou Feline and Gigglemore for mentioning it.

Had coffee at supermarket this morning with friends. He doesn't try to join in the conversation now. Back home, found a sheltered corner of the garden and watched a pair of blue tits flitting back and forth between our fat balls and their nest. Husband seemed content to watch me trimming a bush that he used to do. Made no attempt to take over, which he would have done a few weeks ago. Back indoors, he's just refused an ice cream, which usually cheers him up. But things are looking up; he's just suggested he make a cup of tea! I'll have to do it as he gets in a muddle and then upset, but at least he's offered. We'll put it on a tray and go back outside to see if there are any fish awake in the pond. The garden cheers him up, and the sun's out. Fingers crossed...perhaps the mood has changed again. We must live in the moment and make the best of everything.......
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
Magic of music!

We just had a morose moment when my husband asked sadly where everyone had gone. He often asks that, even if people have been dropping in and only just left. He's always loved company. I said " there's no one here but us", and he said " dere ain't no one here but us....." And I said" ..chickens". So I looked online and found Louis Jordan singing and playing "There ain't no bodyhere but us chickens", and in no time he was jigging around in a really happy mood, and is now humming and making tea!

The magic of music...:)
Sorry I don't know how to attach a link, but its I worth looking it up.......
 
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WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
I'm so sorry Anne. It must cut you to the quick to hear those words. Totally heartbreaking.

Di-Pete said to me Dec 2013 'I won't be with you for much longer' when he was last sectioned. One of the last things he said to me that I could understand. He lasted another year-it played on my mind that his last bit of insight was that knowledge.

Love

Lyn T
Little did we know - thinking of you Lyn. Are your days any better?
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
I'm so sorry Anne. It must cut you to the quick to hear those words. Totally heartbreaking.

Di-Pete said to me Dec 2013 'I won't be with you for much longer' when he was last sectioned. One of the last things he said to me that I could understand. He lasted another year-it played on my mind that his last bit of insight was that knowledge.

Love

Lyn T
Thankyou Lyn, and WIFE...Sorry for reminding you ...
 
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LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Thankyou Lyn, and WIFE...Sorry for reminding you ...
You didn't remind me Anne as I never forget:( I do hope this is a phase your OH is going through and it passes soon. Very distressing for you and OH. Emotions seem to be so raw when Dementia rears it's ugly head-for carer and sufferer.

Love

Lyn T XX
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
If you were round the corner I'd pop over for a coffee and a bloody good cry and whinge! X
Thanks, Leeds lass, you'd be welcome. I sometimes meet up with a friend for what she calls Coffee and grizzle cake. The sun's out today, and my husband's sad mood seems to have lifted a bit...fingers crossed it stays that way...
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
You didn't remind me Anne as I never forget:( I do hope this is a phase your OH is going through and it passes soon. Very distressing for you and OH. Emotions seem to be so raw when Dementia rears it's ugly head-for carer and sufferer.

Love

Lyn T XX
Of course you don't, sorry. He seems a little more positive this morning, after a despairing night. Just hoping the forgetfulness has its uses today. It's the awareness that must be so upsetting for him.
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Of course you don't, sorry. He seems a little more positive this morning, after a despairing night. Just hoping the forgetfulness has its uses today. It's the awareness that must be so upsetting for him.
Stop saying sorry:) -nothing to be sorry for.

I do agree with the TPers who have suggested trying some meds to calm your OH down a bit. Do you have any contact with a CPN or SW? If not try your GP.

I hope your day is as OK as it can be.

Love

Lyn T XX
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
Thankyou Lyn,

Regular GP on three weeks much needed holiday, CPN strikes me as qualified but remarkably inexperienced, Consultant invisible and no SW that I'm aware of. Just waiting for GP to come back...

I recently had a Carers Assessment, and bizarrely I thought, I was told I could, by application, probably be funded to have a treat just for my benefit. ( An agency was carrying out Carers assessments for the Local Authority, don't know if she could be called a Social Worker)

But what I need is a break from the hands on caring, which means leaving my husband with someone else, and that's what he's afraid of, and resists with all his might. We now have a couple of lovely " friends" who come into the house, and my husband was reluctant, but willing to go out with one of them on little outings, but now he resists doing that.

How can that situation be changed? If he's calmed with medication, won't he be too dopey to go out anywhere?

I imagine if his low mood doesn't improve medication will have to be resorted to. And then everything is likely to change.
 
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Mossyanne1

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
45
I'm so sorry Anne, it makes me want to cry. My hubbie was an engineer but has no idea what is going on around him. He was on aricept and now mementine but he still gets so agitated. Today he has it in his head that our house is going to be knocked down, it is so difficult to know how to cope with it, also he has no idea he has a problem. (((Hugs to you both)))...xxx


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